My H and I are both military, were in a long distance R, and got married this past summer. Right before he deployed to Iraq in December he filed for D - 4 months after M - stating our M won't work out for him. Months later I am no closer to understanding why?? I am still accepting I will never know the truth.
I am currently waiting to be served D papers. I will deploy this summer to Afghanistan for at least 12 months. The outcome on the D before I leave or after I come back is still yet to be determined....
Our communication & friendliness had improved for awhile, but has taken a recent turn down. My H told me a few outrageous fibs to get me to sign the D papers..... but the truth came out and he's been withdrawn ever since.
Thank goodness for my faith. It has pulled me through and renewed me over and over again. I would be a complete mess if it weren't for Him! I am continuing to pray for my H and his will in our M.
Me:28, first M H: 33, second M Married: 08/08 Bomb: 10/08 H filed D and deployed: 12/08 Served: 04/09 I deploy: 07/09 Hearing date: 08/09
I had a busy few days! I am taking a great emergency medicine course but the days are long! I came home last night and wiped out by 8:00 :-).
I came up with a new middle road solution that made me feel a lot better today. My dilemma is do I push to get the D finalized before I deploy or put a military act into effect that allows everything to be delayed until after I get back. Both thoughts left my mind uneasy. I would like our M to work out and will always have some hope.... but realize it would be a miracle sent by up above at this point and have to be realistic.
But the wheels upstairs finally started turning.... and I thought I could probably get a L to handle my case and let it play out the way it's going to without any interventions by me. Seems silly b/c the end result is still the same. But I would have a hard time forcing things through quickly to get a D finalized before I leave. I could change my mind but do not think I'll be comfortable doing that. I feel a lot of relief that I have a third option.
Otherwise, nothing to note. I got an e-mail back from my H saying he's doing fine and been busy... Very friendly and informative! He has been very withdrawn ever since he told a huge, nasty fabrication several weeks ago. I wonder why that is... :-)
Me:28, first M H: 33, second M Married: 08/08 Bomb: 10/08 H filed D and deployed: 12/08 Served: 04/09 I deploy: 07/09 Hearing date: 08/09
It's ok. I didn't sleep well at all. My mind has been racing lately and it's on my nerves! Some days I am at peace and feel good about everything... and others I am still a mess. I've found that when I'm busy during the day and don't think about my sitch, it catches up to me at night. I get hit by a lot of thoughts when I finally get home and try to go to sleep. I need to problem solve this one so I start sleeping better.
I had a lot of tears and frustration thinking about how my H has let me down last night. I typed out an e-mail to get my feelings out (didn't send it) but I still didn't feel better. My mind kept turning. I don't want to rely on meds but I might need to every once in a while.
Me:28, first M H: 33, second M Married: 08/08 Bomb: 10/08 H filed D and deployed: 12/08 Served: 04/09 I deploy: 07/09 Hearing date: 08/09
I don't. Mine is on the east coast. I am gradually making new friends and a support system... but still don't really have a lot of people I feel comfortable relying on through all of this.
Me:28, first M H: 33, second M Married: 08/08 Bomb: 10/08 H filed D and deployed: 12/08 Served: 04/09 I deploy: 07/09 Hearing date: 08/09
I really appreciate everyone on here and their support. It's wonderful to be able to share the challenges and struggles with y'all, get 2x4s when needed, get advice, and receive encouragement. It has helped me out immensely and I am very thankful. :-)
Me:28, first M H: 33, second M Married: 08/08 Bomb: 10/08 H filed D and deployed: 12/08 Served: 04/09 I deploy: 07/09 Hearing date: 08/09
I have a busy weekend....which is a good thing. I'm going on a long, hard hike tomorrow morning, which will probably take 5-6 hrs. And then I am working a night shift Sat night. Any extra time will be study time and going to church.
I have not seen my H since November. He deployed in December and has been gone ever since. He will have 2 wks to come back to the states in July. I will deploy in July for 12 months - so our dates may not overlap at all. Any thoughts about asking my H if he plans to see me?
Of course part of me wants to see him.... but it would be very difficult. We have never talked about any of this D stuff in person! He decided to file for D without ever bringing it up to me in person (probably b/c it was easy not to with his deployment - which I think it complete crap!). It's been difficult to have all of this happen without discussing any of it in person. And the other hiccup is home for him in Pennsylvania or Texas and I am out in Washington.
I am torn. I probably will not bring it up unless he does.
Any thoughts?
Me:28, first M H: 33, second M Married: 08/08 Bomb: 10/08 H filed D and deployed: 12/08 Served: 04/09 I deploy: 07/09 Hearing date: 08/09
I would continue to do what you are doing. Just prep yourself for worst case, if he does show up - then maybe you guys could have a talk about the sitch.
You're doing great, remember you're working on you. The hiking, the praying, staying busy at work, going to church, planning trips with your girlfriend. Stay focused on you and you'll be fine.
Me - 39 W - 39 D - 11 D - 8 S - 5 Served - 04/14/09 Temporary Court Orders - 04/27/09
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
