Another One Bites the Dust (3)

[Gypsy]

Hey Ms. Heartfelt One..

Goodwill and consigment shops have gloves and clothes. It's not what the kids are used to but it's the right price.

What does your lawyer say about this? Can a motion be made for temporary alimoney and child support? Find out.

Ask yourself, what is the best for your children?
What is best for you?
What are your options?
What are you legally entitled to?

Bullies are bullies. That why you hire a lawyer.

*hugs*

[cat03]

hg, sorry honey)))))) what a dumb dumb man, I pray the legal stuff get settled soon and you don';t have to deal with this crap.

[No Longer BH]

Hey Friends,

Thanks for the support and wonderful advice. Gyps I plan on making a run to our local kids resale shop. I have been waiting to get a few more funds so that I can get him some stuff. I just wanted OEO to have to actually see his son for once...to see the holes in his pants, the shirts that needed replacing. And yes cat he is a dumb dumd DUMB man.

Maybe one of the males here can help me with this and give me their perspective. I sent OEO an email yesterday requesting if maybe he could bring our son home and hour early so that we could go to a football party that some of my son's friends invited him to. His responce back was "This is my time and I'm not going to give it up." I have been incredibly flexible with him time and time again...offer more dates than we originally agreed to and allowing him to come early whenever he ask. Part of me feels like saying "No more!" If he cant/wont be flexible with me, why should I be with him......then I answer "because it is what is best for my S." Should I continue to be flexible with him even though he is such a sh!t?

[karen43]

I sent OEO an email yesterday requesting if maybe he could bring our son home and hour early so that we could go to a football party that some of my son's friends invited him to. His responce back was "This is my time and I'm not going to give it up."

Well, H and I have been swapping pretty easily, if he loses some hours to me for D's activities, we work out a time where he can get the extra time back. So he usually takes them Friday nights, and when D9 had a girl scout overnight that night, I said you could have Saturday night since you missed Friday. (Although that's date night for him with OW so he didn't even take me up on that). So like email (I prefer email esp. when H is being a jerk), and when you explain your son has a party with his friends he really wants to go to and you understand OEO will miss an hour of his planned time, but he could take/make up the hour the next day or next weekend or whatever? Karen

[Ready2Change]

What is best for the kids is best for you.

I stood up to W and was not flexible for one of her mistakes....I felt better....

I wish you well.....

Any naughty nudges for Ready Change?

[No Longer BH]

Thank you once again for all of the insight and definately for the support. Some days it is like you all are here helping me to stand back up. Most days I am good, and then <bam> something happens and I have to try and learn how to deal with it. Your wisdom and compassion have saved me time and time again.

I just need a place to let this out right now. I know I cant change the situation and crying over isnt going to fix it either. Still, part of me wants to ball my hands in a fist, stomp my feet and scream "No fair! No Fair!"

OEO pulled his paycheck. I knew it was a matter of time before he did it, but that doesnt lessen the anger whe it actually happend. My L called and talked to me about money. OEO is offering me what amounts to $300 less than what I need to even cover the utilites. He has said he would be responsible for the house payment as well. My L said that when you add it up it is 70% of OEO's salary and a judge would not give me that much. I told my L that if he is going to get credit for the house payment as part of support, then I want that money coming to me so I can make the payment. Here is the thing, OEO has no intension of making the house payment. He is going to stash that money aside along with the $1500 extra a month he will have and I am going to trying to keep my son fed and the utilites on. OEO let ALL of the utilites get so far behind that I now have 2 weeks to catch them all up or they will get disconnected. The gas bill is over $1000 behind alone. So, how am I going to pay these things when he has pulled the money??!!??

