X called me yesterday from her doctor appointment to tell me that her health insurance had been cancelled even though she sent a check to my company to continue on the plan. We are too small a company for COBRA, but the state does require that a divorced spouse can still pay to be on the discounted group health care plan through my employer for up to 6 months. I told X that it probably is a small mistake on our health care provider end and there is nothing to panic about. I also told her to not go through me on this, but through our our front desk lady who deals with the health insurance provider directly.
The front desk lady told me today that she got a call from OM68 wanting her email address. He then sent a legal threatening email detailing all of the health care setup interactions. The office lady told him that my X needs to be the one conversing with her and that she will be covered as it must be a small mistake on the insurance provider.
I also talked with the escrow officer of my refinance today and she told me that OM68 talked with her about setting up the big payoff transfer to X's account.
There was another issue, besides IRA transfers that I need to resolve and that is a non-retirement stock account that X's attorney put in her column. It is all big losses and would benefit me more as a capital loss tax write-off if and when I sell. I have proposed to X that I buy her out of that account (which is still in my name). She wants to know more about the company shares. I told her if she wants some of the companies, she can open up her own stock brokerage account and buy them with the money I give her for the buy out. She of course said she will consult with OM68.
I'm w/you as I need to finish my financial stuff w/my X and the sooner the better. It will be nice when it is all behind me and the only talks we'll have is about our D.
I hope your money issues w/X are able to be settled quickly.
Kerry, of course, OM68 is out of line. Wanted to mention that I used to work in health insurance, and it is not unusual to have January 1st errors. No need for her to panic, although I'm sure your XW would not see things that way. Peace and good wishes, friend.
The kids, G40, her D4 and I went to the beach on Saturday to look for agates to put in S8's new rock tumbler. I found a cool beach that had good deposits of jasper, sagenite, zeolite crystals, and "Oregon jade" (garnet). We had a good time hunting for rocks and got enough agates to fill the tumbler with - S8 was excited that he found a fossil. It will take about a month before we see the final results from the rock tumbler.
When X picked up S8 yesterday for Chinese class, she told me that she got around to going through one of the boxes of her stuff that I put in her garage. She said that when she opened the box that a small frog jumped up at her. I laughed and said that I did not put a frog in there.
The reorganization of the inside of my house is almost done (with the advice of GF40). The kids and I like it a lot. There may still be some of X's things in the garage and shed, but I think I have most of her stuff packed up. I have some excess furniture to sell or give away on craigslist if X does not want.
Good to see that your kids and G40's D are getting along so well, and it seems you and G40 are also. With your comments about her (and your) desire to have a long term R - have you set in your mind a time frame before considering living together or remarrying? Are you planning on giving some time to let the dust settle for your kids, or some time for yourself before a long term commitment again? I sure don't know if there is a right answer, just wondering...
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
G40 and I both agree to take it slow and just enjoy being with each other for now. I do want some time before getting hitched again. Emotionally, I am very stable now and have no pain anymore about my marriage failing. I know that there is always more I can work on to show her my appreation for who she is. I want to always continue to strive and make her happy.
My cousin is a good friend with her uncle (small world here in Portland Oregon). They talked after I had met her uncle and my cousin informed me that her uncle says that she is the jewell of the family (only daughter with 6 brothers). He said she's a very nice girl and if you are caring, strong, not a jerk, and a gentleman, she'll be a good woman for you. Her ex husband was a scammer, a con man, that cheated on her quite a bit.
My biggest concern is religion. I am not religious, but I am very supportive of everyones right to have and practice their own beliefs. She comes from a very devout multi-generation Christian heritage. Her father is a minister at two Lutheran churches. I wonder if they will accept my non-beliefs or if they will persist in trying to convert me. I have attended church service with her once, but it was a bit boring for me as the sermon was all in Vietnamese which I dont currently comprehend. My hope is that they will see me as a good man that takes the rightous path in life preached by most religions and that I follow the golden rule.
She has been telling me of a guy that works at her gas station/u-haul/auto shop/towing/car wash/mini mart that is in a crumbling marriage. His wife hits him, talks with other men and has left him for extended periods. He is taking care of her kids from a prior relationship. G40 believes that his wife used him only to get a green card. G40 seems to have given him some good advice - dont be a wuss and make some consequences for the inappropriate actions of his wife. She says that even her brother and mother both have anger issues and treat him badly as an employee.
Kerry...I admire your incredible strength and your amazing resolve to move on. I am not sure that I would have the strength to walk into a future OM's house to check out the BR's for MY kids. You are strong.
I've been here a LOT longer than you have, yet, I have much to learn from your courage.
Rock on dude. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Taking it slow is the way to go Kerry. I am in the same boat. Sometimes LK may interfere with that theory? at least that is my exprience. It is a tough battle... You sound like you have things under control...I would not worry too much about the religious stuff. I am not sure catholics are as pushy as some other religions on the "converting" front.
Thanks Frank and John. When I had told her that I doubt she can convert me, she joked that was OK, she will just convert my kids.
My golf instructor is becoming very pleased with my swing now. He says that once we can get back out on the course that he thinks I am going to do much better. I am trying to convince X that if she does not take the kids anywhere during spring break that I would like D6 to attend a junior golf camp that week.
