Here's a question for everyone. My parents' birthdays are tomorrow and thursday. What do you give a man for his 88th birthday, and a woman for her 80th? We will go visit them for the weekend.
Sara, I would like to share this with you from my own experiences with my grandparents and even my parents. I learned that when they get old that "surprise" parties is certainly not the way to go.....in case you or somebody else were planning that event. Even if they are in very good health, it tends to throw them a bit and makes them......shall I say, "nervous", or almost to the point of shock. In fact, they can be so thrown off by the surprise that they can't get their "barrings", so to speak, enough to fully enjoy the party. I also learned that the biggest part of a birthday party for them, is looking "forward" to the actual event taking place. They get so excited waiting in anticipation.
As far as a gift.....that is hard. Certainly not more "junk" to put around. However, I did get a gift for my grandparents 60th wedding anniversary that was a plaque that had a silver tree and had all the kids and grandchildren's names with their birthstones. That seem to be special to them. Women like a "throw" cover or blanket that has the names of family members. Anything that is family orientated.....you know with names of the kids and grandchildren, great-grandchildren (lol). Something sentimental goes a long way. Not knowing the man and his personality makes it kind of hard to think of something. If he has a great sense of humor......he might love a great gag gift. That goes for the woman, also. Or if there was something that would bring back special memories for them when they were very young......like an old record album or a pinup picture of a famous actor/actress in their day. Something funny or sentimental.
Planning a night out or a trip or anything that involves very much travel or moving about a lot would depend on the health. Being around a large crowd......it depends so much on their mobility and health.....and nerves. Things they are not use to makes them very nervous at that age.
Well, good luck. I know it isn't easy. My grandparents lived a long time, too, so I am mostly basing this from those experiences and from other elderly people I have known.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I just finished "Love the One You're With" by Emily Giffin. Here's something the protagonist says near the end of the book:
"But maybe that's what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all."
She agrees with us. Love is a choice; a choice you make every day.
I just finished "Love the One You're With" by Emily Giffin. Here's something the protagonist says near the end of the book:
"But maybe that's what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all."
She agrees with us. Love is a choice; a choice you make every day.
Sara--
And that is why I can stand for my marriage restoration. I have made a conscious decision to love my DH through all of this. That was why I took the bomb hard, too. I had made that decision the day I got married--that no matter what happened, I would always make the decision to love my husband. I thought he had done the same.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Sara, I'm glad to hear that the dance fiasco turned out okay. You've got to give it to him for even attempting to go. Not many men would do that.
I think you've got your parents' gifts covered now. I think the biggest gift you can give them is your time. I know they will love being around you.
I think the Didi's idea of taking your H to a sporting event is a great idea. It doesn't necessarily have to be at this time, but soon. It would be cute to get a humorous card and write a little note in there about the dancers.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
It is so hard to wipe the slate clean after a bad episode, isn't it? I thought we were back to normal after we made up last Sunday. But honestly, this week has not been the happy home we usually keep. I saw the ugly side of him for the first time in a long time, I think almost 2 years. It was hard to control myself and just go on like it didn't happen. I think holding my tongue and not telling him when he annoys me does help. It would have been so easy to hold a grudge, but I decided to just let it go. It is more important to get along.
I just called and suggested that since we are visiting my parents for their birthdays this weekend, that we do our usual Saturday night date tonight. That way, no matter what happens tomorrow night, he will not feel that he was deprived of another Saturday night. Kind of like insurance for the weekend.
So, all in all, the weekend went well. It really is amazing how much my husband enjoys visiting my parents. No resentment at all about spending his weekend driving 4 hours each way to see them. So that is good. But now that I'm home, I'm ready for a weekend. This is the good part of unemployment, I guess.
Anyway, sometimes you find good quotes in unusual places. I'm reading a light-hearted book called "Gods Behaving Badly" it's about what the Greek gods are doing now that they've fallen on hard times as no one believes in them anymore. So, they are living in squalor in London, and discussing the good old days and how things have changed.
Artemis says to Eros, "It's all right for you, people still fall in love. You've still got a reason to live." And Eros answers,
"I don't know about that, I don't think people are that keen on love anymore - real love, the complicated stuff. They like romance and sex - sorry - and when that runs out it all looks a bit too much like responsibility and then they quit."
