Letting the shoreline go

[holdingon]

Mockers,
Maybe it's in the air... again. I too am feeling a bit down today.

And I cherish this time with the children so much - they are precious and changing every day. They grow up way too fast. I don't understand how my H can be away from them for such a long time

I don't understand this, either. I would think even when you are feeling completely selfish in your MLC mode you would still feel you are missing out on something. My kids are 15 and 13 and the time with them is definitely fleeting. My H is missing out on days and days...

Yes, I AM strong... but today I am lonely for H. I so want to SAY "just come home, we can work it all out" when he calls. But I don't. To be honest, I feel like exploding I want to tell him I love him, come home. Oh well.

[holdingon]

Mockers,
Maybe it's in the air... again. I too am feeling a bit down today.

And I cherish this time with the children so much - they are precious and changing every day. They grow up way too fast. I don't understand how my H can be away from them for such a long time

I don't understand this, either. I would think even when you are feeling completely selfish in your MLC mode you would still feel you are missing out on something. My kids are 15 and 13 and the time with them is definitely fleeting. My H is missing out on days and days...

Yes, I AM strong... but today I am lonely for H. I so want to SAY "just come home, we can work it all out" when he calls. But I don't. To be honest, I feel like exploding I want to tell him I love him, come home. Oh well.

[holdingon]

Mockers,
Maybe it's in the air... again. I too am feeling a bit down today.

And I cherish this time with the children so much - they are precious and changing every day. They grow up way too fast. I don't understand how my H can be away from them for such a long time

I don't understand this, either. I would think even when you are feeling completely selfish in your MLC mode you would still feel you are missing out on something. My kids are 15 and 13 and the time with them is definitely fleeting. My H is missing out on days and days...

Yes, I AM strong... but today I am lonely for H. I so want to SAY "just come home, we can work it all out" when he calls. But I don't. To be honest, I feel like exploding I want to tell him I love him, come home. Oh well.

[holdingon]

Mockers,
Maybe it's in the air... again. I too am feeling a bit down today.

And I cherish this time with the children so much - they are precious and changing every day. They grow up way too fast. I don't understand how my H can be away from them for such a long time

I don't understand this, either. I would think even when you are feeling completely selfish in your MLC mode you would still feel you are missing out on something. My kids are 15 and 13 and the time with them is definitely fleeting. My H is missing out on days and days...

Yes, I AM strong... but today I am lonely for H. I so want to SAY "just come home, we can work it all out" when he calls. But I don't. To be honest, I feel like exploding I want to tell him I love him, come home. Oh well.

[imalright]

Mockers,

Somehow I missed your thread and will be going back to read all of it. 8 months? I have been separated from my H for almost 9!

Yes this does bring us closer to our children; it is a shame that our H's do miss out. But they don't see that right now... My D's are~21, 19 and 17. This doesn't mean this hurts them less because they older. In fact I think it is just as hard on children no matter what their age!

the time with them is definitely fleeting. My H is missing out on days and days...

I wish my H was coming home. I think we both need more time. At least I came to my senses and I'm no longer getting a D. So I feel like I belong here. I'm trying to piece my M back together!

Hope your H will be coming home, I'm sure there is a good reason why he is not there yet.

Deb

[mockers2]

Thank you imalright. I will try to read your thread soon, although work is keeping me from being on the boards a whole lot lately, which drives me nuts.

Hang in there. It's good to hear your decision to not go with a D, and instead move here to piecing.

My old fearful self....(who am I kidding? I should say my repressed fearful self - I am far from beating this one.) is rearing it's ugly head now and i'm thinking what if something has happened to my H, and that's why I can't reach him? No answer on his cell and no answer at his apt. either. I'm sure he's fine. Got to get control of myself.

I agree with you that this kind of situation hurts children no matter what their ages.

Thanks again for your posts. They help so much.

[imalright]

Mockers,

Don't worry! H is OK. And if he does a no show, don't take it personally. He may have decided he is not ready. So don't get upset if he doesn't follow through. Don't confront him about it. Just "act as if" nothing is wrong!

Sometimes we just want it to happen so bad we get depressed, don't worry! You are going to get to where you need to be. Have patience. And relax, it's in the bag! YOU ARE going to save your M!

Deb

[holdingon]

Deb,
Do you think our Hs know they are welcome at home?

[mockers2]

Hi everyone -

Just a brief update - all my worrying yesterday was for nothing. When will I ever learn? My h is fine, and is leaving today on his trip home. His cell phone wasn't working yesterday. I talked to him this morning and he said "I can't wait to see all of you."

Got to get those goals finished.

Thank you all for the reasurrances. Thinking of you all today.

[Dagny]

Mockers,

Glad H is okay and on his way home.

Of course you are tired, taking care of kids is hard work. Vent here, H's would probably assume guilt and not take the venting as what it is, would assume criticsm (though there is some there, not the main point) and do damage, but do get it out, you need to. It is healthy for you.

The fearful side is hard to let go, but that is something to strive for. I, too, don't understand how they can be willing to miss out on so much with the kids, but that is their burden to bear, we can't assume that. We need to leave that to them and God.

I know how much it hurts when they say the mean things to us and want their daddy. You are right, it is their verbal and processing skills at work, trying to understand all this. I hate it, I want to defend myself, but as with my H, I know defending will do no good, especially with the kids. It is easy to see that, why can't I with H?

Keep working on the goals--I'm planning to steal your when they are done! LOL. Need to get my lazy butt going on mine.

And when he gets home, don't forget to act as if he is as overjoyed to be there as you are--remember the example Michelle uses in the DR book? Keep it in your mind and enjoy!

Jackie