Dar, it is no good defending yourself. Just keep doing your best to be a good mother and the right kind of friend. None of us know the other partner's story. I laugh out loud sometimes when I read some of the self serving victim spin that LBS screech here. {Some of the anger is really startling!} I am certain that we get the 'revised editions' that present the writer as long suffering, noble, and loyal. Not a shrew, or violent, or a drinker, or a whatever... WCW,AKA Cowgirl, is right. "pain is pain".
No matter what the cause of the grief, we are here to comfort each other and help each other toward a good result. We will keep doing that. I trust you to keep loving your daughter and doing what will be best for her. Horses are best for her!! {I plan to ride more and be less shrewish. We will launch our self improvement plans together...}
You want some anger??? A few months after I found out about the A, I was so angry because my h was spewing and I did not know a darned thing about MLC. We were out on the patio (where else!!) and I got so mad and threw a drink in his face. Then I went into the closet and threw his clothes on top of his car in the garage and also out the front door. I took all of his cigs and tossed them in the bushes out front.
How's that for anger? They just know how to push those buttons in the beginning.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
MWG!! That is hard to imagine but delightful... There is some middle ground between drink throwing rage.. and the flash fire anger and the self destructive grudge nurturing that keeps LBS from focusing on themselves and what to do next.
Your anger was instant and honest, not the festering gurgling sort that is toxic to a family or a couplehood.
I am against faking feelings or game playing to manipulate. I think we should revisit 'honesty' and go that route with our partners. Nothing harsh, just real. MWG, I think you are doing that lately.
FG, your thread is running away without you. Sorry.
I have an anger story...I got so mad at my H for leaving once I finished packing his stuff by taking all his certificates off the wall and throwing them on the front porch...broke most of the glass in the frames! Then I ripped all his clothes off the hangers and threw them on the porch too!
The sad part I regret is that my kids watched me do that. I have grown alot from that. Thank the good Lord!!
Take care Dar!! Have a Great Day!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Oh my, we are fessing up fits of anger? BTDT. Ick! One of my brightest pre DB moments - - I was driving and kept going right past our road and H asked where I was going. I said I was going to ows to drop him off since they wanted to be together. The emails, ecards, txts, her stopping in at home to see H... .... .... .... I wonder if anyone called the cops for erratic driving and doors being opened at 60mph on the highway. H was going to jump!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
But you know what was even more weird? My h did not get mad at me for doing those things. But what he did get mad at me for (again, Pre-DB/knowledge of MLC) was that I obtained a PI report and pointed out some discrepancies in what she was telling him vs. what was in the report. She told him her husband died 30 years ago, I said no, she was never married per the report even though she had two kids. Blah, blah, blah. And it was after I told him my findings that he moved to the couch and 6 months later out the door.
Oh what life was like before MLC knowledge. I certainly do not want to relive those times/days again, ever.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
