Tomato said something on SMW's thread about the prodigal. Got me thinking, H is living like the prodigal son of the Bible. His father had given him everything, nice home, money, family, etc.
He decided to take his share of the money and run. His dad let him fall into the depths and didn't help him. But the prodigal learned how bad it was out there and came home but only after he hit rock bottom.
I need to let H go live his fantasy life and seehow it really shakes out...
And I need to live MY life in the meantime.
Great thoughts BBJ. I finally started living a little this weekend. It felt good and made me feel a lot better about myself. I still want things to work out with H, but I won't live alone forever just hoping.
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
I can't believe your H is getting a house BBJ. I know what you mean about the happy family times confusing the kids. We all went to dinner together last night and had a good time. Today H keeps calling my house and since the Ds are here I have to answer or they will. It is just of so f...ing confusing.
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
I am not a bbjcicle, although it is -2 right now and was much colder overnight...
H is in one of his waffling moods again. Wanted to come to my mom's family Christmas party yesterday. It is a party we have every year with my mom and her seven siblings, and all their kids, and grandkids. We have been doing it since I was born, we just keep adding the generations, and we've only lost my grandma and grandpa, so it is a huge group. Can't believe he'd want to be around THAT much family.
I told him I didn't think it was a good idea for him to go b/c it was a party for FAMILIES. He said well maybe I will meet you up there...I just got in the car and left. He texted me a couple times during the party. (He also texted me before and during church about what he was doing--taking care of the cows--like I was worried or something.)
Of course he didn't come to the party, I knew he wouldn't.
We met up at 6:30 to do the kids' January schedule, pick a parenting plan, and figure out what/how we were going to tell them.
So when we met to do the parenting plan, H tells me he drove by the party 'five or six times' (it was held at a restaurant my aunt works at, they are closed on sundays so they let us have our gatherings there often).
He said he was too embarrassed/ashamed to come in. I told him the only people who 'knew' were my parents and sisters...he said that was still enough to make him feel ashamed.
I went to the dining room table and sat down with the calendars for both of us and the parenting plan samples I had given him. He said he had already read them but then he spent an HOUR looking through them. Then he turned the papers over and just sighed. He doodled, "6:30-6:00" on the back.
I said what's that, he said, "I don't want the kids in daycare from 6:30-6 when I have them, because of my work". I told him that if he felt it was too much maybe he would prefer not to have them 50% of the time....
This led to more sighing, wringing of hands, etc.
At 8:30 we were still sitting there, and had not chosen a parenting plan..........
He is pissing me off right now. He has called and texted repeatedly this morning. He can't buy the house without me, who knew? (oh yeah, I did) Iowa is a joint property state. So now it appears to me he is wanting to stay together b/c he has no where else to live..............grrr not gonna happen buddy
