Trusting, Until he comes out of the fog, realizes what's happened and admits that he's lost it all, he will not be at the bottom of life. He's still got a quite a bit of the old "stubborn" in him. Once that's gone, then the bottom will be in sight.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I think it takes one heck of a lot for some of these men to hit bottom. I see my h and think he has hit bottom but he hasn't, at least not that I can see.
I am glad that your H was nice to you for a change.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Trusting, Until he comes out of the fog, realizes what's happened and admits that he's lost it all, he will not be at the bottom of life. He's still got a quite a bit of the old "stubborn" in him. Once that's gone, then the bottom will be in sight.
BOTTOM is truly so very very far down... farther than I think even we can admit.
Trusting - I am so glad you are "safe" from him and his financial problems. I have been thinking about my own ordeal--- taht we dont have to carry that part anymore.
seeing him cry - his loss of reality - the pain of who he has become..man i hope he can face it all so he can begin to go up....it takes a huge person to be able to do it..facing it all will be so very hard for him.
i am sorry my friend.... very sorry
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
So often others on this board, including myself have thought, "This is "bottom" for our spouses only to be disappointed.
Take care of yourself and your children. If your H hits bottom and wants to come home he knows where to find you.
Last edited by sleeper; 09/28/0812:56 AM.
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12 Bomb and OM 12/15/06 Separated 01/02/07 Divorced 05/13/08 X married OM(OMH) 08/2009 Married 06/09/13
Ex has been quiet since I sent him my "boundary letter".
I am leaving him be...
Have had many negative thoughts lately.
I have been fighting the urge to give up.
Don't know if I see a future with someone who is so screwed up.
I have started praying more.
I am so lonely for a "normal" companion
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Listen to what your heart is telling you Trusting, it doesnt lie. If its meant to be, it will come back to find you. If you love someone, really love them, let them go. That is what loving someone really means, accepting them for who they are (MLC or not) and respecting their choices.
Ali xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Hi trusting, I read your thread alot and dont post, but your story is really interesting to read ...like what will your h do next and then I compare him to mind...when u were in the divorce process, did yoour h agree to child and spusal support? did he fight you on it? did you go to trial? just curious......as far as your last post i knlow how u feel, just trust God with your future.....it is lonely thats true....you are doing the right thing by praying more....hey we could go out and get another person like our spouse did...we can see by their choice that it really just complicates things .......what a mess anyway u impress me....your doing great
