His interaction with the kids about your separation is confirms for me that you are the the right track.
A loving father would focus on the kids' feelings and reassure them that both of you love them and will be there for them and would keep the marriage issues between the two of you - period.
Instead he is selfishly focused on making sure his kid knows he didn't do anything "wrong".
I feel sick. My heart goes out to your kids.
I agree with you completely. Hugs.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Even if we don't succeed in our M's, I know we all will grow in our selves and continue to give love to our kids and others that come along.
NM
I read a book years ago about near death experiences. Almost everyone stated that when they entered the loving, accepting, brilliant white light, they were asked
"how well did you love & what did you learn?"
It's my life motto.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
I wonder if you need to make absolutely crystal clear to him that you're considering this a last ditch effort to SAVE your marriage - and not the first/second/third step to ENDING it.
Hi Sweets !!! Thanks for your suggestion. Sorry that you guys went through that, how are things now ?
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
I am unable to post or share because I am still effected by your anger from many months ago. Or rather, I choose to be because I don't want that directed at me again. Weird, huh? How folks who were once close .. aren't... because of fear.
*hugs*
I am sorry that you feel that way. What I recall is that you sent me a pretty strong post, I responded with anger, then we spoke on the phone & both apologized.
I wish you the best, always.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Thanks, SC. I'm sorry you've had to deal with all of that. He sounds like a real horse's ass.
Puppy
I laughed so hard when I saw the sno caps post. LOL
Thanks for that.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
LOL, but are you able to "enjoy" yourself in 5 minutes.
I'm slow, I take 20 mins. Alas........ I went to sleep very frustrated for a very long time.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
I'm healthier, more assertive, I have better self-esteem.
It is my "thought" that you are still some of that. I just don't think you are making a smart choice here.
& you're entitled to your opinion.
"I am not any of that now. I am confident. I know exactly what I'm doing. I have grown tremendously."
<<You told me all that.. in your first post. You were.. who you think you are now.. way back then. My perception of you has not changed. You are still that "person".
I beg to differ. In my first months of posting, my fingers shook I was so afraid. Now, I'm not. I'm not sure how you know who I think I am.
<<The issue was not what you said. It was how you reacted to the "stitch". Your reaction.. sets a pattern. That is all.
I haven't posted enough about IC lately for you to know that the pattern & my reactions have changed.
God Speed.. and Good luck to you.
thank you.
I hope that you find the "happy" one day.
I'm finding bits of happiness in each & every day now.
same to you
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
