It's Complicated! Part 6

[peacetoday]

(((HUGS)))))
peace

[glamgirl]

Thanks everyone. I am so sad right now over the mess in my life. S7 doesn't want to visit his uncle. That is fine he can stay home with me.

H called a few times today. He sounded sad. Asked what I was doing. We chatted for awhile. I then said just a minute, and handed the phone to his dad. Not so sure that was the right thing to do, but this has to end some time. They talked for awhile.

H's mom wanted him to join us for dinner. He told his dad he would try, but then he told me NO. We took the kids to have spring photos done and then on to dinner. I wished my h had joined us.

H called later and asked if we could go to the Wolverine movie tomorrow. He knows his parents will be gone by the afternoon, so I guess he feels it's safe to come out and play.

H's parents are a handful. Our kids are their only grandchildren, so they do want to be with them, but I do have to set boundaries. When they arrived they said they could take D5 for 6 months to a year. I said no that isn't going to happen. I appreciate their generosity, but I do have to be firm. It was always my h setting the boundaries, now that is left to me, since they are not on speaking terms.

D5 seems fine with going. They treat her like a princess. I suggested they leave both kids and pick D5 on their way back through. D5 said No mommy I want to go. Well I guess that settles that. D7 said I want to stay with mommy.

Oh man, I just need to get through this month.

[naej]

HI Glam, not so quiet week end then if son stayed behind, oh well.

How far away do your il's live will you get to see your d in the month she is staying with them?
Who babysits for you if you and H go to the movies, does your older son still come over,I know you mised him so much when he first left.

Your H sure is a strange one,did his Dad make any comment about H not turning up for dinner?
Not sure I understand what you mean about his parents being a handful,as a grandparent myself I worry sometimes that I do too much or other times not enough, be good to have some insight into how you view that relationship.
So are you going out with H or did you not make firm plans.
Take care.

[glamgirl]

In laws live in another state, so the only contact will be via phone. S20 comes over once in awhile. He stayed overnight on Thur and said mom call me if you need me or help with the kids. He is going to help with D5 in June on his days off if we still can't afford childcare that way I can pay less. This may have been an option before she left, but I am so overwhelmed with the job right now and changing my schedule I thought it best to let h's parents take her until I have my arms wrapped around the future a bit more.

We are taking S7 to the movies with us. We will find something to watch for kids.

His dad made no comment, his dad is pretty quiet on that front so don't really know how he is feeling other than he said I don't know my son now.

As far as h's parents a handful they always seem to want to raise the kids themselves. They are the type of grandparents that would take the kids and raise them. They said this while they were here this time, Glam we will take both kids and you can just get yourself together and then fly to visit them each weekend if you like. That is what I mean a handful. Their generousity is their, but h and I are the parents.

I remember when s7 was first born, they came to visit and were taking him to our guest room with them to bed. I had to say no mom I am breastfeeding and he will sleep with h and I. I know they mean well, but we have to set boundaries. Before they leave today, I need to be firm D5 WILL be back first part of June or she doesn't go. FIRM!

Today, we will see if h comes over. I think he will show Naej, he was peeking a few times yesterday with all his calls.

It was interesting our neighbor asked where h was since his parents were over. I just said they are not communicating. The neighbor was shocked and in disbelief. He couldn't understand how anyone can hang onto bitterness and anger. He also said life is too short. I do remember when my h was very much like my neighbor so attentive and helpful when his parents would come to visit. Now won't even meet up with them. I am sure his parents feel disrespected. More of a mess!

[brandnewday]

Breathe............


((((((((hugs)))))))))

[naej]

Glam, you are doing all YOU can and at some point your H will have to step up or step out altogether.
I am pleased you have such a good son and you can call on his help, not what we wanted for our young men but sometimes they enjoy the giving back to us.

Enjoy your film, take care.

[glamgirl]

Ok h's parents just left. They are visiting another son in a nearby state. D5 did not want to go, so both kids are home right where they should be.

I just told h's parents no rush back that I would put D5 in daycare for drop in charge if they were not back on Sunday. This way I get to be with the kids longer. Kind of stretches the month out.

Looking forward to seeing Hanna Montana and possibly Monsters vs Aliens. Regardless just fun to enjoy our kids. H should be here around noonish.

Picked up the photos of the kids and they look great. Yes BND I need to breath. I am getting a plan together in my mind, so we will see what transpires in the next 30 days.

[glamgirl]

I am really exhausted with this whole juggling act though. I just keep thinking how much easier this whole thing could be if h would just bite the bullet and move home.

I often wonder what is it that keeps my h from returning? Is it really the depression or is that some excuse? Is it easier to stay away than it is to rebuild? What makes some spouses return and others not? How could I be one of those lucky ones or is luck not involved?

Any ideas anyone? Looking for answers that I probably won't find!

[naej]

GLAM, you said it

Looking for answers that I probably won't find!

also try to remember just how miniscule the number is that return home and often from what I read on these boards they go again.
Sorry but maybe it is just luck b/c you seem to be v good at dbing, but however good you are you cannot do it alone. He has to want it.
They had the girl who plays Hannah on UK tv last week, gosh I couldn't bare to listen to her after 5 minutes, talk about me, me and me!
Enjoy the film with your kids.

[glamgirl]

Well well well, here it is 1:30pm and no sign of h. Was I expecting it? In my heart, yes. In my mind, no. He refers to it as his culture, but I refer to it as irresponsibility.

I just finished cleaning up the house after h's parents left. Now the house is back in order. Getting the kids ready to head out to a movie, with or without h. If he arrives by the time we are ready to leave great, if not then his loss.