I hope it's not true, but when I was using the child-support calculator today it asked how many nights are the children with the non-custodial parent and I guess each extra night means he can pay less child-support? It seems obvious to me that he's just doing it for that reason, since he doesn't spend much if any time with them that day. It's something he started a few months ago after almost a year of having them one night a week (the first couple months he didn't have them at all.)
I'm hoping I can work out maybe him having them 3 or 4 weekends during mediation which , if he wants to lower his child support then he could show that by spending time with them on the weekends when he actually could spend time with them. D9 has complained several times this past week or 2 about how bored she is at his apt. all day when he's out running/working.
I may look into the teaching at the LD school in our area (btw all the schools like that in FL are similar prices when I called all about $15,000 per child a year and we would have double that right now. I think they would probably give me an employee discount but since they pay their teachers minimum wage (I did look into that at one point) even with a good-sized discount for both, I think it would be way too much. Maybe when at one point I'm down to one child, D9, that would be something we could work out and I'll look into. I live in a town where there are 3 4 yr. colleges graduating Education majors so it's pretty easy for them to get teachers even at the low pay. And I really don't begrudge them the high tuition, they have about 3 kids in a class they say and it almost sounds like homeschooling in a way, they don't do grade levels and have them working at their own individual levels. They have all kids with learning disabilities, and it's supposed to be good (from other parents I've talked to).
I almost forgot to mention that the yellow house owner called me today and offered to rent me the place & sign a lease tomorrow. They seem like really nice people, and it's a quiet house in the country on 3 acres so should be good for the kids. The kids both wanted that house. The only negative I think is that they don't have appliances. No washer & dryer, dishwasher, frig, and the one thing they do have is the stove which looked about 20 years old. In a weird coincidence I'm one of the few renters that actually has her own appliances, but I'm thinking I'll have to get professional movers maybe to move the appliances (do they hook them up too she says hopefully?)
Copied and pasted my last post b/c it locked. I just got back from rehearsal and signing the lease. It took forever. Small town country folk--they seem nice but it took over 2 hours to sign a lease!!! He read it to me and everything. I took the kids b/c S15 hadn't seen it yet. He said it was awesome, so I'm glad about that. I said yep, but you're going to have to help me mow and do the yardwork and there's so much of it! We met the neighbor today also and he's really nice and the landlord lives 3 or 4 houses down so we know most of our neighbors already. It's unbelievably peaceful and quiet there--I've never lived in the country before.
Got home as H was calling me from outside so he prob. just got there I think. I just honked at him twice. Had a smile on my face when I dropped off the kids but didn't say hi or bye, b/c he was prob. upset I didn't have the kids waiting. Not going to stress over that or acknowledge that.
Thanks Puppy for the advice. Good idea to check the local classifieds, b/c a lot of the big-time moving companies are almost an hour away and they charge the whole driving times so that would be almost $200 just for them driving here. Bet they take their time too! So hopefully I can find a smaller local mover. Maybe I'll ask around too. Hope everyone's having a great weekend. It's gorgeous here! Karen
I also think that you can have your friends help you. People from church & from the theater. We always asked our friends to help us move and it worked out fine. Ex always hated to ask people so rarely did his friends show up but those that did got pizza/sandwiches and soda/beer so that seemed to make everyone happy.
You can do this. A new beginning without any ghosts. Who wouldn't love that?
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
A handy man could probably hook up the appliances for you, it seems so strange that a rental property wouldnt have them! I bet you could do it yourself... It sounds nice, I like living in the boonies, it is really peaceful, at night I can hear the ocean, and see all the stars.
The class size at that school sounds awesome, what a shame that they are so far out of reach (of so many, not just you), with those prices.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
A house on three acres sounds wonderful! Congratulations.
The movers can move the appliances. If you have a service contract on some of your appliances, perhaps that might include installing/hook-ups? Just a thought.
You could also take multiple pictures of how things look when they are hooked up and the process of diconnecting and then do it in reverse at the house. Your land lord maybe could help with part of it. Oh you are going to be fine!
Hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I'm guessing maybe hopefully right after the play ends we can have a moving day. I'm going to call and try to get some movers maybe tomorrow or the next day. I've only packed up about 5% of our stuff. How long do you think it will take to pack up 1800 sqare feet? We need to donate tons b/c the new house is 1650 I think so need to edit it down. And I'd like to have less, but both kids are so attached to their books and toys (well D9 with the toys). And I feel guilty asking them to give up a lot of their stuff, but it would be good to have less stuff.
We open on Thursday and have 5 performances this week and 5 next week and end the 3rd so maybe the 4th or 5th? I'm still doing my walking job trying to fit it in when I'm not at the theatre. D9's got the flu I think, sore throat and fever so far. I'm so hoping it's not the stomach kind!
D9 told me her dad now is running every morning she's with him. I know he had a race Sat. am (he did well & was in the paper) and she said he ran Sunday morning (they had spent the night there Sat.) She said he got there too late from running to take them to church, so he said he'd take them to the pool instead! D9 says he's been running every am he's got them which is only 2 ams. It makes me mad that he does that instead of running the other 5 days they aren't with him. And he could run in the evenings also after he drops them off? And then I'm thinking is he seeing OW those morning? I mean he could/should do that also when he doesn't have the kids!
Hope everyone's doing good. I'm going to try to catch up on everyone when I can.
You know.....I see that kind of thing a LOT with the spouse that left. It's a selfish thing and I think since they are in this selfish mode any thought of true responsibility is too much for them and they try to fill it up with "stuff". My former egf does this as well. She has her kids every OTHER WEEK and she is off during the day, but she waits until they are both all home from school and THEN takes them to the gym and works out while she puts them in the gym's daycare. I just really don't get it. When she is not working out, she takes them to Walmart, or comes up with SOMETHING to go do so that she is not home with them. I don't know.
