I understand that for some of you, you may FEEL that SMW has expectations for something that may not come thru. I understand that you don't want her to be hurt and disappointed, however, if you believe in God's word, God tells us he hates divorce, and he tells us that God only granted divorce during Moses' time because of the hardness of their hearts, but it was not God's will from the beginning (of creation).
Also, a big portion of receiving answered prayers is based on our faith. Jesus said that if we had the faith of the size of a mustard seed that we could move a mountain.
I believe that it may be in the best interest for those who do not stand for what SMW believes in, to either refrain from discouraging her faith or to not post at all.
and this is where it gets fuzzy for me....
so straight up and to the point...
SMW if you rather I not post..then all you need to do is say the word and I'll understand..no offense taken..
Mike--you have always been supportive of my stand, even though I know you do not always agree with it or the way I am doing things. When I am royally screwing up, you tell me. i am thankful for that. I do not want you to stop posting.
Quote:
ST...myself being a very very young christian who fails miserably at leading/living the way a christian should live...I do have questions about faith...things from the bible, religion in general..I don't think that makes me a bad person, I don't think that means I'll burn in hell fire and damnation...I think that just means i have have questions that have not been answered...I also think don't necessarily think that God would want me to stay in a bad marriage for all my life when it would have never worked out...I could be wrong about that..but my conviction for getting out of mine when I did was/is just as strong as your's/SMW's is for staying in...
It is okay to ask questions to gain clarity, but questioning faith is one thing we are not supposed to do. Do I do it? Oh heck yeah! We are human and God understands that the enemy is striking against us at every opportunity. While I do not know what God's plan was for you and Kim, I know he would not have wanted any of his children to live in the situation you were in--the abuse was only going to escalate. If divorce was what you felt you had to do to get out, then so be it. As I have told you before, that is between you and God to resolve at a later date if it was not His will. I am happy that you have found a wonderful woman who appreciates you for who you are.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
I'm a believer. But I have to say, my prayers changed over time. Instead of asking God to help H "see the light" and restore the M, I just prayed for the guidance to know what to do, and the strength to deal with what was going to come, regardless of what way it went. Much like the serenity prayer.
I came to believe that God (or, if you will, "the universe" AK) has good things coming my way, so if that does NOT include H (remember that our spouses have FREE WILL and might not listen to the big guy) then I ahve faith that God has something else cool for me around the corner.
The belief and faith that, "no matter what, I'm okay" is what finally allowed me to truly let go of H or wishing for us to be Maritally restored...and then of course my "plans" for moving forward w/o him shifted again, as H and I are together. So, it happens. (A part of me thought, wth?)
Isn't this really another discussion, in some form, about the serenity prayer and where we are in finding ourselves with it? What can we change? Should we? What can we accept and should we? It may be a life long discussion. (But an easier one with time, PLEASE...)
(( j ))
I am okay with the prospect of DH possibly never coming home. I will be sad, but I will survive and thrive, for my sake and the sake of my kids.
I continue to pray for DH to find his way out of the fog, though, so he does not further lose his relationship with his children. IF that realization brings him home, all the better.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
I think we all struggle with that even in this little DB microcosm, as exhibited on this and other threads.
We can't change other people. Who knows which poster shows up as a rep for God to lead the way...or who shows up to challenge and test our resolves?
This is a live and learn, subjective deal here; Fascinating, enlightening and painful to live it and to experience others living it.
I'm done waxing philosophical...for now...
AK--
Views on Christianity and religions in general are as varied as the people in the world. You are right, how we apply it is subjective and we all have the ability to use and discard information at will.
In this little DB world, we allow people into our pain and struggles, essentially picking at the scab over and over again. I think that is why so many of us take breaks from the boards. It gives us a chance to let one wound heal before we tackle another one.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
I'm a believer. But I have to say, my prayers changed over time. Instead of asking God to help H "see the light" and restore the M, I just prayed for the guidance to know what to do, and the strength to deal with what was going to come, regardless of what way it went. Much like the serenity prayer.
I came to believe that God (or, if you will, "the universe" AK) has good things coming my way, so if that does NOT include H (remember that our spouses have FREE WILL and might not listen to the big guy) then I ahve faith that God has something else cool for me around the corner.
Well said. I continually remind myself of this as well. The good Lord can point our wayward spouses in the right direction, send countless "messengers" to show them the way, but in the end they have the free will to ignore all of it and go down their own lost separate path.
S4H--
Would you also agree, though, that God can and does send many powerful messages and guides to direct the lost back to the path that He has prepared for them? Maybe that is where a lot of the discrepancy comes in on the concept of free will. Yes, God gives us free will, but He still has a plan and a purpose for us and I believe that He will do all that He can to persuade us to fall in with His plans.
Quote:
SMW - stay the course you have chosen for you and your children. I for one believe you are on the right path. It will remain to be seen whether your H decides to join you or not, either way in the end you will be in a better place.
S4H
Thank you for the vote of confidence. I am seeing the cycling back and forth happening right in front of my eyes. I refuse to get on the roller coaster, though, as much as I hate to see DH struggling like this. Jumping on the ride will only serve to leave him without a lighthouse to guide him through the fog. I have to stay consistent--showing him unconditional love and respect, even when it seems like there is no hope. With lots of faith, there is always hope.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Yes, SMW, and remember, faith is the evidence of things NOT seen; the substance of things hoped for. You never know how close you might be to breaking this.
I know we never know what God's timeline is on all of this, and for some it may take tons longer than they are willing to wait for. I am becoming a patient woman and will wait on Him to show me what is next.
All I can do is continue to be me and live my life to the fullest. Tomorrow, I am taking the kids to the amusement park. My mom was supposed to go, but even though she can not I will do it. The kids and I are continuing to move forward with our lives. DH told the kids he "could not go" and that's okay. He will miss out on the fun with them. They are only little once and I lost too many years with the older two that I can't get back. I won't do it with the littler ones.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
And that is what I hate about this the most. The fact that one day, like my father does now, DH will look back with regret on all that has happened during this time. While my hope is that my marriage will be restored, more than anything I do not want my DH to live with regrets. I have a quote on my myspace that says "never regret things that you did in the past, remember it was what you wanted at the time." While it struck me as a platitude at the time, I know chose to live my life in such a way that I do not have to worry about regret.
That may be the single biggest influence on why I allow him the time I do with the kids and at the house. I don't want to ever be the reason that he does not have a relationship with his kids. He is so good with them--albeit he was better before all of this happened, but he is still much better than many other men I have seen. Tonight, I wanted so much to give him a hug and tell him thank you for being a good dad for his kids. I probably will do it sometime in the next week. He needs to know that I do appreciate him and all he does.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Applauding madly for your courage, Strong, Marvelous! Cheers ~~~
Greek--
What courage? I am a stubborn, stubborn woman who loves her husband madly. Or do you mean the courage it takes to go to an amusement park with four kids by myself?? LOL
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
