Sorry friend, I know I'm new to your thread. You may have read a piece from my wife on another thread that you spend a good deal of time on.
Suffice to say, I have been in your shoes on this one.
We, as true men, can never allow ourselves to sacrifice our character for our desires. If you have made the decision I think you have, it was the right one.
That doesn't make it hurt less, and I'm sorry for you about that.
I think you and I both came here with a strong desire to save our marriages. Neither of us were successful in that. But we came here because we valued the sanctity of marriage.
God works in strange ways indeed. If you get a chance, try to find an old thread by Praying4amiracle, or something to that effect. He experienced the other side of what you and I experienced. He too made the right decision at the time, choosing to honor the marriage, even though he had reached a point of moving on before his wife decided she wanted to try again.
Last I spoke to him, things had not worked out. I believe the resurrection of his marriage lasted less than a year.
There is a season for everything. Perhaps now was not your season.
If you're like me, there is satisfaction in knowing that you've done the right thing, even though there is also deep sadness at your loss.
What I can tell you from my experience is...sometimes you still win in the end.
Have patience. Continue to grow. Always choose the road of integrity and honor.
If you need to talk, let me know.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
Woog, no one said it was easy doing the right thing. In fact, I can guarantee that it almost always a road with more potholes, ice patches, and lame drivers you have to navigate around. I think there are some spike strips on my road sometimes! Wishing you all the best. I agree, we should have a big DB convention in Vegas. Someone let Cookie know we're on our way. Peace.Goldey
Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse S:22, S:19, D:16 Filed Oct 08, dismissed Filed again Jan 10, dismissed Now Piecing alter persona: SuperBoots
These boards never cease to surprise me. And I guess the compassion and warmth of people continues to amaze me.
Thank you Bworl. You are right about the choice and knowing it is the right one only makes it harder. Not easier.
There are people who think it is better to have never experienced something than to live without. I believe it may be easier to live that way, but a much darker life devoid of color.
It's funny, but one thing I thought I learned in the past year was patience. Apparently I still have a ways to go.
Now.. normally I would just say.. I agree with Bworl..
But I want to clarify that some here.
I have been amazed at Bwrol's perceptiveness.. and typically we (Me and Bill) seem to see eye to eye. I might be speaking for him some on that.. but he seems to be the type of guy that may disagree with me.. and let it be known. So.. Again here in this situation I agree with him.
"And fate still has it's own plan...."
Fate always has a plan.. and usually you cannot deviate from it if you try. It has a way of making things happen..
"It's funny, but one thing I thought I learned in the past year was patience. Apparently I still have a ways to go."
It's funny that you should point out that you still have some learning to do. We all do.
Some How.. Some Way.. this is all gonna work out.
I personally envy you a bit.. having the opportunity you have had.
Woog.. you are a great guy.. and you have a lot going for you.
It will pay off in a way you never expect.. trust in that.
Cheers to you Woog... you deserve it.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
Christ, this thread is descending into a detective novel!! I think we all know whats been going on though, right (yes John, you need to keep up!).
Woog, as a fellow piscean (and it probably doesnt float your boat, but anyway...) Uranus planet of change is in Pisces and opposite Saturn...this is big news for us. The first opposition happens on 4th November, the night of the presidential elections. The last time it happened, was in the late 60's, the cultural revolution, the vietnam war, free love, political crisis around the world... its tearing down of old structures, its change, its unpredictability and its turning the world as we know it on its head. Its a real dichomoty, black and white, tradition versus revolution, left versus right, Obama versus McCain.... noone knows how the worlds going to look 18 months from now, but one things for sure...
..its all going to look very different to right now. Take heart!
Ali xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
John says that I am a private person and he is very accurate. However, something that I am willing to share is that I am a total history nut. Often I run around with useless historical quotes running through my head. Some are more appropriate to a given situation and some are less.
Last night Forest’s comment about envying the opportunity I have been given really struck a chord with me. I think it is very important that I kept that in my heart and mind in the next few weeks and months. I am so very lucky to have been given an amazing gift. None of you will ever appreciate just how special that gift is to me. But, I know and I will never forget.
So, as I sat there last night contemplating just how fortunate I am, a quote popped into my mind from the recesses of the often useless historical information tucked in my addled brain. The quote is from a man much more impressive than I will ever be who handled a situation much worse than mine with more grace than I could ever manage. However, it still stuck in my brain. Here it is:
“you have been reading about a bad break I got. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.” - Lou Gehrig
Peace.Goldey