Praying and Living

[sunshinelewis]

Holly you are so right about GOD! I am standing, trying to anyway. Most people in my family thinks I am nuts probably, but I dont care, this is MY family. God gave this family to me and I am fighting for it. Without the LORD where would we be.
Anything is possible with GOD! But sometimes we have to stand in the Gap and pray for it. Never Give Up until GOD says so. Right?

[innishannon]

Hi Sunshine,

thanks for this; I want to keep my faith in God and stand for my marriage but when the enemy attacks it is s hard to keep standing and in belief.

I have just posted in MLC and would appreciate some feedback?

Am finding it hard today.........

[Holly06]

Nothing new except anxiety.

[ANewMe]

Congrats to your daughter and SIL. Glad to here there is some movement with TJ. Sorry to hear MIL is failing. Next time you visit that area, give me a call. I have a car now so I can meet you.

Glad to read your post about things not being so rosy in Michigan. I hope you are right about my situation in Michigan. I still see no signs of it ending. Trying to follow your advice about putting the love in a box on a shelf where I know where it is. God bless and I am still praying for you.

[Holly06]

Good Evening,
I have had some contact with TJ lastly, and in an effort to journal this, whatever it is, I need to update.

TJ sent me a birthday gift this summer ( a day or two before) It was a picture he took of me and D22 at her college graduation. A note accompanied : Happy 52nd Birthday Granny!! TJ
I called and left message, thanking him and teasing him about being called granny. He always was giving me silly, endearing nicknames, but I tried to object to "Granny".
He then text me early on my BD telling me I was welcome, and have a nice day....
Several weeks later,,
I sent him a children's book that I read in my classroom that has a Granny and a Pappy in it. I put post it notes in it,
"Do you recognize yourself in here?" and "If I have to be Granny you have to be Pappy."
D22 had tonsils out, and he CALLED, and since I was a dork and left my phone at home while at surgical center, I missed his call, and text back.
I did call him about an issue w D22, he answered and was helpful. We talked about the book, he was clearly not happy about being "Pappy". Ask if I wanted the book back, yes, he will get it to me.
Book came back with cute, almost flirty comments. (Do you recognize,,) ans: Noooo!!! I would not wear a hat like that! and: I think I would like to be G-Pa !
Very cute, and I believe it is almost flirty. Just short, but in the ballpark?
3 weeks ago, I had a phone issue, and since I am a bad girl and still have not successfully put cell phone in my name,,,I informed him that he might get a call.??? Never heard from him,,,, until today.

In an effort to keep the fun exchange going, I had a felt hat that I did not give my Dad for xmas, and some little metal initials. I sewed "G PA" on the side of the hat, included a note, and addressed it to Pappy Sc*******

Then I got this text exchange tonight:
TJ: assume all went well with phone switchover...get new # or keep old?
Me: hey there! not sure about Verizon end but AT&T is great! Still might get a call from them. Is that OK?
T:No problem. I have had AT&T for year or so...coverage ok; not as good as Verizon.
Me: Well I like it so far. Thank you. U in this week? I sent you a package (hee hee).
T: Oh boy!! In all week.
me: K. Ill wait for an answer. J
T: Have a good week...how is school goin?
M: So far so good. They already know I am a pushover. I swear, every year they come with less brains.
T: Maybe you are getting more brainy
M:Oh gosh that has to be it! I probably get dumb again everytime someone calls me Granny!
T: Grannys can be smart 2!!
M: I hop sew. (misspelling deliberate)

Clearly we both enjoyed the exchange. He could have dropped at any time and kept going. I think this is a huge step today.
I have been told that he is making too much effort for this to be a casual series of events.

I am hopeful.

But on the other hand,,,,

I hear (from his sister) that he is still "friends" w OW. They have seen each other, several times since she moved out and back to home/10 states away (for the second time).

Currently do not know status of R, but I assume it is still going, or it has blown up again w her pressuring him. As we all know, a big NO NO!

So all in all, I think that this is all positive progress. Lets see what happens when he gets the hat!




Text exchange:

[Was2sad]

Holly
A good update to see. It seems you two are testing the waters of friendship, without assuming too much about what might follow. It looks like a comfortable foundation for a very civil future Gparenting arrangement, and that would be a very good thing in itself. It should afford you both the best possible chance of growing a closer relationship.

