I think they can tank out w/ OP in the picture...leaving OP now thats another thing all together. My H went to a wedding with the cow and started to cry over the vows as he thought to himself, "what the heck am i doing here, this is not who i took those vows with" It was another 6 mos before he he came to see me to come home.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
They can get out of it if there is another person. The other person is so common in MLC. Can they hit bottom? Yes, absolutely but each person is different when it comes to bottoming out.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Anything is possible, but from what I have seen on this board, as long as there is an OP, they don't bottom out or reconnect. I am sure there are exceptions, but as a general rule they don't. In fact, those who no longer have an OP will not admit they made a mistake and continue living the lie. Again, there are some exceptions to this, but generally speaking I believe that is what happens.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
No word from H at all as none of us have heard from him. But we all agree he was in a very odd mood on Wednesday. D16 told me yesterday that he barely spoke two words in the car Wednesday.
S18's "girlfriend" is coming over while S is at work to spend some time with me. She is a really nice girl and they have known each other for some time. He's been going out with her on/off for awhile now.
Other than that just surviving day to day.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Just stopping by to say hi, and tell you I think you're doing so well ! I admire you, for having this patience...
At times I want to pick up the phone and say...'H, have you not missed me in all this time ? Have you no regrets ? Did all that time together truly not mean enough for you to want to stay ????
As you know, we never ask...
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
I have asked H the questions you have mentioned. His answers: yes, he misses me, yes this was the biggest mistake he has ever made..
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Cinders they do have regrets, but it's not like out of the blue they are going to say wow what was I thinking I missed you so much and I am so sorry that I hurt you all these years.
Sorry, it doesn't play out that way! Little by little some things do come out.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
GG makes a good point. They don't just say those things out of the blue. It took my h until 2008 to say those things AND ILY which he still tells me.
So, it does take some time--a few years at least in my situation.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
