H glares at me and says, well I guess your glass really is half-full, isn't it? As if that's an insult. I smiled and said, nope, it's all the way full.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
H glares at me and says, well I guess your glass really is half-full, isn't it? As if that's an insult. I smiled and said, nope, it's all the way full.
lmao..
technically it is all the way full..half of it with milk and half of it with AIR, which is something.
my mom has this on her fridge at home and i like it a lot.
"Today"
"This is the beginning of a new day. I have been given this day to use as I will. I can waste it or use it for good. What I do today is important because I'm exchanging a day of my life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever, leaving in its place whatever I have traded for it. I pledge to myself that it shall be gain, not loss; good, not evil; success, not failure; in order that I shall not regret the price I paid for this day."
Mel
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
Your mind is like water. When it is agitated, it becomes difficult to see. If you let it settle, the answer becomes clear.
Clearing my mind of all the "NON TRUTHS" has helped me see things clearly. I stopped making assumptions. I stopped FEARING the future. I stopped worrying about the past. I am exactly where I need to be right now. Every thought and CHOICE I make will affect where I am in the FUTURE.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Bottom line is that it doesn't matter who was MOSTLY at fault. When our spouse decides they've had enough, there is only one thing we can do that has any real chance at being effective in changing the dynamics.
Change ourselves.
Not in to what we think THEY want.
We need to work on changing ourselves into the person we should have always been. Period.
Quote:
Notice that NDS did not try to fix his wife's problems. He did not try to change her, or even change her mind. He changed himself.
Great advice from BWORL
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
The main lesson, the most important lesson, I've learned from BDing - and from my friends here is that to love in the most generous way is to give without expecting anything in return...It is, without a doubt, the most difficult kind of love to achieve - but the reward can be so spectacular - in that we love while maintaining a sense of ourselves. What I've found over the last few months is that when we love with entanglements and attachments and expectations - we really isolate our "selves" within a mess of dread, desire, want and confusion. But when we love, truly love, by giving and not attaching ourselves to any consequences of our giving - we are free to be whole...That's comforting - but also terrifying - and also so very sad at times...since how could we possibly be whole on our own when words like "you complete me" resonate so soundly in our cultural pantheon of love? Don't we need another to complete us? Romance would suggest it...but love, in reality, says no...we need to be complete in order to love in the healthiest of ways...and that lesson, getting there, feels impossible sometimes since it involves undoing, brick by brick, the very temples we thought were ourselves - and now we're using those bricks to make a better designed, more stable temple..
Beautifully written by Carlos.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
. Ignoring distractions. . Ignoring delivery quirks and focusing on the message. . Making eye contact. . Being aware of body language. . Understanding the speaker's ideas. . Asking clarifying questions. . Recognizing the speaker's intent. . Acknowledging the emotion involved. . Responding appropriately. . Remaining engaged even when taking notes.
Tonight H & I communicated. We both were able to take turns talking & take turns actively listening.
We made up.
That's a example of true loving from Cookie. Listening is such a huge deal.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
"I have become the man I once dreamed of. I have developed a closeness with my children that I didn't even know was POSSIBLE. I have become the husband I always wanted to be - loving my W unconditionally. And, finally, I have learned I can live with out my W."
There is nothing more valuable than knowing you did your best, having an INCREDIBLE relationship with your children, and a clear conscience to go with it.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
One of the most valuable things that I learned was that it was possible for only ONE spouse to significantly change the dynamics between the two of us.
This happens when we truly allow ourselves to invest enough of ourselves into the future of the relationship that we can accept carrying the load until our spouse slowly but surely begins to change too.
I think that might be a good example of unconditional love.
It has to start with someone. Someone brave enough to put themself aside for a brief time in order to reclaim the two of you.
