Been a long time, but I've been thinking of you and wanted to stop in and read up on your thread. Congrats on the new position--that's a good break you deserved in the midst of all the uncertainty (on multiple fronts).
You seem to be in a good place overall...you sound pretty grounded to me. I think it's fine to go with the status quo. Your W. does indeed sound pretty confused. I have a sense that she knows her scenario is tenuous. You've been great in remaining civil, if a little detached. I hope to find my way more to that kind of place.
Great to hear from you. I have left a note on your thread too. So good to hear from old friends
Not much has changed here. I try to make sure that I enjoy life as much as I can , I am lucky that I have my boys living with me and daughter 50/50 so I am rarely alone and always busy so that helps a lot. W's relationship with OM must be going OK. I did ruffel her feathers the other day . I had a friend in the car when I dropped off D13 at her house . Friend is an attractive female ( platonic ) and it was only half an hour later that she txt me "Who th F*** was that " etc . For a couple of days it had her wound up . go figure ??? I thought it amusing .
Hi Dave, Glad things are mostly going in a positive direction.
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Friend is an attractive female ( platonic ) and it was only half an hour later that she txt me "Who th F*** was that " etc . For a couple of days it had her wound up . go figure ??? I thought it amusing .
I get the same thing. I think it is basically a Pavlovian response that doesn't mean anything at all. Just my take on it. You know after so many years of M, you become conditioned to think that you own your S. This is why you take each other for granted in the first place! Anyhow, it's also why she responds like this, IMHO.
Take care of yourself, SD
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
That was quite an interesting reaction from your W.--especially given that she's in another relationship! It's so weird to figure these kinds of dynamics out...on the one hand, there is this total disconnect with the WAS, but on the other, they still experience some kind of connection or contact--but with no commitment.
I think I get what you were saying earlier about the sense of not really respecting her, but still caring / loving her...normally these two things don't go together, but in these kinds of sitch's it actually makes sense. I'm in a similar boat.
Glad to hear that your work situation is better now; I'm sure that feels like a good piece to have some grounding in.
"W contacts me when she wants something, other than that nothing."
Seems fairly common. Mine definately leans on me for needs but I've also experienced brief periods of her acting like a friend and contacting me "to chat." That's the confusing part.
OM does very little for her, she seems to do as much or more for him. I don't know what the hold is he has on her and may not want to know.
Truth is stranger than fiction.......
I've been changing the oil in X's car all along and she has let me borrow it to take trips with our kids. Recently when in her car there was a recipt on the seat from when SHE TOOK OM'S CAR TO HAVE THE OIL CHANGED!
Time for me to do much less for her, regardless.
That might also prove to be the nudge your W needs, Dave.
Last edited by sleeper; 12/28/0805:18 PM.
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12 Bomb and OM 12/15/06 Separated 01/02/07 Divorced 05/13/08 X married OM(OMH) 08/2009 Married 06/09/13
"W contacts me when she wants something, other than that nothing."
Sleeper , funny that you wrote that , because I was thinking last night about the same thing.
A friend txt me " how was your day Dave ? get up to much ?" . Nothing unusual there you may think , however I was thinking how nice it was to get a "thinking of you" text like that with no underlying request. W ONLY texts me when she wants something. Even when we were married and I was away on business I never just got a "how are you?" phone call.
) and it was only half an hour later that she txt me "Who th F*** was that " etc . For a couple of days it had her wound up . go figure ??? I thought it amusing .