Gonna Get Me A Mojo Hand

[Thinker]

I need to adopt some "lunches" into my play book and get more mysterious...

The "mysterious" part doesn't work in my sitch. Every time I go out (GAL) I get a very direct question from my W - "Who did you have lunch with?". It's asked in a very friendly way, but there is no way for me to remain mysterious without lying or just plain refusing to answer.

[AlexEN]

I need to adopt some "lunches" into my play book and get more mysterious...

The "mysterious" part doesn't work in my sitch. Every time I go out (GAL) I get a very direct question from my W - "Who did you have lunch with?". It's asked in a very friendly way, but there is no way for me to remain mysterious without lying or just plain refusing to answer.

Thinker, my W like yours... And, if I were to answer: "Some friends," she would press the issue...

[aliveandkicking]

I need to adopt some "lunches" into my play book and get more mysterious...

The "mysterious" part doesn't work in my sitch. Every time I go out (GAL) I get a very direct question from my W - "Who did you have lunch with?". It's asked in a very friendly way, but there is no way for me to remain mysterious without lying or just plain refusing to answer.

Thinker, my W like yours... And, if I were to answer: "Some friends," she would press the issue...

Just curious. Does this work both ways? I mean do you want, expect or get that full disclosure from your wives? I think it is reasonable in SOME sitches to straight out suggest that you give each other some privacy and since they presumably want "space" you would like to honor that and have it reciprocated.

[JKL2009]

What would happen if you said it was none of her business? Or "I don't ask you everything about your activities?"

[SmileysPerson]

The Beeeeee-Youtee of it is that all the Mystery is of WAW's own creation! All I did was say (yesterday a.m.) that I had a lunch that day. She's the one who's spent the past 24 hours constructing what that means. Love it when someone does my work for me....

[SmileysPerson]

if I were to answer: "Some friends," she would press the issue.

Boundaries.

"Hey hon -- back when you were my wife, that was just the kind of thing you had a right to know."

[Thinker]

I need to adopt some "lunches" into my play book and get more mysterious...

The "mysterious" part doesn't work in my sitch. Every time I go out (GAL) I get a very direct question from my W - "Who did you have lunch with?". It's asked in a very friendly way, but there is no way for me to remain mysterious without lying or just plain refusing to answer.

Thinker, my W like yours... And, if I were to answer: "Some friends," she would press the issue...

Just curious. Does this work both ways? I mean do you want, expect or get that full disclosure from your wives? I think it is reasonable in SOME sitches to straight out suggest that you give each other some privacy and since they presumably want "space" you would like to honor that and have it reciprocated.

It actually does not work both ways - and I have called my W on it several times. Maybe it has to do with our history, but she want's her privacy and does not want to talk to me about which of her friends she is meeting with and when. She tells me if I press her, but does not volunteer it and gets a bit annoyed if I ask.

Part of it has to do with her wanting her privacy more than I do.

Part of it probably also has to do with the fact that she meets with a lot more people than I do - out meeting friends, playdates, coffee hours, etc - while I am working from my home office. So my going out is a more unusual event.

[SmileysPerson]

The "mysterious" part doesn't work in my sitch. Every time I go out (GAL) I get a very direct question from my W - "Who did you have lunch with?"

Otra vez, noch einmal, marra tanya, une plus de fois, una nuova volta: Boundaries.

"Hey hon -- back when you were my wife, that was just the kind of thing you had a right to know."

[aliveandkicking]

What would happen if you said it was none of her business? Or "I don't ask you everything about your activities?"

Should NOT be snotty or aggressive. If you don't have a wife like Smileys or an H like mine (who will zealously do the work for you), you may need to be more direct in that you will be divulging less information in general. Could be tricky. There have been points where I've said, "I know you want space and I don't ask you for details as to what you are doing so I am going to expect the same for myself." More often H will ask me where I'm going, I say "out" or "out with a friend" and he'll say "boyfriend" and I'll just laugh (because it is ironic that I'm actually on my way to the library to write)...

This is sensitive stuff though. In some sitches, it is very important to convey that there is no infidelity or chance of it.

[mindfull]

SP - Ha!

OK, defending the WAW here... (NOT BY CHOICE), BUT, when you originally talked about "THE LUNCH," was your appearance upgraded, smelling any better, sportin' a new pair of as$ hugging jeans? I can see her creating that scenario if so.

IF NOT, I still say... the fire's still there, and she's finding her own way not to like the potential of you checking someone else out. (oddly worded, but you get the drift)

MY OPINION.