You're being a good dad to remind the kids about their mother's birthday. You are teaching them to honor her and that is what you should do. However, the cake and song is over and above. Unless you see it as that you are still her husband....then, I see it. But, when you are divorced you no longer create parties for the person who divorced you. You will be focused on your own life that she abandoned....again, unless you are hoping to reconcile after the divorce. All things are possible.
You're being a good dad to remind the kids about their mother's birthday. You are teaching them to honor her and that is what you should do. However, the cake and song is over and above. Unless you see it as that you are still her husband....then, I see it. But, when you are divorced you no longer create parties for the person who divorced you. You will be focused on your own life that she abandoned....again, unless you are hoping to reconcile after the divorce. All things are possible.
I like your plan for the ring.
I dunno, WDID. I would agree with you if the kids were older -- say, 16+ -- but at this age, it's appropriate for the KIDS to honor their mother on their birthday, and at this age they need some HELP with that, don't they?
As for Jeff, I'd just get her a funny Shoebox card, with a one-word "Jeff" note in it -- nothing embellished.
I guess I'm thinking along the lines of that they are divorced already....even though they are not. I think it is unreasonable to think that your divorced husband would give you a birthday party. If I left my husband I would think it was VERY strange that he got me a cake and sang happy birthday with my son. I wouldn't think it was odd if he "helped" him get me a card and small gift, however. That's it, though. It would be like he was pretending we were a family when we weren't.
Yes Puppy, becuase the kids are so young, I feel like its my responsibility to make sure they know it their mothers birthday, they have something for her and are able to celebrate her birthday with her.
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WDID: I guess I'm thinking along the lines of that they are divorced already....even though they are not. I think it is unreasonable to think that your divorced husband would give you a birthday party. If I left my husband I would think it was VERY strange that he got me a cake and sang happy birthday with my son.
I'm thinking on those lines also WDID. I'm divorced and that's how I approach things, I'm not giving her a party, cake with her kids, and making sure the kids have cards and a gift for her (I'm not planning on giving her anything present or card). Its for the kids more than anything.
I don't want to, hopefully, she says she wants to take them out for a couple of hours, then all I have to do is make sure they get their homework done early. Its a school night so they cannot say out to long.
This is the crap that I don't like, because of the kids, I'm tied to this WAS forever. This is the crap that drives me nuts. I'm forced to do things for her for the benefit of the kids. At least while they are young. Then every time the kids have a birthday, I'll have to invite her over
WHEN DOES THE MADNESSS END
Thank you for checking in on me.
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D7, D7, S6 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me New Abbreviation = WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08
Then every time the kids have a birthday, I'll have to invite her over
Jeff, I help the kids do cards, gifts, and cake too. But we do have separate parties for the kids. So with the last birthdays, they celebrated once with me and once with H. My D9 was actually happy b/c she got to celebrate two times. Karen
I went to my cousin's funeral Friday, was a good guy just 2 years older than me, we would always say we needed to get together sometime, but that sometime never came and never will now. I ended up parting with my older brother (we had our own wake my cousin would be right there with us)
The priest read Psalm 23 and I can't get it out of my head
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, 3 he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
W was to take D6&6 to their basketball game, something came up (her aunts by marriage father died) so she wanted to pay her respects before she went out for the evening (trivia night) so I took the kids, she said she might stop by and do something with them Sunday. (she could have skipped trivia night)
Sunday and I get a call from W saying she feels bad not being with the kids more; that she loves them and misses them, I said don't tell me, tell the kids She wants to take D6&6 to their basketball practice on Wednesday nights, and then take them out to dinner. I said ok as long as she gets them home so I can get their homework done and baths, if she has them longer than 8:00pm, I'll have to say something, becuase I need time to work with them on their homework and get them in the bath.
Busy weekend, D6&6 basketball game Saturday afternoon, Ice Skating Saturday night (none of us skated before, so we were all falling down, by the end of the night we were all doing really good having a great time), church Sunday morning, scrubbed kitchen floor, rode our bikes in the park this afternoon, back home now for laundry and dinner.
Thank you for checking in on me.
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D7, D7, S6 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me New Abbreviation = WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08
Sunday and I get a call from W saying she feels bad not being with the kids more; that she loves them and misses them, I said don't tell me, tell the kids
Actually, I think she should show the kids. Talk is cheap... Karen
Good point Karen....she does need to show them her love and caring for children.
Keep swimming Jeff.
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
I haven't received any e-mails from W in awhile, I get this one today - W didn't send it to OM, unless she did it seperately. She sent this out to a group of people - I did not respond, I never do. I just wonder if she reads any of this before she includes me, I don't consider her my friend.
girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said...no. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....and he said no. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry,and once again he replied with a no. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said...You're not pretty, you're beautiful. I don't WANT to be with you forever, I NEED to be with you forever.And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die...
SO NOW I WILL SAY: I like you because of who you are to me........A true friend. And if I don't get this back I'll take the hint. Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they like you. Something good will happen to you between1:00 and 4:00 PM tomorrow. It could be anywhere -- AOL, Yahoo, outside of school, anywhere. Get ready for the biggest shock of your life.. Please send to 10 people in 15 minutes Remember: 'A good friend will come bail you out of jail....But a true friend will be sitting next to you saying ..........We screwed up, but we had fun!
Proud to be your Friend! I've learned...that life is li ke a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned....that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for. I've learned...that money doesn't buy class..
I've learned..that it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I've learned...that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned...that the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?
I've learned...that to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned...that the less time I have to wor k, the more things I get done.
To all of you....make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.
It's National Friendship Week.Show your friends how much you care.
Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND, even if it means sending it back to the person who sent it to you.
If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends.
HAPPY FRIENDSHIP WEEK TO YOU!!!!!!YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I am honored
Gag me with a spoon she is so strange, Yes Karen and Sara, she does need to show kids she cares about them more, other than telling me she needs to show them, she has them right now taking them out to dinner, in D settlement she is entitled to keep them one night a week (M-F) but she knows they have school and today is bath night and I have to get their homework done, so she will drop them off at 8:00 tonight, she is just exercising her rights today.
I had to call aftercare facility to let them know who the stranger is picking up my kids, she has never picked them up before from the after school program. Made sure to tell the good looking receptionist that my ex-W was picking them up
Thank you for checking in on me.
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D7, D7, S6 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me New Abbreviation = WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08
she is so strange, Yes Karen and Sara, she does need to show kids she cares about them more, other than telling me she needs to show them, she has them right now taking them out to dinner, in D settlement she is entitled to keep them one night a week (M-F) but she knows they have school and today is bath night and I have to get their homework done, so she will drop them off at 8:00 tonight, she is just exercising her rights today.