Wow, SC, even in the 1950's the husband at least cut the grass. Sorry ahead of time if you still love him, but I think I'll change his nickname to A$$hole.
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
I hear you! I would love to put up my list but it would include mothering my mother, my brother, two husbands, two kids, and all my friends. My neighbors call me Wonder woman - I call myself stupid. What goes through our minds at times?!?!?!?! So, you have done a good job, time to rest and recuperate yourself.(Unless you would like to be my mother LOL - I could use one too.)Couldn't we all.
No worries Silver, I absolutely do not love him. I'm reading this book called The Manipulative Man, Identify his Behavior, Counter the Abuse, Regain Control.
He completely fits the profile for a "hostile woe-is-me dependent passive aggressive male."
From Chapter 5:
Some men with dependency issues have gone to the dark side They are verbally emotionally, and/or physically cruel to the women in their lives. Be assured, he would be the last person to admit he cannot survive emotionally without his mate.
If you are a successful woman, the Hostile Dependent Man will be envious and malicious. If you become annoyed with him, or critical, he feels demeaned and may become angry. He will resent anything that distracts your attention from him, including children or illness. Such men are dependent because they lack the self-confidence or skill to create a life for themselves. To maintain the illusion that they have an emotional existence, they become enmeshed with you. Their boundaries are ill-defined, they perceive their mate as an extension of themselves. They may use intimidation to forestall abandonment. If you have reason to believe a man is hostile and dependent---- run.
This book is very enlightening.
Thanks for stopping in. I appreciate the nicknames. Keep them coming. lol
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Kassie, I have felt stupid too. But, in thinking about my reasons further, I thought if I was super woman he would appreciate me & reciprocate. I am a giver. I thought that if I gave, he would too. I was mistaken. He is a taker.
We could mother each other. LOL I you're right, we could use a break.
Thanks for coming by. Next time I'll serve lemonade.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
My list is similar only since I dont have a garden, I have no grass to cut and I DONT change the filters of the ACs... OK, maybe my list is not as bad but mainly because I am lazy... LOL
I love gardens but don't have any - been too distracted by my M to create one eventhough that is what I want. I actually have many plants in my office at work and often sit by them and pretend I am in a garden. Maybe my GAl thing this spring will be to create that garden. Anyone want to join in? Gardens, lemonade and cookies, sitting in white wicker lawn chairs. Anyone need an umbrella?
Just letting you know I am keeping up with you and here to lend quiet support. I have learned the importance of finding my own way and have, myself, appreciated very much the quiet support lent to me by people here, including you.
Hey there, sweets! Catching up with ya (and others) today.
I owe you so much! You know I love ya and will never doubt you nor the choices you make. Although many of us are traveling along similar paths, no one else is walking it in your shoes. Only you know what is best for you and that's what matters most. Don't ever forget that.
(((((Hugs)))))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
