Dear Kerry...I just want to let you know that I finished your first thread today and I'm trying to cruise through. I am so sorry for the pain that you endured but I am SURE that you made the right decision here.
Your W, like mine, seems to have lost something along their path in life. The value of family, integrity and simply trying....seems to have eluded them. I know that these words come long after your bomb came....but...I still admire your attempts, tho' futile, to save your M.
If I come to have learned anything here, it's that..frequently..the changes that occur in our spouses emanate from their own ego. They come from a combination of ills suffered in their upbringing to family environment to their own personal insecurities. Sometimes, it just "is what it is".
I think the key here..is to not spend a lot of time in the victimization and self-blame game. Seems like you dodged that bullet very well.
I noted that you were in the Coast Guard. Thank you for your service. Also, I spent 3 months in Anchorage under the Public Health Service in '84 taking care of Eskimos and Indians. Remind me to tell you the story of the Aleut "Jane" I met at the Paimuit Club in the Sheraton Hotel in Anchorage.
Wuk-ah my friend. Stay strong and thank you for continuing to help me thru my own pain.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I dont envy your situation. You W is a flat-out mean and greedy slut. Something is wrong with NY divorce law.
I dont ponder too much of what happened to my W. Everyone keeps telling me she is going to hit hard times eventually. I dont know. It is not something I want to concern myself with.
When I was talking with her this morning on the phone, she mentioned that today was Nov 7. I knew she was trying to get me to acknowlege that it was our 10 year anniversary, but I just said "Yes it is" and kept talking about the kids.
A couple days ago I was telling her how I was doing in my refinance and my near future financial burden. She sincerely said how sorry she was over this whole thing. I believe she has somewhat come to the realization that she made a huge huge mistake. Her last 4 page leter to me was full of apology and regret. It does kind of give me comfort to know that I was not a bad husband, but yest I am disappointed that someone could be so lead astray. She had her chance, but her actions just pushed me away.
My predator girl in Anchorage was an Aleut named "Rose". Only 26 and missing most her teeth along with a foul language to boot. A lot of young guys would think getting in a fight, winning it by breaking the other assho!e guy's nose, and then having a loose girl with no front teeth pick you up in a bar for a one night stand is the ultimate guy night out. I want a do over for that night in my life.
I had forgotten about the story of your Alaskan "Rose." Too funny. We've all been there, my friend, but most of us don't have the balls to put it down in print for others to share in.
As for you and G40, I'm really glad for you. Did you read the 5 Love Languages book? It has been suggested to me to read. Do you recommend it?
hey Kerry.. it contines to amaze me how true it is, that as soon as the LBS has moved on and is happy, the WAS suddenly starts falling apart and is full of regret and would gladly take you back! After all the rebuttals of your earlier efforts. Its insane! There are all these people acting in such a cliched manner. I'm just astounded when you say "she mentioned that today was Nov 7. I knew she was trying to get me to acknowlege that it was our 10 year anniversary"... thats just crazy.
I do feel sorry for the woman, and of course, she will likely end up alone in the end, as she picked a man who is so much older than her!!!
Yes, I was wondering where you get the love language descroptions from.
Al (PS: Uranus did win the election!)
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Kerry...as we are all too familiar with, being here, we know that it is common after awhile for our X's to regret what they did. I laud you. I frequently say that the 'they will hit hard' line...is something that should not be part of our moving on. It's something we should hear from a friend of a friend later down the line and we say, "oh....".
My AK brute was "Jane". On a cold lonely night at the Paimuit Club in AK, I was dragged onto the dance floor by a short square faced woman who, MIGHT have tried to take advantage of me had I not been sober. She was a king salmon fisherman on the Bering Straights, from Dutch Cove. An Aleut to the core.
Did you ever make it to Chilkoot Charlies? Now THERE was a place to hang out...NOT....
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
