Help Please w/Email from / H ...CONTINUED..HELP

[MrsJJJ]

Those of you who replied to my first request for help regardng deciphering my WAS's email...thank you. I have not responded since nor sent him any of his requested items. Since my "nice' email regarding how the kids were and wanting to know how he was...etc Nothing more. H has replied twice. Neither one shows a sign of coming home..yet....but...here is his email from last night. Names with held for privacy.

<<Hi,

I'm just wondering if you sent any of the paperwork I asked for or if you even received any of my previous emails. If it is too much trouble and you are not going to send them to me I need to know that too so I can make some other kind of arrangement with the lenders which would be not even putting the house up for sale and just going straight to the foreclosure process. I also wanted my birth certificate to meet my Mom and [her husband] in Windsor a few weeks ago, but I didn't go because I don't need any kind of hassle crossing the border and I didn't want to bother you again about it. Any kind of response would be great.

Thanks,
J>>

I have not replied, however I have forward this information to my attorney and asked him...has my H been served yet...mainly for financial support and wake up my husband to make some serious choices. I am prepared to accept either. My attorney's reply...

<<In an attempt to save you money I tried service by registered mail. It appears that he is not cooperating - therefore, a process server will be serving him
asap. >>

My question is...if my H obviously has showed no signs of reconciling and from my understanding clearly wants a divorce...why is my H not cooperating to be served? I would think this is exactly what he wanted all along or is he not cooperating because he knows what he will have to face? Mind you, nothing will proceed if he doesn't sign and return them nor if he hasn't signed for them...then he is only speculating what he may be reading. Even if he does read them and wants the divorce...that doesn't mean this is the final settlement.

Any help would be appreciated,

[MrsJJJ]

I would like to add to my previous email....that I am not certain that my H wants a divorce because he has never asked nor served me. My assumption is based on the coldness of his emails and that he only uses email as a form of communication.

[peacetoday]

Mrs
Im not sure why our H dont cooperate about D
They say they want it, but maybe they are not totally sure
Its a big decision and they are a little foggy in new R with OW and MLC
I would say hes not 100%
I also think they dont want pain and like to avoid anything uncomfortable
most of these MLC leave a M and strt with OW immediatley
b/c they dont want to deal with pain or grown up stuff
they want to have fun, go on trips, spend money avoid responsibility.
they are not thinking clearly but reliviing a carefree time when they were immotrtal teens
I also told my H to file to "Wake him up"
he filed in june, then stalled and never replied to my counterpetition
My L was baffled
now the court has intervened and set a mandatory mediation
They say dont push for D if you dont want it
but financial support is important so take care of yourself
its only a paper
but if your H is in MLC, it is probably too soon to see a real shift
this takes many years
keep taking care of yourself
Peace

[MrsJJJ]

<<Its a big decision and they are a little foggy in new R with OW and MLC
I would say hes not 100%
I also think they dont want pain and like to avoid anything uncomfortable
most of these MLC leave a M and strt with OW immediatley
b/c they dont want to deal with pain or grown up stuff
they want to have fun, go on trips, spend money avoid responsibility.
they are not thinking clearly but reliviing a carefree time when they were immotrtal teens>>

Based on your response, I also don't want to live with pain and the suffering he placed upon me and the kids who have valued him as their true father, although not biological. Since he walked out unannounced in August, I have not had any fun because when he left, have of our income did to. While he and his new R are having carefree times with no responsibilities; his wife [me] is working overtime to keep up with all the expenses, be a single parent, have doubled my responsibilities [which included fixing a pipe on Thanksgiving to avoid a flooded basement], all the while have remained faithful to my husband. Not to get too personal and maybe I shouldn't comment....my sex life has been zero, zip, nada, etc. I hope I can say this here...but I have sexual needs too.....but hes the only one I want to be with.
As for being a teen again...I would love to do that too but know I can't because our teens need positive parental role models to learn from.
Waiting many years for him to make a real shift, seems like a lot of wasted time by me and these kids...when life is already to short.

I must ask....based on his email..."he really wants a response." Should I or not? First, I simply forgot to mail him his birth certificate but than I wonder why should I meet his needs...when he is the one that walked...not me. The form he wants is a copy of his W2 form from his employer to pursue forcing a sale on the maritial home [he abandoned] but I am still living here. He wants me to help him....but forcing a sale on this house while his family is still living in it...will only leave us homeless. Not that I could try to find something else...but my entire income is paying for everything that requires both our incomes. This leaves me with very little money to relocate right now.

For me, I don't want to respond to any emails that don't show a positive spin or any sign that he at least cares. They don't...they only focus on what "he" wants. "I" want things too...but he has failed to meet any so why should I? As for the W2 form he needs...I don't know why he insists I have to mail it to him ...when he can call his corporate headquarters and obtain a copy. I am certain he knows this....which makes me wonder if he just wants to see what I will do? In the meantime, reading his emails right now...only hurt me emotionally because he knows I want to save this marriage and home....not tear it down. Lately, I feel like blocking his emails for now. Not that I don't want to hear from him or push him farther away....but right now...his emails show no care for me, my well being, and have nothing nice to say. By blocking his current emails...all I am trying to convey is...I will not discuss issues that will only hurt me more. Like a kid, if you want to stop a bad behavior...don't encourage it.

Thank you for caring to respond...it means alot to me.