((((Kj))) I'm laughing so hard thinking about your stubborn H crooked all night. LOL
I must admit, I think you're too nice offering to move to the other room.
You do sound wonderful tho. It does my heart good to see how far you're grown. Good Job Woman !!
Hugs
ps you must have gotten all the dragons, they haven't been around for a while. xoxo
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
I thought I'd check in on you. This is all so good. It's a little surreal to me while reading how you just decided to move back in. *snap* Just like that. Wow! Wow!
No fighting? No yelling? Just bits of slat-induced awkwardness. It sounds like to you feel really good AND sleeping in your bed. H seems to be...well...shocked still. What would you like him to do, now that you've moved back in.
And blackberry merlot? What is that? I thought merlot was a wine grape variety on it's own. Is this a blend?? Sounds yummy...to a point...because as a guy, I'm fundamentally opposed to merlot. It's against my religious beliefs to drink it.
H42 W36 M9 yrs D8 D5 d-day: 21/11/07 S and moved out: 22/2/08 Still S: 22/11/10
I thought I'd check in on you. This is all so good. It's a little surreal to me while reading how you just decided to move back in. *snap* Just like that. Wow! Wow!
No fighting? No yelling?
And blackberry merlot? What is that? I thought merlot was a wine grape variety on it's own. Is this a blend?? Sounds yummy...to a point...because as a guy, I'm fundamentally opposed to merlot. It's against my religious beliefs to drink it.
Yeah. I think surreal is how my H saw it. It took a couple days for him to even talk about the change. And no, no yelling, just a "You changed our agreement." I told him I had been miserable and at least now I was in my own space, at my home.
I don't like most merlot's. But Arbor Myst has this blackberry merlot that is so awesome. You have to try it. Hmmmm, my religion (Catholic) likes wine. Time for a conversion? : ) (Said tongue in cheek and with no offense to your religion intended.)
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
{{{Wifey}}} Where ya been my friend..you doing okay?
Tawnya
I'm glad you asked because I have just enough energy to do a real quick journal and then head home from work after about 11 hours of working. This is budget season and so I will often wind up here for this long. (Only 3 months out of the year that is this intense.)
I've been good. I really did well with hanging loose and just being damned glad to be at home.
Yesterday I think we had a little breakthrough. He started a conversation that turned to R talk. I thought, oh no, but I calmly handled all of what he asked and what he talked about. Then I looked him in the eye and told him I loved him, period, no ifs, ands or buts about it. That I didn't need anything else to be happy, not a career, not education, not money, not fancy things.
He kind of shook a bit and then told me that for the longest time he hasn't felt like he was my priority. That I had ambitions and things I wanted to do. And I went and did really good things for other people, which made me a good person, but he hasn't been my priority.
I looked him in the eye and told him that he was my priority. H said I know you mean that now. But it wasn't that way 5 months ago and I don't know that will be the case 5 months from now. I repeated you are my priority for about ten minutes and tears starting rolling down his cheeks. He kept staring into my eyes the whole time I said it. I didn't blink, I didn't look away, and I kept saying it.
Then I kissed him and he grabbed me and hugged me. I just don't know if it was only me that felt a little change. Almost like he had hope that I really could make him that priority.
He slept in the other bedroom, but I know I had a hard time sleeping. I wanted to just slap myself for not realizing how he felt until the bomb dropped. He is so right!
Still a long, long hard road to go. But I think I really understood how he felt. I love the man more than anyone in this world and he felt like I didn't need him and he was only part of the woodwork instead of the most precious person in the world to me. I did take him for granted and thought he would always be there.
Now I am going to pray all the way home. I spent quite a bit of time cleaning and doing laundry before I went to work. He used to complain because I would get busy and not keep up at home. I realize that I may have to work late, but I don't have to come in early, too. I have time to show him that he and our house are a priority.
And thanks, Poet, I am going to take your suggestion to prepare some food tonight that he can heat up to eat tomorrow.
Pray everyone, pray really hard. If I have any energy after he goes to sleep I will check on all of you. Got to drive home now and miss the deer if at all possible.
Last edited by The Wifey; 11/06/0812:28 AM.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
{{{{Wifey}}} Wow..what a great convo and a kiss and hug too..wow..definitely prayers going up for you my friend!! I hope you are doing well with working those hours..but I"m glad it's just for a short time
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
