You're most definitely not alone. I had a crying spell last night after watching the movie Twilight. Of all things, after feeling so defiant all month, preparing for mediation, working on my terms and what to wear, go figure. I think it's going to take me years.
And about the bowling alley incident - I don't think it was pursuing at all - just checking out the situation to see if xBF was being truthful or not. I guess NOT. So now you know. But I do think Gucci is right telling you to disappear now.
Find what really makes you happy - that move to SF?
Have a super week!
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
Thanks Silver. I'm just so tired of knowing he still has an effect on my feelings (and I'm guessing you feel the same). And it continues because when I think about Gucci's advice to not respond to him for a couple weeks I know it's going to be easy because I haven't heard a peep out of him. I wonder what's going on in his mind - how do you go from willing to do anything to work it out to not a word? Sigh. But as my friend JD says, it's trying to rationalize the irrational so I will try my darndest to keep my mind otherwise occupied.
Well, off for my walk then to run a couple errands and working on my 30-second personal statement for interviews.
Last edited by pearlharbr; 03/23/0904:30 PM.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
I found w/my ex-h, that when he'd say all the "I'll do anything" stuff, HE MEANT IT WHEN HE SAID IT. Just like the abusers who say "it'll never happen again". It's easy to talk the talk, more difficult to walk the walk. Especially when his heart isn't really in it (maybe).
That's why you ignore everything he SAYS, and only look at what he actually does.
You have me wanting to put on my "fab new jeans w/purple heels!" and I'm a guy
pearlharbr,
Hang in there. It's tough. Even when you think you're over it thoughts creep back into your head. My wife and I have a child so there is a lot of interaction. The days I don't talk to her are the best. It has gotten worse since now we are planning a move to Colorado. It's so odd she will talk about getting an apartment out there but then 5 minutes later we have discussion about I might not want to take a trip I am planning with our child now due to the move and her commment is, "well we can take her there next year"?????????????????? Who are you calling "WE" kimosabi??????
There is no we. I sometimes get a huge laugh when the WAS does the backsliding LOL!
Sorry.. I rant. Really just wanted to add my 2 cents in there too and say hope the blue goes away soon. I mean come on... a woman who loves baseball and sports bars? You have to be catching someone's eye
davidswife - That is a good observation to ponder. I'm not sure if he ever did mean it when he said it. I guess it's just one of those things that I need to let go of without an explanation. But that's why I was always leery, he has not DONE anything. That is the truth of the situation.
Kenn - Thanks for the support. I have said before that I am glad we don't have kids so once everything is sorted out and settled I will never have to speak to xBF again. And I won't. I have never been one of those people who is friends with an ex. And xBF knows this and has said he's sad about never seeing or talking to me again. Too bad for him, he chose the actions so he chose the consequences. On another topic - where in CO are you moving if you care to share? Denver is nice but I cannot wait to get back to the coast myself. It is just way too dry here and I need a real city.
Tawnya - when the summer concert schedule is announced I'll have more definite ideas on where I want to go for a girls' weekend.
It was a quiet night at home watching movies, tv, surfing and chatting online. I kept the blues at bay pretty well. Just a couple minutes ago I got sad again looking at my kitties sleeping next to me on the sofa. They fight all the time and generally avoid each other. But the little one was already curled up asleep and the big one jumped up next to me, looked at both of us, and plopped himself down between us with one paw on his sister. It breaks my heart to think about leaving the little one behind if they are actually starting to get along. And I will have to give her up completely since there will be no contact with xBF. Sigh.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
Ok, I really should have gone to be early like I planned.
Now I'm watching Oprah and Steve Harvey is on talking about relationships from the man's perspective.
He said there are three things a man needs in a relationship: love, support, and sex. If one of those three is missing then he will go looking for it elsewhere. I feel terrible because xBF was missing at least one, if not two of the three. Probably for a long time. I am a terrible partner, that's why he turned to OW and I did this all to myself.
Last edited by pearlharbr; 03/24/0907:12 AM.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
But on the bright side if you love your kid then a MLC spouse guarantees you get to see your child LOL! Have to look on the bright side of everything right? Every time I hear on the phone "I am so stressed out" I respond, "Red Rover Red Rover send my daughter on over"
And Denver it is... so don't go back to the coast until you can tell me about all the good sports bars...K?
And which coast? East or (I am assuming) West? I hope none of my east coast friends take offense but I am so looking forward to heading back west. Met my wife out on the east coast and tshe never really wanted to go that way..... hat's off to the OM LOL!! Sad but it's just another way of looking at the bright side
