I'm expecting him not to visit me. I have no reason to assume otherwise.
I had a good weekend. I went hiking on Sat - which was a killer uphill hike and no view at the top b/c of fog & clouds! But still a great workout. I worked night shift last night and managed to squeeze in a few hours of sleep this morning. I am looking forward to crashing hard soon.
I'm in a weird place right now. I still have a strong spirit/conviction to stand for our M and hope for a miracle. At the same time I have big doubts about my H and the type of man he would be in our M. He clearly has a lot of personal issues to sort through and I honestly doubt he will - maybe never. I know there is nothing I can do for that and it breaks my heart. I am having a lot of anger & hard feelings towards him right now.
For myself I am not ready to give up on our M.... but the realistic part of me is accepting that nothing has changed in our sitch for months now. My H still wants a D and has given me no reasons to think otherwise. So what am I holding onto or fighting for? However the sanctity of M is very important to me and I find it difficult to completely let go. I am stuck in the wonderful land of limbo.
I have sought God's will & guidance all along and I will continue to do so. I am at the end of my LONG fast and He has done wonderful things through me. I have learned a lot and have a much stronger faith & understanding of God. I know God will continue to speak & guide me. I just need to be patient! Oh how I would love to see the master plans......
Me:28, first M H: 33, second M Married: 08/08 Bomb: 10/08 H filed D and deployed: 12/08 Served: 04/09 I deploy: 07/09 Hearing date: 08/09
I finally was served tonight. I'm guessing my H hired a private company to do it - b/c he was an a***hole! He banged on my door so hard I thought it was going to break and was yelling out - My Full Name! You are being sued! If you do not answer the door, I will go to work and have you served in front of the commanding general!
And continued to scream until my neighbor came outside and asked if everything was ok! I didn't answer at first to see how long he would yell!! haha! But figured I didn't want this smuck banging on my door multiples times a day!
What a job! He was obviously delighted to get me to come to the door and gave me the funniest look. I guess I should just pray for him :-)
Me:28, first M H: 33, second M Married: 08/08 Bomb: 10/08 H filed D and deployed: 12/08 Served: 04/09 I deploy: 07/09 Hearing date: 08/09
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Haha... I think he enjoys it! He is a rough, motorcycle riding guy who probably got his kicks out of serving me and then hits up happy hour.... telling his buds about embarassing this woman and raising ruckus outside her door. I actually find it quite funny :-). But humor tends to be a diversion tactic for me....
Me:28, first M H: 33, second M Married: 08/08 Bomb: 10/08 H filed D and deployed: 12/08 Served: 04/09 I deploy: 07/09 Hearing date: 08/09
At least you are able to find humor and keep it helping you. That is healthy. I'm glad to hear that.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
It's still a bit stressful being served, the shock and the feeling that you get. You should have answered the door in your military gear, hair rollers and AK-47 and asked what the hell he wanted. That would have been a site.
LOL. Ya, that would have been a good one. On the other hand, he might have asked you out on a date if you did that.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Haha! I like it. I actually answered in my robe and say, hey guy! I was about to get into the shower while you were carring on out here! :-)
I really wanted to say a few things to this guy...... Let him that know the "commanding general" he threatened to serve me in front of is actually over in Iraq right now protecting his freedom! and I also really wanted to tell him that the person he was yelling for was not home since the legal name he shouted out and the name on my D papers are incorrect (use my maiden name). The least my H could do is have enough respect to serve me with my correct legal name..... which just happens to be his last name! All I can think of is 4 letter words so I will keep quiet on that note.....
Me:28, first M H: 33, second M Married: 08/08 Bomb: 10/08 H filed D and deployed: 12/08 Served: 04/09 I deploy: 07/09 Hearing date: 08/09
Sorry that the process server caught you. while inevitable right now in your sitch, it is still hard. Keep your spirit up and lean on God for these difficult ties.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
