love her innocencse (even thought i can't spell it!)HA!
Holly is right on. your x is still lost isn't he? man oh man - can you even imagine what he is going to have to face t--both of our x's..when they wake up.
good to here you say it girl.. "life IS good."
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
A couple of years ago H had D13 overnight and she took a friend with her. It was b/c I was going to a ball and wouldn't be back til the early hours of the morning. I had purposefully made sure I was dressed up in all my finery when he came to pick her up and even he commented on how nice I looked Anyhow the next day when she came home D13 told me that she had said in front of OW 'Didn't mum look fabulous in her evening dress Dad' and he replied 'I don't know I didn't notice'. D13 replied with 'Don't lie you told her how nice she looked!' To which H replied 'Please do not mention that woman's name in my house ever again!' Oops raw nerve unveiling!
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
You know you get to the point where you say, "Hey what am I doing. This is my life, it is short. Why am I giving up my power and emotional well being to a cheating, betraying, irrational, lost soul." "I feel sorry for him, I have compassion for him, but I will not lose myself in HIS mess. I have already lost so much time and precious moments because he was unable to cope with life, NO MORE"
Losing my mother, got me to this point. Life is good. God wants us to be happy and get the most out of this beautiful world. Because our Ml'ers cannot do that, does not mean we cannot. We have to move on. They may never be able to find what is important.
I do love my ex, BUT I absolutely despise what he has done to me, my children and my family. He has abandoned me in a time when I needed him the most - the death of my beloved mother.
When his mother died, I did not leave his side. I cried with him, mourned with him, and helped him through it.
Don't get me wrong, I am still standing, but with open eyes. We all are entitled to love, to be loved, to be treated fairly, to be valued and shown affection. I will not be his punching bag, his scapegoat, his source to expel his evil from his soul.
My mother loved him but said to me before she died that she did not think he would come out of his crisis for a while. She knew the value of life because she was losing hers. She did not want me to miss out on one single day. I have chosen to not do that anymore.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Life is good. God wants us to be happy and get the most out of this beautiful world. Because our (spouse) cannot do that, does not mean we cannot. We have to move on. They may never be able to find what is important.
I gotta tell you, these are almost the exact words my wife used to justify her continued contact with BF, her refusal to go to marriage counseling, her insistence that our marriage was over.
"I deserve to be happy..." "Life is too short..."
I agree completely with the sentiment. But like any good words, they can be used to justify unjust actions and decisions.
I'm not saying you are doing that!!! Just offering food for thought.
A happy day to all.
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
Trusting, You're at a low point here. Keep that in mind. Of course you feel abandoned and hurt. I am so sorry. I wish I could give you a hug.
Remember you can move on and GAL but still DB at the same time. You can continue to be kind to H while still having boundaries.
I also felt abandoned when my mom was very ill. Notice the article on the main page "Where were you when I needed you?"
H has never inquited about anyone in my family. Your H did extend you some kindness during this time (which I doubt my H would do). And he seemed to feel that he wanted to reach out to you but did not know how.
Let yourself grieve here. And let yourself let go....
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
I am at a low point. I will eventually snap out of it.
Ex was over tonight. I asked him to come over to help a friend of mine with a financial statement. He was more than happy to help and was very professional about it.
After he was done he shook hands with my friend and than started to walk over by me to give me a hug, but then he realized what he was doing and stopped and turned around.
It's like he realized "Oh yeah, I am divorced"
I have to say he looked so hot.
How can these guys look so good on the outside but be so messed up on the inside?
Maybe he just looks so good to me because I am sex -deprived....
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Ha! I see W a couple times a week. She is looking good these days, honestly so much better than when I was in the house. For the last year when I was in the house, her hair was a rats nest, dyed blonde (so totally unnatural and NOT HER), etc. She always wore the same stuff.
Now when I see her, her hair is really cute, and she usually is dressed nicely. It's good to see her looking good.
I am prohibited from speaking to her, so... I can't say anything. I just smile.
T - I hate what your H has done, too. It stinks. But you are a positive person, and that means you won't dwell on past wrongs. You are in this for the long haul. You just watch your feet, take one day at a time. Find stuff to enjoy. Don't stay low too long, y'hear?
Your mother sounds like she gave you some wise words. Ex will be in his place for a while. Now you get busy livin', have some fun out there!
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
Anyhow the next day when she came home D13 told me that she had said in front of OW 'Didn't mum look fabulous in her evening dress Dad' and he replied 'I don't know I didn't notice'. D13 replied with 'Don't lie you told her how nice she looked!' To which H replied 'Please do not mention that woman's name in my house ever again!' Oops raw nerve unveiling!