Stepping out and Stepping UP!

[TRUSTING]

Hi Cagz,

Hope your doing well. Are you going to watch the Super Bowl?

[cagzmom]

Well of course - grew up with Brenda Warner so I have to cheer on the Cardinal.

I am doing ok. Dont like having to move on with my life without hopes of getting back wiht xh. BUT I truly think that is what you do. Hanging on to what was is not healthy - and even if we ever did get back together what was is over and what is forward is what will be. (jeez that was a bit philosophical). But it is the truth.

God has really really put on my heart lately (via the Word- Isaiah 43) to STOP looking backwards and too look ahead and look for Him. so that is what I am trying hard to do.

Still can't see xh - too much love in my heart EVEN STILL. Still dream about him - and the family we cuold have..but trying not to stay there.

Also I am working on some pretty heavy duty stuff through counseling. (check this out the talk isn't about xh anymore - it is about me!! now that is progress ha!)

Lastly my sister is getting married in May and I have to go back "home" where I have to face what WAS. UGH! Making sure I go back lean and mean.

[CMNM]

Julie,

Betsey always told me that the key is moving on with no hopes/expectations. In fact, one of her close friends from this site is in the process of reconciliation after moving waaaaaaay on. And, of course, there is Meredith, who was engaged to someone else. Of course, now that I said these things it seems like moving on is just another strategy and not a real thing. So, the real key is REALLY moving on, not just giving the illusion.

Good for you on the counseling. Damn straight that is progress! This isn't about him anymore. It's all you, baby!

So, "home" in May....does that mean the midwest?????????

Have a great Sunday! Eat lots of junk food and don't feel a bit guilty! That's what the superbowl is really for. Oh, and the commercials.

[cagzmom]

uh yes - right smack dab in the middle of the country - Gods country is what we like to call it. "The heartland."

[cagzmom]

Trying to figure out this new thing.
do you respond to simple text and emails?

[tpaschal]

Cagz,

Hey! How are you? I just found your thread again and caught up on it. I get that there are still the hard times and the sad moments, but you sound good and healthy and strong!

I feel like I'm at a similar place to you. I guess maybe because our timelines are so similar. I still dream about H, too, and even sometimes dream about him coming home. I still have a lot of pain and anger about the OW.

It's easier for me when I don't have to see H. It really would be easier for me if they moved far, far away. I'm not going to move because I'm not going to do that to my kids, but I wish exH and his BimbOW would move across the country!!

I'm trying to move forward and not look back so much anymore. My house is on the market, and I've found a couple of cute samller ones I really hope I can afford for me and the kids. I'm kind of down in the dumps though because I just found out yesterday that I didn't get either of the two teaching jobs I had just applied for.

Guys, please pray that a job for me comes along very soon.

Cagz, I'm glad to hear you are having success in counseling. That's one of the first things I'd like to do when I get a job and get some health insurance---go see my counselor again!

Good luck on getting lean and mean before you go home for your sister's wedding! You go, girl!

I don't have a wedding to go to, but getting lean and mean before swimsuit season is my goal!

[CMNM]

Cagz,

Are you asking if you should reply to simple texts and emails from your XH?

If so,
I have never felt comfortable ignoring things. I think it is just plain rude. You can answer in a way in which you are not investing too much of yourself. As you can see from my little text of last night, I let it go quickly. Only you can let yourself get sucked in.

And, please don't point out how ridiculous it is of me to be giving the very advice I rarely follow!!!! That is just plain rude, too.

Pam

[Dawn of Hope]

uh yes - right smack dab in the middle of the country - Gods country is what we like to call it. "The heartland."

Hey, I'm from right in the middle of the country! Dare I ask for more details?

Peace,
Dawn

[cagzmom]

well since i am not in the heartland anymore ask away!! tee hee.

Pam- i didn't respond. NOT because I am trying to play a game or any of it -- but simply this. IF I respond and he doesn't respond back I AGAIN wonder, question all that stupid stuff that you shouldn't do to yourself. So this time around I didn't respond. Really there was no need.

Text on Sunday was about the football game (pregame -- Brenda Warner.. I kinda know her). Just a comment about her looks. AND today was about d12 and softball.. just a factual statement. So there was no "room" for conversation. HE informed adn I recieved the information. AND knowing him he didn't notice that i didn't respond.

so often i still wish ..hope... you know... does he miss me... see that is why i can't respond.. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

[TRUSTING]

I think you did great Cagz.

Don't overanalyze anything.

It is not worth your time.