I don't recognize her anymore

[Jeff223]

Hey FIB,
Have not talked to you in a while.

See everything is peachy in your life.

I am out of advice really. You and I have been through the wash and rinse cycle. And just when we think it may be getting better we hear the washer rev up for the high speed spin.

It sucks. How another human being can treat us like we have been treated still amazes me beyond belief. Especially someone who professed undying love and told us how great we were.

And you are right - analysis does no good. There is no reason. These people feel we hurt them and all they have left is anger and resentment for you and I destroying their lives. And so they cling to what is left - the kids for example. And they go out to ensure we are *punished* - they take at least half of everything we have - including our sanity. And then they take some more.

All I can say is where the #$@!*&^% is your lawyer???? You don't seem to have a plan and without a plan you will never survive. You need to start winning some rounds or the fight will end very badly. You need to cut her a deal and end this. She wants war - you need a defense to come out with something good for you and your kids. Please don't let me read what I know can happen without a defense: you losing the house, paying the mortgage, paying her support, paying the kids support (and all that taken out of your pay by court order - without you ever seeing it, and you having to survive on whatever is left, even if it is a negative value), plus you seeing the kids only 4 nights per month and maybe some in the summer.

We don't need another AV8R; we need a man with a plan and a lawyer to help you achieve it.

Hang in Frank. Someone once posted to me that God will never throw at us more than we can handle. I am not so sure about that anymore. But I am still alive - beats the alternative.

I am sure of one thing - I will not disappear quietly into the night without a fight.

Neither will you.

And a clean fight at that - always on the high road - treating the devil with compassion while spitting in his eye.

Strength and Honor.

[AmyC]

Someone once posted to me that God will never throw at us more than we can handle. I am not so sure about that anymore

Good because it's a lie.

He most certainly will allow more to come upon us than we ourselves can handle.

The test is whether or not we will truly turn it over to Him.

[faithisbelieving]

I agree. There is no plan right now Jeff...except for the forensic CPA to appraise my practice. After that....offers can be made. Remember...I don't simply take home a paycheck. I have a practice and also work in another medical venue. That complicates matters. I have a litany of things to do now between 20 pages of questions about my practice, tons of receipts, 1099s, CV, returns, etc...to ship in...an appt with him to come to my practice and inspect and tear it apart.

Remember now....fair equitable share not only extends to the house but MY PRACTICE AS WELL. There can be no 'offers to get it done' before my practice is valuated. Then..it comes down to THAT...and custody.

What should I be doing in the interim?
-should I steal something of hers?
-should I photograph HER if the kids run into her bedroom?
-should I start making nasty comments to her?
-should I get up earlier in the morning to beat her out of making the kids lunches so I can say that I did it?

I agree with amyC. Dealing with my W....I can see this becoming MUCH WORSE before it gets better. Quoting an email a friend sent to me today, who is post D:

I will tell you what I have been told all along...as long as they are angry and you are the target...it continues...D or no D.

My W is an angry woman.

FIB

[faithisbelieving]

To KerryK.....I finished your first thread. I am so sorry that you suffered so much..... FIB

[ford]

man, too much pain going around.

good friend of mine that i've know since 6th grade. made a gazzillion in the dot com days, first wife passed in 96, stayed single till 00, married a freekin Hooters girl with a son of her own. Gave her the world, raised her son.
he came home from a business trip two weeks ago, house was empty, she took everything. even had all the cars, boat and ATVs gone. checking, gone, savings, gone, stocks, sold.

that night, the police showed up to question him about beating her and the kid..

found out she was sleeping with his step sons 18 yr old friend.

he was totally torn apart.

so much pain and destruction.

I guess I'm posting this so when we are at the end of our rope, some other poor bastard is getting it as bad or worse.

today he is doing pretty good. all he CAN do is see this through without losing everything he makes in the future. Colorado law is pretty rough on males. tonight, I'll take him on the great rocky mountain poon hunt.

word to the wise... always marry UP!

[faithisbelieving]

noted ford...noted. Understood. I have reading up on UP. FIB

[smith18]

To KerryK.....I finished your first thread. I am so sorry that you suffered so much..... FIB

That Kerry in that first thread kept trying to use logic on his wife by begging and pleading. I just read the first few posts by me and I want to slap that guy.

Funny how I have forgotten about the immense pain and sorrow I had at that time.

[smith18]

Remember now....fair equitable share not only extends to the house but MY PRACTICE AS WELL. There can be no 'offers to get it done' before my practice is valuated. Then..it comes down to THAT...and custody.

Did you have the practice before you married your W?

I had ownership in my software company before marriage and I was able to prove that the valuation is the same or worse now than when I married her. They agreed to leave my stock in my company alone. For that, all the other division of assets, spousal support buyout and child support is minimal. It appears that my 20 years of work in my company is about ready to come to the big payday as we are very popular now.

Frank, you will be able to rebuild when this is all done with. Donald Trump rebuilt as have many others. Be like the phoneix and rise again. My divorced friend says it takes about 5 years to fully recover financially, but there is no set rule. You still have your 50's ahead of you which I hear is the best part of a mans life.

Next time marry UP as Ford suggests!

[faithisbelieving]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35GfPszsq_Y
..the State of NY.

FIB

[faithisbelieving]

Negative interaction.

My son developed a cough today and we kept him indoors. My STBXW stayed home today too. Unusual...and..I got to be with my kids today on a Sunday. First time that I can remember in a long time.

Tonite, after she did house chores. She asked my son if he wanted to go with her to FIL/MIL's house. D5 was asleep. He said no..that..he hadn't gotten to see me and his sis. Although not a hard push on this...she made him feel a bit guilty. As she walked away, I leaned over to him and in a soft voice I tried to tell him it was "OK". She caught this...stormed over to me...and screamed at me at the top of her voice, "YOU ARE UNDERMINING ME AS A PARENT."

After she left, I went to tell my son that there would be times that he would NOT WANT TO BE WITH ME. I told him that that was OK...that all he would have to do is just tell me, give me a hug...and give me a call later, etc. Of course, she doesn't get to see or know the balance I try to provide to him. I NEVER laud him for making those decisions...only tell him that he is free to decide what he wants to do WHEN allowable (eg, unless it's something we must go to as a family).

Anger.

Contempt.

All that is left for me.

FIB