Been away from the board a while , rethinking and regrouping , getting my act together a little.
In all things are much the same as they were in this world. W seems to respond very well to attention. She has spent a bit of time here over the weekend and I let her know I enjoyed having her around. While this is great its still so one sided , hey how about giving something W ?? . I guess she does in her own way but its a little frustrating. I will come back later and post more , but I am cooking and the house is full of smoke right now ! And L , I got to your city and had time too kill , I was really kicking myself for not getting ph number before I left! Anyway I realy enjoyed that part of the USA . I am going to write a decent account at some stage .
i can't believe you actually had time to burn here...and if it was on a day that i was here as well (we were gone 8/22-24 taking S18 to college), I am going to just SCREAM!!!!
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Been away from the board a while , rethinking and regrouping , getting my act together a little....things are much the same as they were in this world.
I hear you...
(((Hugs))) to you,
L
P.S. Really would be interested in hearing more about your trip when you get the chance!
I guess I should post where things are at for me. Not much has changed with regards to W . She is being quite good towards me and because I have had much stress at work , she has realy stepped up to the plate and helped out. She has helped with a lot of stuff around the house recently and it has been great. For those that do not know , or have forgotten , I work in the Finance industry and thats a ship thats running aground right now. My current job has been dis=established ( never heard word that before ). I now think its time for me and W to have a "state of the nation" talk , so when the time is right.
W still seeing same guy , who lives out of town and is married . I can see that going well. She did not tell me but I just asked , I told her that I had been giving her time and that it was only proper that she let me know if she is seeing anyone. She told me yes and that she was going to wait until she knew how things were going to work out before she told me. I told her "I hope things work out for you" and left it that. The next day I packed up some small figurines that she had collected over the years. They were the only thing she wanted to take when she left , but they stayed . While I was away with work she was around to look after kids and I get a text " why have you taken my things out of cabinet??" I just text back , its about time they followed you. So she also took away some of her other stuff as well. There followed a few days with little communication and it was W that broke silence. Today was interesting. It was sunday and I had D13 with me . I let W know that I was going to spend day with D , also D is here tonight so I did not expect to see W at all. However around 3pm W arives , makes herself coffee and settles in , looking a little uncomfortable. I just carried on with my day and at dinner time she was still here , so I made her dinner without asking and she left a bit later. I dont think there was anything in it other than she gets lonely and wants to spend time around the family.
Hi Dave, It sounds like your W is still totally confused. She may never recover from MLC land. Seems like giving her the few things from the house had little impact, but who knows?
So what's your plan? What's your goal, more importantly?
Take care, SD
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
"She is being quite good towards me and because I have had much stress at work , she has realy stepped up to the plate and helped out. She has helped with a lot of stuff around the house recently and it has been great."
Sounds like she would have been happy to go right along with the status quo had you not asked her to level with you.
I'm surprised she gave you the answer she did; "...that she was going to wait until she knew how things were going to work out before she told me."
Having an affair really does mess with your reasoning skills, doesn't it!
"W still seeing same guy , who lives out of town and is married . I can see that going well."
Yes, I'm sure he's just about to leave his wife for her so they can live happily ever after.
Unless something comes along to shake thing's up, she may continue to avoid reality. Do you have anything in mind to do that, or are you wanting to leave it alone for now?
"....dinner time she was still here , so I made her dinner without asking and she left a bit later. I dont think there was anything in it other than she gets lonely and wants to spend time around the family."
That's something though, she likes to spend time with you & family.... she just can't figure out that therein lies the happiness.
Take Care,
Sunny
Oops....(cut & paste accident)
For those that do not know , or have forgotten , I work in the Finance industry and thats a ship thats running aground right now. My current job has been dis=established
I didn't know that Dave, I hope thing's settle down soon. Just what you needed, back-to-back rollercoasters!
To be realistic my goal right now is to keep food on the table . Its funny how one crisis can overshadow another . I have applied for 2 jobs had one interview and am waiting on responses. I am still employed at my current job but thats likley to end in a couple of weeks. With redundancy payment , holiday pay etc , will be ok for a while. Theres plenty of seasonal work available as well so its not all bad . I dont have a lot of respect for W right now but do still care about her , if that makes sense. I am pretty much detached in that I dont miss her like I once did. I am doing nothing that could be called DB'ing. No real dating or desire too as I see it as another complication in my life. If I am honest I still have not totaly given up on my M and until then I guess it will be status quo.
Sunny
Great to hear from you. I sometimes hope this Om would have the guts to leave his W and take my W off my hands so I dont need to worry about her. But thats not likely in the short term. I just wish they would be honest about things , after all this i dont think thats a lot to ask.
You are right she is avoiding the reality. Even separated I have been supporting her . Without me paying 1/2 her rent , her Insurances , Car expenses etc life would be tough for her . This is a reality she may need to face soon. I have told her this but she communicates very little about how she feels.
Crisis averted , I ended up being the number one contender for a role at the company I worked for as well as having an offer from another company. I decided to take the offer with the new firm as they are a stronger company and the role suits my circumstances way better. On the M side the only changes are with me . I dont see my M being saved and actualy struggle to convince myself that it should be. So I have hopped off the rollercoaster . W is still on the ride though but she has no ammo left , well nothing effective anyway. I have a lot of work ahead of me bedding down this new position in very difficult economic times , so that and my kids is where my focus needs to be. I have a plan to settle out W fairly when the time comes.
