Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

[sgctxok]

Happy is good!

[phbear316]

Running- Thank you, for your kind words. I am doing my best to take the high road.

klm-I have to make my apt my home, yes I never expected my life to go this way, but it has and I have to deal with it. And I will.

Funny a friend said to me last night, something is different about you, spill the beans right now, your eyes are different brighter, spill. I told her about the man I have started to date. She just hugged me so hard, she started to fill up, and said I am so happy for you, you deserve and need this for you. I know you have struggled so hard to make the decision to leave, but its all coming around to your happiness again.
She told me to have the best time with new guy, cause i deserve it. As we all do we deserve happiness in our lives.

MY SG
yes happy is good, really good. Throw in a glass of wine and its great!!!

hugs
bear

[SteveInTN]

I realized what it takes to heal me. It takes me, and love of myself

Wow... so very true!

[phbear316]

Journal

Sometimes I just cannot understand my stbex. To make a long and painful story short sat afternoon I had to put our cat down. I had to call stbex to the vet to say goodbye to her.

He came we cried, and cried and said our goodbyes to our angel. Well what has me so confused is his reactions to all this. He texed me most of the night, talking about how hard it is to lose her,he called me and had me on the phone for almost 2 hrs talking about her. Sunday he has been calling and texting. HE even sent one text was a hug. texting me good night etc.

I know he is having a hard time dealing with her loss, and so am I. I sent him one text and I did tell him I don't want to sound like a bitch but, I have lost many things this year you, our marriage my home, and now losing the cat, has made me question how much more I can take. I just kept getting texts back from him I'm so sorry.

My emotions are really of anger and pain. You are showing emotions you never showed when you decided to destroy our marriage. You were cold a callous, mean, nasty,etc.
This is the soft and truly caring side that i loved about my ex.

I wonder if he is really wrapping his arms around what he has done and what it has done to me.

Oh and get this as we are sitting in my truck for a few minutes after we walked out of the vets office. He has to biggest set of brass ones to say to me, deb(ow) says she is sorry for your loss....ok wtf did you just say???

ANd that night I had tickets to see TSO and I reluctantly went to the show, he called me to talk and in the conversation he tells me he went to debs house to play with the kids to get his mind off of the cats death. I wanted to say, I'm so glad you have someone and kids to play with and take your mind off of this. I have no one. no kids to play with no dogs no boyfriend.

I guess you would call this the anger stage. Its hard for me to keep biting my lip.

hugs
bear

[phbear316]

GM

Thanks for your kind words. ITs hard without her, she was the light of my life, when I would feel so down, she would come and sit in my lap and just purr away and look at me, almost saying to me its ok,, we will be ok.

Yes stbex is acting very nutty. Constant text messages about cat. I just dont understand. It angers me that he is showing so much emotion about the cat, and I got nothing.

yea, the thing with the ow, deb says she is so sorry, i went and spent the night playing with the kids to get my mind off of the cat. OK I don't want to hear it.

The new guy thing, I don't know, sending me mixed messages. Friday i asked if we could possible spend some time together, maybe sunday. well he texts me with why are you so fixated on spending the day with me. long story short I don't know what is going on we did not break up but something is not right. He has not been feeling well and i am going to chalk it up to that, but my eyes are wide open to this.
Don't know if its me cause its been 18 yrs since I have dated, maybe i am out of the loop. I am just sitting back and waiting to see what happens

hugs
bear

[phbear316]

Hey GM

I have to find you on facebook, give me a hint to try to find you.

Other guy thing, I found out yesterday he has a really bad sinus infection. So I hate to make excuses but I am going to chalk it up to that. Yea the dating thing I am so out of the loop its not funny...

I thought it was rude to but like i said I will cut him the slack that he is not feeling well, but makes me wonder if this is what i want to deal with, but we will see.

hugs
bear

[Phoenixdeux]

well he texts me with why are you so fixated on spending the day with me.

As a guy, I wouldn't chalk this up to being sick...I'd call it a brush off. I guess wait and see what happens when he's better..but don't hold your breath.

[phbear316]

Phoenixeux

Your probably right, I will not be holding my breath. Will just wait and see, I will see how his tune changes this weekend, and gauge from there. He is also going away for 4 days after xmas, so we will see where it goes. Not hoping for anything to change drastically.

But no offense, men are loopy and silly when then don't feel well, not insults thrown at you.

I have to look at it this way, I have got nothing to lose to wait and see what happens when he feels better and takes a little vacation break.

GM

I will be looking for you later on of Facebook!! thanks for the hint

hugs
bear

[Phoenixdeux]

Personally, if I care about someone, I prefer she be around to baby me, not say, "how come you have to see me. Get lost!"

[phbear316]

Phoenixdeux

That is a good point, I would love to spend the day with him and make him dinner and spend some time.

what ever