SO VERY COOL! And no anger---just reality. LOVE IT..and I am forcing my mind (long story) to be right behind you...but you are doing great. AND WE ARE ALMOST through the holiday stuff... the dumb one coming up then done with the "heavy" ones you know?
Funny you brought up going to your room. Today x stopped by to pick up d12...i get stuck in the same area as him so times... my friend said..go in your room and shut the door. And in essence that is what you are doing...your just doing your own thing. He is there to see the kids/pick them up whatever.... and you are empowering yourself to be independent of that.
wow.... hmm you go girl!!
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
Trusting thanks for the explanation. I think many of us let things slide for a while. I am de cluttering! things I should have thrown out long ago but hung onto. I am finding it is freeing up my mind as well. I read somewhere that we hang onto things from the past because we feel we don't deserve anymore new things or at least they won't come our way now. To be able to attract the new things (that can be anything) we need to have empty spaces in our minds and homes.
The amazing thing about all this is that I am not avoiding him to be hurtful. I am avoiding him so I can be healthy and happy.
When this is my goal, I feel little to no guilt.
Because my happiness is worth it.
If I am happy, my children are happy.
Once upon a time, that was important to ex.
I am also cooking a lot more lately.
When ex first left, I could not cook or bake.
I know this sounds weird, but it reminded me of ex because he just loved my cooking.
Now I discarded all my old recipes and I am trying new ones.
My kids are in heaven.
New memories, new reminders.
Ok. now I have a confession.
No 2 x 4, ok.?
I have a copy of all of ex's credit card statements from the divorce.
I was able to call the customer service number of these credit cards and find out his balance, line of credit, and payment information.
It is not pretty.
0 credit
Up to his limit
Way, way, way, behind on payments.
Would I want to live that way?
Do you?
OW also has no credit. Ex told me that.
They are a mess.
I have another confession.
My son came up with this idea and I pretended that I did not hear it. (but I really did).
He bought a package of "itching powder" from the internet. It was very cheap.
He put it all (and I mean all) of it in OW's lingerie drawer.
She will be spending the night there tonight.
OMG
OMG
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
T It is unbelievable how much damage these mlcers do MY H also blew it all he walks away with nothing except the OW No credit they call daily looking for him I heard he couldnt pay the mediator and my L thought his L laid out the money???so she wouldnt look terrible before the jusdge? all I hear from everyone I speak with that has ben thru this is their H always want to return( not on this board) but in real life I meet many people..they say H always feel regret and few or none sat their H are doing great peace peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Ah Trusting, Don't snoop! The snooping is only hurting you. His problem man.....
Yes, the MLCers do walk away with the sort of person who would break up a family and who has no regard for relationships, but in my case I see NO regret, remorse, or second thoughts.
Although I would like to think he isn't happy, that sure is not what I am seeing at this time.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
trusting - access to their inner lives does bring some satisfaction - for me it brings truth as i still believe x when he speaks.
love your thoughts on the new life - doing it for you
i am struggling with some internal life habits -- working through it with my counselor.... very deep -- very personal --- very hard habits to break. AND they are keeping me from being whole!!
proud of you!!!
and happy for you --- seeing you LIVE again is bringing me hope... i am not far behind you..
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
Does it make it easier when you think that your H is going downwards??? Mine is only happy and tjirpy with his new life and ow, and I have often wondered if I would feel better knowing that their life was not so great....
Then again, I too have reached the 'life is too short to waste !' stage and I am dead set on making my life (with of course my kids) a GREAT ONE !!! xxxxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Interesting comments about cleaning. In my case I think that things were so beyond my control with my MLC WAW that by keeping the house in order (i.e., cleaning, bills paid, etc.) I felt in control of some aspects of my life. Its very therapeutic.
