What you are feeling is totally normal under MLC circumstances. I think we all have felt the same way.
As for hating the OW. I did too. I would imagine doing all these awful things to hurt her, but I didn't. I kept it in check for the most part. Just remember what goes around comes around.
The bus is warming right now, where do you want me to meet you???? LOL
Thanks MOM.....it helps to hear that other people went through the same things....it is a rollercoaster though....some days I"m up and some days I'm down....I'd settle for a happy medium....I know what you mean about the thoughts though....I have had some awful thoughts but I'm not that kind of person...I have never said or called her at all....now if I see her that might be another story...it could get ugly quick....as my H says....you'll see us sometime...I told him I really better not....it wouldn't be good for her....they didn't only hurt me but my children and my entire family....that's grounds for war....NOBODY messes with my kids...even my H would tell you that....sometimes I scare myself....LOL.....
The bus needs to come get me and I think we"ll go somewhere warm first, then off to take care of business...I want to be tan first...LOL.....
Some days I wish I could do like he does and block everything out except me...but I can't...I have responsibilities...and they depend on me to take care of them...I'm gonna be Okay....I think....
vroooommm....vrrroooommmm......
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Treese ever notice how green the grass is over the septic system????????
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
I always pray for weeds in his grass....brown will work... I hope their tank backs up....
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Treese, Never, ever wish that you could do like he does...he has no soul, heart or feelings right now for anyone but himself. You do not ever want to go down the path he has chosen.
Everything your h has said and done and will continue to do has been written in the scripts before your h flipped his wig. It's a standard pattern set in stone for many of the things that they say and do. Learn from what you've read here that your h is doing a large majority of the mlc traits. Understand that there's nothing you can say or do that will change the sand in the hour glass, for it will have to run it's course until the glass is empty and he has hit bottom. Let him go...do not stand in his way for he must learn what is the most important thing in life--finding happiness from within and he must come to realize that his family is the most precious things in life.
You...take from this board the knowledge that you learn and apply it in your day-to-day life...learn to live your life to the fullest. Do not second guess yourself and whatever you do, you do not wish to have the "freedom" that you think he has now. It is an illusion, one that is built on mask wearing, the house that he lives in his built on sand and it will crumble. Treese, let him go. It is time for you to turn your complete focus back on to your children and yourself. There's nothing you can do for him...his hourglass will take care of everything that involves him.
Focus on you and your children...nothing else matters at this time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Again Snodderly....you have put it all so beautifully....I love coming here on Saturday morning and finding a post from you...your knowledge from experience helps me tremendously...I do realize that he is no one that I ever knew and he has to go through this himself...I just have backslides and moments of sadness....I'll get through it....why? because of my 3 beautiful children...
D22 came home last night, she is meeting with the priest this morning for her wedding plans...it's so good to have her home even for a few days...S11 waited patiently for her to arrive...he loves her so much...that is what I am thankful for...the gift of my children...they love each other and they love their mom....yes, this morning I feel good...I feel truly blessed....that is something my H can't take from me...
So, I do have plans for myself all day...H will pick up S11 at 1 and I will spend some time with my girls then off with friends..and the day is absolutely gorgeous outside...lots of sunshine....
Thank you Snodderly....you always bring me around...
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
yesterday I was feeling great....then my D22 went and bought her own car...it was wonderful...now I have the one we bought for her back and D16 can drive it..D22 really has her head on straight. she is so smart...must get it from me ..
So, she calls and says H has to sign a paper for owner loyalty because we all have the same make of car and she got $1500 more off the car because of it...he gives me the third degree....I told him we should really give her the money back for the tires she just bought, she is in college, doesn't make much money (but has managed to save alot), she's helping pay for her wedding...he basically says, "so"...then he says, "whatever"...I wasn't going to fight with him...I wasnt being sucked into it...My D went a bought a car on her own, she's getting married, she helps me out w S11, and H was being a jerk....I just said, "you need to sign the paper between 12 - 5 on Sunday....and said I had to go....but the whole conversation just brought me down..he somehow gets in my head and messes with me and makes me feel bad or guilty, or something....I was a a ball field with a friend watching their daughter play ball...I'm sure he heard the yelling and excitement but he didnt ask and I didn't offer....then I just turned my focus back around....I didnt think about H for the rest of the day..
I went out last night with friends and had an excellent time...got home very late, woke up with this pounding headache I've been fighting for several days....S11 has a scrimmage today, D22 is going back to college, and S16 is getting ready for springbreak....It will be me and S11 for 2 weeks...not sure what we will do but we'll find something....
Treese
Last edited by Treese; 04/05/0912:39 PM.
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
It sounds like your D has her head on straight. If your H doesn't give the money back for the tires, let it go. Just think, your D is more of a grownup than your H right now.
Treese, you are doing good with not letting your H into your head. Keep it up. Don't let him make you feel guilty. Remember it is not your problem, it is his!
I hope your headache gets better. I had one yesterday! UGH!!!!