Then to top it off he sends me an email telling me how I am being a bad mother. I had a talk with my son about how we were going to have to cancel cable tv and the internet. My son didnt understand why (he is 9 1/2). I made a simple graph showing what is needed to live in a house....gas, electric, water, sewer, trash...and that right now money is really tight and we need to make sure these things are paid. In order to do that, we were going to have to cut back even further right now, but after the house sold and we get an apartment, then he could have those things again. Nothing too detailed, just a simple explination as to why he cant have things right now. I believe if he is old enough to ask the question, then he truly wants some kind of explination and I gave him one that was very age appropriate. I did not say "We can have these things because your dad took all of the money and now I am wondering how to make it when there isnt enough to pay for the utilities, let alone food and clothes for you." So, in the email I am accused of being a bad mother because I brought our son into our financial discussion and put unessary pressure on him. He deserves to be a kid and I am taking that away from him.....um, no, I'm not. You did that when you packed up and torn this family apart to chase your selfish dream of living with your maggot (for free I might add). You took it away when you left me to deal with cancer on my own and our son saw me day after day vomiting up blood and too weak to do much, and yet I was able to make it through. You did that when you placed our son in the middle by forcing him to come back into the house Tuesday night and want to know why it is that dad cant have his visitation in the home, even though your lawyer already informed you that you are no longer permitted inside. <sigh> Guess he still just needs me to be the bad guy. Heaven forbid he actually take some responsibility.

When does this end?????

[karen43]

Oh, Bh, this is so stressful. His email is silly. Of course, you had to tell your S9 the cable TV and internet were going to be temporarily cut off. Like a 9 year old wouldn't notice or figure that out??? That's just silly. I think your H has at least a little guilt over that and wants to try to put the blame on you to ease his own guilt.

I agree with you about getting the house payment money rather than just trusting (hah!) the untrustworthy to pay the payment. You can just say you need that amount for the house payment now and then apartment later and can work out the details for yourself. What does your L say about the 70%? I do know that they have things like that, which sucks. The temporary hearing they gave H 50% and the kids and I the other 50%. It's rough.

(((((BH))))))

[Ready2Change]

Hi Sweetie,

I am so sorry you have to continue to deal with OEO's selfish behavior. Just remember that things will OK. You are a strong woman. Vent here and let the tears flow (Just not around OEO). They need to come out, so let them out when they come....

I know this is not fair, it is just the way it is....I enjoy screaming in the car. It is a great place to let out the frustrations.....

The gas bill is over $1000 behind alone. So, how am I going to pay these things when he has pulled the money??!!??

Sorry to hear this. It has to be frustrating....

Then to top it off he sends me an email telling me how I am being a bad mother.

That is his POV. You know beter than this. Do not take his garbage.....*HUGS* I think you handle your son's question perfectly.....

When does this end?????

Patience sweetie, things will get better......Take care of yourself and son. keep doing work and focus on all that is good.....*HUGS*

[LL44]

I wish he would realize that he is making you both miserable with all this muck. Man oh man, you ticked him off when you alienated him from your life. That just proves what a cake-eater he was (I know, I have a cake eater in my life!), wanting you, and his new life. Not possible.

Keep your chin up. Keep polite. Keep up with your attorney, who should be able to get money out of H.

[No Longer BH]

Of course he doesnt see what he is doing to me or our son. He is living in his MEMEMEME world, we are just the evil people trying to bring reality back into the picture. Hmph, whatever.

I guess I need to be thankful that I have a good L, even though he is costing me an arm and a leg. He is putting a hold on OEO's bonus check so that he cant get it until ALL of the utilities are paid up to date and ALL repairs to the house are completed and then whatever is left over will get divided in half. He is also putting the pressure on OEO's L to get some money to me. I am taking with him tomorrow and he is going to fill me in on everything. He also wants the 4 of us to sit down and just get this D negotiated and over with. He said that if the meeting goes well I could be completely D 30 days later. Yeah. Never thought I would be happy about the ending of my M. I still find it very sad that my H turned into this awful person, but he is the one who will have to continue to look himself in the mirror. Thank god I believe in Karma because I truly believe he is going to get smack hard one day.......