Everything is going great! I feel alive again. I played hookie from work yesterday so I could pretend I was young and play in the snow. Had a great time. Didn't want the day to end.
Things with stbx have settled down, he has been nice lately.
I am not going to let the little things bother me any more. Life is too short.
Was informed today that the way the economy is my job may go from full time to part time. I am trying not to let it get me down. I have to keep thinking positive.
Okay, I am on the verge of jumping in deep water without a life jacket here. I am tired of things and don't know what to do to fix it. (Good news is I am still in a somewhat positive mood, I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel...just need to find it)
I have found out my divorce may take forever to get signed. The judge is still signing divorce decrees from November of 08 and mine was not filed until January 09. Please give me the strength to hang in there. I want this done and over with.
My stbx is making me so mad I could spit nails. It seems he is choosing his "new family of 6 months" over his daughters. Our youngest is manager of the high school tennis team but does get to play as a substitute at times. She has called her father to come watch but unfortunately it is the same days as one of the OW's kids baseball games. He chooses to appease the OW instead of his own daughter. It is so hard to see her so unhappy and have to listen to her complain about it. What can I do? I have learned to not take up for stbx anymore but I hate seeing my kids hurt.
I have to listen to my stbx call and complain that the girls do not accept OW but they partially accept my boyfriend. I told him it is because I let them take the lead in when they want to be around him. He tries to push the girls onto OW. I told him he needs to take his time with them. They are older and I'm sure it is weird for them to see their mom and dad with other people. Hell, it is weird for me to be with someone else after 20 years.
My stbx has always been there for the girls up until a couple months ago. If they needed something, he would get it for them. Sometimes he would ask if I would pay 1/2 and I always did. Now he tells them to ask me because he pays child support and doesn't have to get them anything else. He is turning into a mean person. I don't care how he treats me but to treat his own kids this way. It is heart breaking. My girls are beginning to tell me they don't have a dad. I don't want this for them.
Other than all of this, I have a question for some of you out there. How do you deal with your kids and boyfriends/girlfriends? Like I said, I am not pushing mine together and my boyfriend agrees. He says it takes time for them to get used to the idea. My problem is I feel guilty when I spend time with boyfriend when I have the kids. I feel like I am taking away time from them. But then if I had to wait and just see him every Wednesday and every other weekend I feel I don't see him enough. I get mad because I feel like stbx has the best of both worlds.
T2, I normally don't post round here...its like different turf. Jets and Sharks...see how many get that reference.
That beign said, There are a ton of amazing people here to help you out. Sooo I'm not sure why the invite to come and help you out here. My experince lies in helping...or bashing idiots in MLC.
Quote:
My problem is I feel guilty when I spend time with boyfriend when I have the kids. I feel like I am taking away time from them.
Well you are. : ) Were you expecting that? Prob not.
You are BUT that is a good thing. Look IF the sky was green and you and your husband were still together, you would (hopefully) have date nights just you two.
This is a little different BUT just as vital. Adult alone time...I'm not just talking sex here, but adult conversations and togetherness without a pillow to the face.
Look your kids are your world. To the right guy, YOU are his world, and the two worlds need to orbit for harmony. Capice?
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Jets and Sharks...see how many get that reference.
Westside story?
Thanks for trying Jack. I guess I see how well you do in MLC that I was hoping there would be a little bit of advice you could give me here. I didn't think about it that I took you out of your "turf" as you put it.
My new turf is here but I just feel all alone without the group.
