Endless Optimism II

[kassie]

Sounds like you know what you need to do.

Let me know if you wonder about anything else. It is a sticky situation - just remember that you will do only what you can.

[silvagod]

Yeah, I know what to do thanks Kass.

I am going to ignore W and her fantasy world and keep away. I will keep in touch with MIL unless she gets poisoned again. If she does, then unfortunately for my own sanity, I will have to leave her alone too.

Turns out W has introduced OM to S23 as 'my mate'!! He says it's REALLY obvious they are more than 'mates' and have known each other a long time.

Good luck to them, they're going to need it!

[silvagod]

Just another quick update....

Talked to S23 tonight. He is getting so totally fed up with his mum and her lifestyle now. It's a sad sitch and I really didn't want it to go this way, but W has filled her life with so much deceit that she is struggling to find reality. S23 worked all this out with no input from me.

Moral of this...do NOT tell lies, tell the truth and face the consequences. It may hurt more at the time, but the future will be better.

[kassie]

Good input! A long time ago I was instructed to let the kids have their own R with each parent and not to get in the middle because it will only backfire.

As I let my kids work out their own thoughts and feelings they have been able to show respect and wisdom and strength in most situations. They only focus on the positive and keep the negative to a minimum and it has helped me out a lot.

[Startingover2]

"Moral of this...do NOT tell lies, tell the truth and face the consequences. It may hurt more at the time, but the future will be better."

I like that!

[silvagod]

When I was talking to S23 the other day, he said to me, "you know Dad, you are one of the few people that I have NEVER heard tell a lie"

Glad that he recognises that. It's something I have felt strongly about for a long long time. I've also drilled it into the boys.

I told a lie many years ago and ended up in a lot of trouble with the police. NEVER again.

[Startingover2]

You, Silva, are a true man of integrity! So nice to see.

[silvagod]

<blushes>

Thanks SO2, I try, I really do.

[silvagod]

Quick update...

MIL taken into a hopsice today...too frail to even move herself now. Seems like there is not long left. W called me to tell me. She was understandably upset and was crying. I felt nothing for her. I am upset for my boys losing their Grandma and for MIL being terminally ill, but have no feelings for W. I guess I have truly 'moved on'. I am sorry for anyone's loss, but I felt bad at first for not feeling upset that W was crying. That was until I realised it was her that put herself into that position with me. She wasn't there for me when I was upset.

What goes around comes around.

My life is at the moment, great in most parts, but messed up in the other. I just want MIL's suffering and funeral over as soon possible and then interactions between W and I will be reduced to virtually nil again. (Which is better) I have to meet up with her before the funeral though as I need to tell her that I am over everything and accepting of her new life if that's what she wants and she can stop preteneding it's not happening. I need to do this whilst she can talk quietly and NOT on the worst day possible.

Thanks for bearing with me over the last few months everyone.

I know mine hasn't been a particularly happy ending, but I am living proof that we can mend ourselves and that there IS life after the breakdown of a marriage, even a long one.

[pearlharbr]

(((Silva)))

Sorry to hear about MIL but hope she will be at peace soon.

Yep, karma happens.

I'm glad you're happy with the way things turned out, that's all any of us can hope for. You found the person you wanted to be and changed your life for the better. I think that's true success.