Being in a good place, being healthy helps you make good decisions.
Never talk, argue or try to make sense of things with a drunk person...
Never talk, argue or try to make sense of things when you are drunk.
When my spouse left, I was devastated but fully believed it was his misery in our marriage for leaving. I stayed out of snooping, avoided any gossiping until a rumor caught up to me.. that a man who fit his description had left his wife to move in with his girlfriend in a specific town.
As bad as him leaving felt.. multiply that by shattered glass, searing heat and being shredded by clinging vines. It changed everything.. and the hurt was phenomenal.
And I kept going back to it.. doing one more search, figuring out her name without ever asking anyone anything. Whatever satisfaction I gained by gaining tidbits was washed away by a greater misery.
For me.. snooping was masochistic.. hurt bunches and didn't help at all.
*hugs*
PS.. Letting go goes a long way toward acceptance.
Oh my god, I was right all along. EA with his employee. He said it started jan, they kisses. I was so calm then he said he had texted today to see how her day was. while i'm losing my mind. He said don't tell her husband, don't do that to her. I lost the plot and slapped him and threw him out
I'm so sorry, but at least you know the truth now. Take a day or two to think about this, and do NOT promise your husband ANYTHING, one way or another. He deserves no answers from you, and you should tell him that.
Let him sweat.
After you've had a chance to process this and calm down, we can all help you with what you should do re: OW's husband. Personally, I feel he has a right to know, so that he can make his OWN decisions that are best for him and his family.
Last I checked, you don't need Viagra for "kissing," so it's probably just best to assume it's gone beyond that and deal with this all at once emotionally. Cheating spouses will usually cop to one level LESS than what they are really doing.
Do you have any friends or family you can get with today nearby? Or a priest or minister or someone who can counsel you? Today is going to be rough on you, and you're going to need some calm, levelheaded support.
I'm so ashamed to tell anyone. I'm so shocked. Here I am spending a fortune trying to help him through depression. What a fool I am. Said he hates himself. Wouldn't start a family with me but she has a kid. Makes me sick to my stomach,
He seems to really care for her. I'm not going to call her, don't want to lower myself
You DO need to confront your husband more thoroughly, and consider exposing their affair. But there'll be plenty of time to debate that and figure out your best options.
Prepare yourself for a SLEW o' lies in the next 48 hours. The two of them are probably planning their spin as we speak.
yes read them but at that point hadn't a clue what I wasdealing with. Was worried it was emlc. what a fool. I can't afford this house and I have no savings. We discussed all this before we married, his ex did it to him.
I can't stand the fact that he has been texting her while I've been going through hell.
