And she felt that I promised that I was going to wait until after a D before I saw someone else.
And they still say the craziest things.
Oh my, I bet she would react a whole heap different if you presented her with that collection of happy family photographs whenyou were trying to win her back. I thought you were crazy at the time but over the past year you've shown yourself to be a true man of steel and an inspiration .
Back in my desperate "try to win back" period, I did give her the big photo album with pictures of us and a couple of song lyrics ("Love" by John Lennon and "Just the Way You Are" by Billy Joel) written line by line on each page . She tells me that she looks at this often and it means a lot to her.
I still find it ironic that she is upset you started dating before the D was final and yet all the while she has been LIVING WITH someone....does she not see the oddness in that? Or is it just that you 'promised' not to date, but she didn't promise, so she is off the hook? Strange...
Still, it is sad that she is changing her mind, too late...
I don't know when it will be too late for me with my H but I am sure the day will come.........
Kerry, People tend to want what they can't get. This is probably true with most of the WA's we read about here. It's not only too late but would be foolish to have her back given she's shown so little remorse or willingness to work on her issues. And she still wants more cake. Looking at the album repeatedly must be gnawing on her insides.
I have to confess I also gave my H a photo album of pictures of our kids last Christmas (and one of us) and a letter saying "no matter what you do where you go, you will come back where you belong". I guess he believed that... K
How was it signing the final divorce judgment? That strikes terror in my heart... well not terror.. but something that isn't rainbows and butterflies.
We all make choices. A question I try and ask myself is what is best for the kids, how will this effect the kids. That gives me direction.
As deeply as you care for your girlfriend (and even saying girlfriend sounds insufficient based on how you describe her) should not wanting to hurt her and her daughter override what is best for your children?
Your spouse has been with the other guy during the whole process. That was no secret. You gave your word to your wife that you would not date until after the divorce. That meant something to her. Maybe choosing to date shook her up, slapped the cold fish of reality across her face. Maybe she lost her 'out', her get out of the affair and return to the relationship free card.
This is a decision you make, not one you have validated.
And that said.. You can do anything you want to. It's all your choice.
Well, I guess I need to say congratulations on this being over for you (after she signs, of course). I echo what everyone else is saying in how happy I am for you that you are able to be firm and move forward. It is very sad that she's waking up too late.
You did what you needed to do for yourself and your kids - you kept living and it was up to her to try and catch up if she was interested in doing so. She failed to do so in time and thus, the game is officially over.
It is sad in a way and I do feel for your wife. Hopefully, she'll be able to use this as an experience to make herself better for her and your children in the future.
Why is it that they are so stubborn and won't listen until it is too late? Once the time has passed, they are all of a sudden open and willing to work and listen? Go figure.
Great for you Kerry. I'm proud of how far you've come my friend.
On a side note, and not to get too far ahead here, but are we all invited to the wedding, or at least the reception? If it is in Vegas, I'm only a 4 1/2 hour drive away, my man!
RTL PS - Thanks for the condolences on my Dawgs. They suck. They are 33 point underdogs this week at Cal. Not much hope for win #1 I'm afraid. I'm also bummed the Beavers got whacked. I was pulling for them to make it to the Rose Bowl.
I signed without hesitation. If there was no girlfriend, I would still sign. My W has not shown me anything that she is willing to change - to the contrary - she told me yesterday in very clear terms that she will always be an angry person.
She is just trying to play the victim card by saying I would not date.
I am being realistic. Of the rare amount here that make it to piecing, how many acutally succeed. And of those, are there any that were reconciled after?:
- WAS picked up an STD - WAS lived for over a year with a rich old guy - WAS exposed the affair to the children - WAS never tried to suggest any solutions - WAS has not expressed any love - WAS has poor communication due to pride - WAS says they will not change
I wish to live in a relationship where I am loved and respected as a husband and not made to feel like I am the person just supplying a pay check.
The kids would like to have 2 loving parents living together. The best I can do now is demonstrate, with whoever will be my next wife, that a marriage can work when two people do the work required to keep it thriving.
