It is yet again what I have been trying to tell you and others...
His wife tried everything... He was with her best friend.. back and forth... same story as most all on here...
UNTIL... He realized his wife had let go and was out running around and having fun with the opposite sex yada yada yada.......
Go read what he says now...
Read and observe and study why he would suddenly wake up just after she lets go....
Same small thread that runs through most reconciliation...
It is your clue. You HAVE to show her YOU have let go. THAT is the secret to getting them back. You have to do it everyday, in every way. No backslides. NONE.
Go out and start enjoying your life and party up a storm. Play cards every night.. Be a slob.. Watch football all day... Go flirt with some women.......
Do what AinO wants to do... Be selfish...
That should be your # 1 goal because it is usually the thing that turns a wayward around.... letting go... reaching the point where you are saying "who needs this, it is only bringing me pain and misery?"
You don't need it...... 0nce you show them you don't need it is when they turn around....
THAT is the KEY...... The key that opens the door. Stop using keys that don't fit...
I see what you are saying, but how do you balance that with being a responsible person?
In my situation, my #1 goal is to get primary care of my S. I can't be out at the bars, partying w/ women, and being irresponsible.... and I wouldn't want to be unless I could see instant success at restoring my marriage.
Mc - I think gucci is saying not to be overly helpful. Stick to the agreement and stick up for yourself. Let W feel the reality of her coices. If she wants the A then this how it will be. The point is to break the A then work on the marriage.
W came by to pick up the kids. I had them all ready and had the bag she's been asking for. W and I exchaned "hi" and she was gone in 5 min. I didn't let her hang around. She was a grouch anyway. Can't encourage bad behavior.
W sent text to 'please call her about day care' (wow said please... Something is working). I knew this was going to be a partial trap to talk about D. I took 30 min to focus then called.
W gave me the sitter basics but no details or opinion of sitter. Didn't say if she liked it or not. She is very opinionated so her not offering her opinion was different. W then asked, "on days the sitter calls off, can you watch the kids"? I just responded, "I don't know". W said the sane question again. I responded the same answer. I could feel her anger. How do I know if I can watch the kids when the sitter wakes up and decides she doesn't want kids around!?
W then goes into D talk. Says we can't sign until Jan (good news). Then says I can go in and sign on my own but she is setting her own appt (more good news). This means I can go in and when I feel like it. I will call my L and make sure no traps are set. W was discouraged by conversation and said by then quickly hung up.
I now have time. One goal accomplished!
Now I can work on myslef for a while. Reading 'the law of attraction' right now to learn new perspective on how to deal w/ W's negative energy and help my positive energy. Kind of hokey right now but I get the idea.
The next yime my W calls asking for something I am going to let her know I have some of her stuff packed up for her to take. I was letting her store some stuff but I've decided I need the space for other stuff. No sense in having extra clutter. I love my W and am not trying to be a jerk. I need the extra space to finish the house which is high on the goals list.
