I have asked H the questions you have mentioned. His answers: yes, he misses me, yes this was the biggest mistake he has ever made..
Did his answers make you feel better ? I don't quite know the attachment you H had or has to ow...but my H really does feel that his ow is the love of his life. He can't imagine life without her. I don't think he feels it's a big mistake, so far he doesn't even feel it's his doing, he feels it was something that he couldn't help, 'we' broke 'us' and when his feelings for me left, there was no way back and so the obvious thing to do was to leave, and there of course was his ow who had been flirting around him for the past 1,5 years and he fell from one lap in the other. He sees no harm.
Oh well, don't mean to be holding a pity party, just trying to write it out again for myself I guess. Have a good day xx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
His answers did not make me feel any better or any worse to be honest, maybe a little relieved???
He has told me more than once that in the beginning of the A, you think this is it but you later realize it is all an illusion and not what you thought it was. He has also told me she is a messed up person.
Considering he has never introduced the kids to her and since he never talks about her, I would say his feelings do not run so deep for her. He has no place else to go/hide from reality.
Does he tell me he loves her and wants to be with her? No.
He still comes over 3-4 times a week and still spends every holiday with us including birthdays and his birthday......
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Yeah, it would be good for h to not see any of us for awhile but you know what--he refuses to stay away. He told me that maybe he could go without seeing me but that there is nothing that will prevent him from seeing his kids. He said this when we had that wacky conversation over the phone a few weeks ago.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I woke up early and found I had to get the darned cell phone bill straightened out. The cell phone provider charged us for text messages and the bill was over $2,200!!!! When all was said and done, the bill was (as it should be) under $200!!!
Have not heard from h at all since his visit on Wednesday. We assume he will be over today but you never know, he could have stomach problems.............
Oh well....I have lots of things going on today which will keep me busy.
Hope all of you enjoy your weekend as well.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
M, Enjoy your weekend. Sorry to hear that you had to deal w/the cell phone company. Good thing you got it straigthened out!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
i have been in a funk for awhile now. i don't know how to explain it--i hate to say this but i could really care less about my husband. i have no feelings toward him, i just want to sit him down and make him shut up and listen to ME and tell him all the things that have happened since all of this mess but i won't do it. i don't want to see him, i don't even want him near me because every time i see him, in my head are visions of him with a man (yes, she looks like a man!).
really, i am that numb toward him and honestly, it would take a lot for me to get those old feelings back.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
i have been in a funk for awhile now. i don't know how to explain it--i hate to say this but i could really care less about my husband. i have no feelings toward him, i just want to sit him down and make him shut up and listen to ME and tell him all the things that have happened since all of this mess but i won't do it. i don't want to see him, i don't even want him near me because every time i see him, in my head are visions of him with a man (yes, she looks like a man!).
really, i am that numb toward him and honestly, it would take a lot for me to get those old feelings back.
Try as I do, I cannot understand you or your thought process. You have battled so hard for your marriage and have put up with things I and many would have never stood for. Now when it seems the tide has really turned in your favor, you don't care anything about him. In saying that I don't blame you feeling that way, problem with people who go through this is they hurt thier LBS so bad and treat them so terribly that there is no way the LBS would even consider trying to work it out if and when there was an opportunity to do so. I think you really need to sit down and think everything out and decide if you want to continue doing what you are doing or cut him loose and start over. There has been plenty of time since he left for you to decide if it will ever be as good or better than it once was. One other thing MWG, its great to have a tremendous faith in God, he truly can move mountains and make miracles, but he put us on the earth and gave us the ability to think and make choices. The Bible clearly says that man has the choice to follow God or not. So is it true in all decisons in life. You can ask God for help, but at the end of the day, you and your husband will make the choices.
MWG, Thanks for sharing those raw feelings with us. I have had those feelings before and after I do God lifts me up and shows me how much I really do love my husband. God brings the love back to me, I don't have to do a things. The love is still there...just buried beneath all the pain that your husband has caused you and what you feel for your kids. Maybe you have to feel this way so that you can understand more of what your husband has gone/is going through.