Keep up the great attitude and relax as often as you can.

(((Holly)))

[yellowrose]

((((Hugs Gma)))))

Y

[Praying4aMiracle]

Holly:

Nothing wrong with a little flirting. Just try not to get disappointed if it doesn't turn into more than a series of "flings" if you let it go that far. As long as the OW is in the picture that is as far as it can go -- a "fling".

I was often able to achieve "flings" in my sitch and I doubt that I am even a quarter as good at flirting as you likely are. In fact I'd bet money on it lol!

Still, flings have to be a good start -- right? I gave up after seven reconciliation attempts (which resulted from 14 flings btw -- I did keep track) and two divorce attempts, but I didn't have to.

I could have continued on, but I didn't feel obligated to and the OM was still in the picture. That is a showstopper when it comes to reconciliation -- but certainly not flings.

Unfortunately, I had no proof of the OM prior to me being done, so a "no contact" was never formerly implemented during our last reconciliation attempt.

Could I have eventually salvaged my marriage? Perhaps, but not without more cost than I was willing to endure. Instead I choose to heal and move on. Not the path for everyone perhaps, but it is the one that I chose for myself (and I certainly don't regret it).

I wish you the best no matter what path you choose -- you certainly deserve it!

Take care,

P4M

[Holly06]

Hi

We are making some more progress,,, I think.


First of all, the end of this first story is: My Dad is fine. He is 82 yrs old, 5 stints, a minor heart attack that he did not treat, and a history of heart issues...but he still plays golf and does his own yard work. He is amazing,
He was experiencing chest pain and my mom took him to the hospital. He was admitted, monitored, patched and tested. He had indigestion, that mimics heart attacks. Dr. confirm this.

Well Sunday night I called the girls, each one yelled at me for various things and I remembered that TJ has kept me up to date with his parents so I let him know.
Monday morning he responded, and wanted to be kept up to date while Dad took tests. !!!
(My Dad and TJ were golfing buddies, and were really close.)
When I found out Dad was fine, released with no restrictions, I let TJ know. He responed within 1 minute Good to hear

What is with all the smiley faces lately?

Let it all go, until last Friday. TJ's birthday. Had already sent a gift, mirroring his gift to me for my bday.
Sent a very upbeat text, got a disappointing "thx"
BUT I guess he did not like how that sounded so he text again 2 hrs later..."or should I say thx granny.... just a few more weeks!"
Sunday, got a thank you for the gift.
"Thx for the pics of the girls,,, very cool...good memories!!

Well that disappointed me. But I was handling it. See I wanted a phone call. I thought it was time.
Went to bed reading a book and ... the phone rang. It was TJ. We spoke for 14 minutes,,, It was so nice.
He thanked me again(the excuse for the call and told me thought it was very classy....Then proceeded to keep the convo going asking me about school, shared some stuff back and forth about the girls,,,,, he kept the convo focused on me!
There was no doubt about it, but he sounded like a boy calling a girl for the first time. It was a real conversation.
No R talk, and a pleasant good bye.
He was so cute..:)
I just thought I would add to my journal about what might become a happy ending.
Of course, I can not predict the future, who know what will happen, but he is defiantly coming closer and closer!!

Hope this will become something that shows what coming out of the tunnel looks like.
I will be honest, I do not know where he is in the tunnel. It could be replay still, it could be acceptance, or somewhere in between. Could be a touch and go. However, he did not seem at all depressed or withdrawn, he seemed interested in ME!! Testing the waters.
So far it feels good, and I will take it for what it is.
Contact is increasing, he is flirting, and the contact is improving from short texts, to longer exchanges, to flirting, to a phone call.
It does seem apparent to me that he is aware that my impression of him is important to him. All the smiley faces, and he seems to be analyzing what his first response was, and thought his responses were inadequate. His text thank you's could have and should have been enough but he improved them each time!
Hope this helps.

[fisherman]

Just as everything else has been, this part of it is painfully slow as well. Keep living, keep laughing, keep loving and keep showing him a better you. Most importantly keep things "light."

It does seem apparent to me that he is aware that my impression of him is important to him.

This caught my eye. Like you wouldn't believe. They become EXTREMELY sensitive to how we feel and what we think about them.

You may even start to hear "test questions" so to speak.