Maybe just come up with a list of kids activities/schedule in a e-mail for the week and make it business like. That way there is no assuming on your part if he heard you.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
That would be a good way to handle it and thanks for the suggestion. It allows the reminder without it seeming like I am questioning his parenting. With it being the last week of school and all we have going on with another wedding out of town this weekend, it would be good for him, and I, to see it all in writing.
That would also solve my concern of things being seen as pressuring, too, huh Mish?
Living God's blessing with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Good for him to know where the kids will be and when. That way he knows not to expect to just show up and see them whenever since they are busy and it serves to 'remind' him of the graduation.
Everyone that knows my xh knows he can't remember anything he is told any longer than 5-10 minutes. I was his constant reminder, wake up call, etc. for nearly 20 years. In one of his moments of clarity and openness in all of the mess of the last 18 months he blurted out that he was 'sick of me talking to him like he's a child. He doesn't need to be reminded of things that are important.' So imagine the chagrin when, after I had told him that Marc was testing for his black belt and needed to be at the other karate studio by xx time on xx date and it was his weekend, Marc missed his testing and was knocked out of the running for his belt because his dad.......forgot! I guess it wasn't important enough for his dad to remember. He called me yelling about 'why didn't I remind him. Now the kid is WAY behind and can't re-test! Blah blah blah...' Hmmmm....I just quietly said, "I'm sorry, I thought my instructions were to not treat you like a child and remind of things that are important.'
He shut up REAL fast!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
K--email is sent. I included the kids' early dismissal schedules for this week, D9's C appt., the fact that D9 and S3 need haircuts, asked if he might be able to cut S3's hair, and reinforced that we would be gone from very early Friday until ate on Sunday night.
Now, off to try to type something meaningful for a paper for Family Law.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Love the story about your H! So funny that we are at fault for controlling them, but when THEY screw up because we step back from the behaviors they complain about, we are still wrong. Guess this is where the idea of allowing things to run off us like a duck's back comes into play.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Have been following your sitch on and off, decided to read up on your sitch!
The reminder thing is tricky. Seems like you're doing the wrong thing regardless of what you do. But I have to agree with Mishka, when you "I want to remind you", it insinuates that you have already told him and think that he probably forgot. Do you talk to him on the phone sometimes? If so, in the middle of the convo, you could say something like: "Oh! Hey, BTW, about the graduation tomrrow. Do you want us to meet you there or do you want to drive together?" That way, you come across as assuming that he has remembered and just wanting to finalize the details. If he didn't remember, he has the option to just pretend he did without accepting any blame.
Love the story about your H! So funny that we are at fault for controlling them, but when THEY screw up because we step back from the behaviors they complain about, we are still wrong.
Loving detachment and then really listening and observing. I think it is hard to do the second part until you detach. You can't detach until you do the work on yourself. Quack Coach
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
D17 came in this evening and asked if DH called. I said no, why? She said, well he said he would call this evening.
I never got a response to my email. When D6 asked me if Daddy was going to come to her graduation I honestly told her that I did not know, Daddy had not told me if he was coming. She is so excited about tomorrow. I hope that if DH does not show up that she will be okay with it. I will cheer loudly for her, though, as I am so proud of her. She has done so well for her first year of school and in the midst of all the confusion in our home.
SIL called this evening cause niece has a high temp and she wanted some experienced Mommy advice. Mentioned that DH had gotten back a shortly after dinner time, did not say much, and went to his room for the night. Whatever. Guess he forgot all weekend he has kids that miss him.
I got tot get my brain back on track with school. Between the drama with D9 last week and my cold I fell behind a bit and need to get caught up and ahead so I do not have a bunch of work waiting for me after I get back from cousin's wedding. I think I am off to bed though. I still have some head congestion and am tired.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
D6's graduation was adorable! They did them individually in each class--the school is packing up to move into a new building over the summer and the stage is full of boxes.
D6 received a special award for being the "Most Creative" in her class. Her dream in life is to be a fashion designer. Her teacher said that D6 always brings a certain flair to all that she does. I think that is polite teacher speech for D6 is a drama queen!
They took assorted artwork from all through the school work and made the parents big books with the art, stories, etc in them. it is so cute and there are pictures of the kids in there from all through the school year. It is so mommy heartbreaking to see how much she has changed in the past year. Why do they have to grow up??
No, DH did not show up. One of D6's classmates asked where her dad was and she said she didn't know, Daddy doesn't tell us what he does. Made me want to call him and tell him off right then and there. He apparently answered my schedule email this morning--about three minutes before he would have needed to be at school. He did not mention the graduation at all. He did offer to take S3 for a haircut this afternoon, though, and said he would call me when he is leaving work.
My baby niece is feeling better, thank goodness. Her temp was over 104 last night. With going out of town this weekend and her being contagious with herpangina, I cannot go over to see her right now--and I really would love to go give her mom a break! BIL is out on work-ups and niece always gets sick when he is gone.
Need to pick up around the house and work on the never-ending laundry so I can start to pack for the weekend.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
