I started with about the same feelings about a week ago....I actually don't answer when my W calls and I rarely even talk to her lately ....and we live in the same house! I hear ya with the "cool with me" statement. Same thing with coming here all the time.
I think I will go post in my own thread now!
H 34 W 31 M 11yrs D 11 D 9
6-1-08 I wanted to fix marriage 6-11-08 I found out about OM
{{{A in Ohio}}}} I'm so glad you'll have new floors by Friday..nice when you are having a "challenge" like this to see something fresh and new isn't it?? I think that's why I've cleaned more stuff more often in the past 5 weeks than in many years..deep cleaned carpets, the cars, etc LOL
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
Greeting from the south. I traded cold and snowing for sunny and warm. What a good week to travel for business.
Still getting snotty emails from W. Current complaints:
-having to take S5 to the dentist -W having to pay for a sitter Friday night -why I'm ignoring her -not calling the kids even though W said they were too busy this weekend -Daycare issues that I supposedly don't care about.
You name it, it's on me. i go dark and she goes nuts. Sadly, I'm not even DBing. Just don't care.
I still think I'm getting played. Tired of the lies.
Puppy - I went back and read my last few threads. I owe you an apology my friend. You were spot on with your diagnosis.
{{{A}}} You know the interesting thing in a lot of cases is that people really can't see the plank in their eye for looking at our sawdust or what they THINK is our sawdust..it is so much easier to see what you are not doing (in her mind) than dealing with the home sitch without you there and realizing all the things she's not doing all of the time by her choices..
Just my thoughts..
Hope you are enjoying the warm...
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
Greatings everyone. Work has been really busy so I won't be able to check on my friends until later tonight.
Lots of upadates to post but I'll try to be brief... W started out the day punishing me for almost everything wrong with her life.... W goes on to say she has to reschedule the appt w/ the lawyer cause she has no money...calls me a bunch of names for not giving her money. Calls me a bunch more names....
Then I get this email: "I left because you didn't care enough to love me when I was there...then you change your mind...well, it's too late. Im sick and tired of trying to make everyone else happy! It's all about me and my kids now. I will do what I have to do to make us happy and that's it!"
I show empathy... then get this email: "A in Ohio, you have no idea how much i want my family back! i want my life back (you and me and the kids). i am lost! and stranded. and dying inside. Im just too afraid that i will be stuck in this spot again and then what? i love you so much, all this is killing me but im so afraid that it will go right back to the way it was. im sick of failing! im sick of trying to make people love and respect me!"
I show empathy again and get this email: "im so lost because I still dont know what to do...what if its a mistake to come back, what if its a mistake to not come back..."
I ask W why she is in a hurry to get a D if she is so confused. I get this email: "because you keep saying how this was the best thing that happened to you, and I keep thinking that things will go right back to the way they were...im super scared"
I clarify what I REALLY said and meant and get this response: "tell me what I should do!" I didn't respond and got this unsolicited email "would you like to go on a date with me?".
Then we have this exchange.... ME: What would be the goal of this "date" W: "no goal. I love you" ME: "How do u feel about all this?" W: "what? you're my husband. you are working on you. you are bettering yourself. I should be there to help because you are making an attempt. it wouldn't be right of me to not give us that chance. but... I want to spend time alone before I just run back. I want to be sure...is that ok?" (Did she read DBing or something?) ME: I appreciate your honesty. W: "my heart is jumping all over the place...my head is spinning! would you mind if I came with the kids on Saturday for a bit?" ME: "Let me think about it. I wasn't expecting all this and need a minute to process".
First, you sound like you are doing really well. That is great!
Second, you clearly handled W's last emotional whirlwind very well. Choosing to remain respectful but going dark letting her get her anger out but not affect you. I am impressed.
Third, I am with MC, why not go on the date and have no expectations and keep it light? See where it goes.
