Grace-Yes, you should start a new thread. You're insightfulness into your own situation (as well as other's) has always been benefical to so many of us here. I am glad to hear you and your girls are doing okay. Is the communication with your H improving at all?
SC-I am definately on the downhill side of this regardless of what my H does despite my occasional meltdown. Thanks for your encouragement.
My H did show for C the other night. He was late as always but he was there none the less. I think the C is getting frustrated by situation and wants some resolution too so he actually kept us over a half an hour. I wish you all could have been a fly on the wall so you could hear for yourself what my H says. When my H is at C, things seem pretty clear to him. There really seems to be no doubt to him that we are working on the M. My H compared working on our M to when he goes to trial...how he knows what direction he wants to take but he leaves his options open just in case he changes his mind at the last second...grrr! He talked about how we are best friends, have great conversations and he also said that about 4 months ago he realized that I really have changed and that I am more accepting of who he is. We talked more about past problems and ways to communicate so we won't repeat our mistakes of the past. My H even talked about how we need to come up with a plan of how to ease back into the marriage but later when he came over to my house after C, he avoided talking about it...and then he was supposed to call me last night but he texted me this morning saying he fell asleep. He claims he is off schedule because he is in trial. I wonder what excuse he will have next.
I really have no other choice but to just laugh about all of this. There is no point in crying anymore. I just need to continue to focus on the many blessing in my life.
U Hi --your H said some really nice and positive things about you..He notices the changes.. and he seems like he is easing back into the M I think you have the right idea..give him time he is making progress and focus on your blessings peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
U Hi --your H said some really nice and positive things about you..He notices the changes.. and he seems like he is easing back into the M I think you have the right idea..give him time he is making progress and focus on your blessings peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Kind of a strange weekend...my H and I were supposed to do something yesterday but he flaked yet again because he said he wasn't feeling well...not that these kinds of things are really a big deal to me anymore. At least on Friday my H sent me a text saying he was starting to come down with something giving me warning that he was once again making going to have an excuse. So late yesterday afternoon my H officially canceled on me for last night, but we did end up having an interesting conversation over the phone when we seem to actually connect. We made plans to go to movie today which we did. My H did say he was going to come over and stay the night but today decided he wasn't quite feeling up to it plus he said he didn't want to get me sick...HOWEVER he did come over for a little while and he brought over some clothes and toiletries to leave he for when he does stay. A step forward??? Maybe. It seems so surreal. I have thought of this "moment" many times...somehow now it seems anti-climatic.
That is so funny Upside. I had said to my h yesterday, why don't you stay the night, since he was ill and no reason to come back and forth since he was watching the kids today. He said I don't want to get you sick.........Hmmmmmmm!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Sunday night when my H left he said he would come over and spend the night on Monday. So, last night I had a meeting and got home after 9:00 (my kids were at their dad's). I hadn't heard from my H all day so I was kind of surprised to find his car parked in the garage when I got home. I came in and he was doing his best to make himself at home. We talked for a bit and watched a little TV before going to bed. It was really nice to cuddle up with him for a while since it was a cold night. He usually says he doesn't sleep well here...he complains about the heater making noise when it comes on and it makes him think it is raining. I would think he would be getting used to it...hopefully he will soon.
My H got up really early this morning. He got ready then kissed me goodbye and told me he would call me later today. I wished him good luck in court today.
I do see that my H is trying to move thing forward at the moment. I can't tell you how much I appreciate his efforts...I realize this isn't necessarily easy for him. I think the C will be pleased. I do have to remember that my H may back off again...I still need to keep my expectations in check.
There has been no talk of Valentine's Day. I did get my H a gift but I don't expect him to get me anything and I will let him initiate any plans. Last year all he did was send me a text wishing me a happy VD day...so he wouldn't have to do much to out do what he did last year.
I remember 2 V-Days ago that we didn't even acknowledg it. H sent me some e-mail wishing me a belated V-day that was it. Last year we had dinner out, but all I was thinking at the time was what are we doing. I was really having my doubts about our M back then. Now, don't really know how I feel, meaning not putting much thought into what is working or not, just living my life.
Oh my this gets old. Glad to see your h making progress. I can't imagine what that feels like to wake up next to h.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Grace, you are oh so right...everytime I think my H and I are making progress...it comes back to bite me in the butt.
Glam-I hope you Valentine's Day was wonderful. Don't be too jealous of me waking up next to my H. He usually gets up and leaves before daybreak...it is weird.
My H and I seemed to be doing pretty well this week. He's been calling me everyday and I met him for dinner on Thursday. He came back to my house afterward and stayed the night but only until about 4:30 in the morning. He woke up and said he couldn't go back to sleep plus he needed to go back to his apartment because he needed a pair of shoes that he didn't have at my house. Sometimes I have to wonder if he is telling me the truth. Anyway, as he was leaving, I asked if he knew what Saturday was. He eventually said Valentine's Day and then said "You know I hate Valentine's Day...Don't get me a gift." I just mentioned something about us doing something together. He responded by saying I'll call you later. He did try to call me later but it was a bad cell connection so we never really talked. So today around noon, I get a text from my H saying "Hey Happy VD". I eventually responded and we sent several frienly texts back and forth...there was no mention of doing anything today. After that, I went about doing what I need to but things started to bug me. I know I shouldn't have done this but later I called him just to let him know how I was feeling. I thought I handled things in a very calm and mature manner but he said something about me being juvenile. My H seemed to think that my thoughts of Valentine's day should mirrorr his. I explained to him that it wasn't necessary to give me a gift but even if Valentine's is a made up holiday, it never hurts to let people know you care about them...I also said that I just preferred to not spend the evening alone (my kids had their own plans). According to him the conversation wasn't going well so he wanted to call me back later.
So just a few minutes ago my H calls and said "Do you still want me to come over?" I reminded him that he never said he would come over. He then told me that he might have been cranky with me earlier because he thought somehow I was trying to interfere with his nap! So now he is coming over after I spent the afternoon feeling like $hit after he completely disregarded my feelings. GRRR!!!! I think I need some wine.
I reminded him that he never said he would come over. He then told me that he might have been cranky with me earlier because he thought somehow I was trying to interfere with his nap! 
So now he is coming over after I spent the afternoon feeling like $hit after he completely disregarded my feelings. GRRR!!!! I think I need some wine.