Sometimes I wonder if I just think God's speaking.. like on the radio yesterday was the Word of the Day and it was 1 Cor. 13; which I've been trying to use as my mantra... and it seemed like God was remindng me to stand strong.. or do sometimes songs come on the radio, and it's just a coincidence? What's your thought/opinion? Is there a reason for everything? There are different schools of thought on this.
You re right, there re different schools of thought on these sorts of things. I choose to believe that God will use whatever medium necessary to get a message out to His children. In talking with my pastor, he has expressed the same belief. In four hours of driving, I heard alot of music. Not all of it spoke to my heart, but these three songs in particular did. The fact that they were coupled with parts of my trip that were causing me to think deeply about my choice to stand for my marriage struck me as more than a coincidence.
D9's C likes to say there are no coincidences in God. I believe she is right.
I have felt God speak to me through scripture readings, sermons, music, even things I have read in secular works. We just need to be open to the message He is conveying to us. People here have often commented on the strength I have to continue to stand for my marriage in the face of my husband's indifference. It is not an easy choice and one I have wanted to turn away from many, many times. God always finds a way to draw me back to it, though.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Remember also... The Joy of the Lord is your strength.
I love that David Cook song!
Right now though, I'm not feeling so warm towards H. We are still living in the same house, dif bdrms, and going through D for last six months. He is an MLCer and knows the script well. For the last year, when this all started, I had decided to stand for my marriage. I have grown really close in my relationship with GOD through this, which is the best thing that has happened. Without the strength I've gained through HIM,and good understanding Christian friends, I may have been in major depression long ago. H has OW, and it has been so hard watching him come and go while living under the same roof. At my lowest times, outside of reading my Bible, I go to the Rejoice Marriage Ministries website. That website has given me so much comfort, especially when I read about the restored marriages.
I am on my second week of a three week vacation. It has been so good for me to be away from the madness for awhile. I do feel animosity setting in though, which I don't feel when I'm at home. I start thinking about how much he must be loving that I'm not there. He can come and go with OW freely. I start wondering if she's been in my house. (sigh). He texted me twice the day I left. I answered the first one, but not the second. I made up my mind to have NC. I was hoping he would miss me, but why should he if he has OW. (sigh again).
I do love him, but not who he has turned into. I pray for him all the time. I also pray for OW, that someone would come into her life that is available and not already married. That is hard. I also wonder if this prodigal were to come home, if I could forget. I need to forgive, I know that.
We need to remember the power of prayer, and HIS timing. The patience is what's getting to me though. And him acting like a teenager! lol
I feel the same way! He's using whatever means He wants to communicate with us.
I appreciate and admire your faithfulness. I know you give the credit to God, as you should, but feels good about your contribution as well.. you are standing strong when many others would give up.
I appreciate your posts and your perspective. Take care.
Remember also... The Joy of the Lord is your strength.
I love that David Cook song!
Right now though, I'm not feeling so warm towards H. We are still living in the same house, dif bdrms, and going through D for last six months. He is an MLCer and knows the script well. For the last year, when this all started, I had decided to stand for my marriage. I have grown really close in my relationship with GOD through this, which is the best thing that has happened. Without the strength I've gained through HIM,and good understanding Christian friends, I may have been in major depression long ago. H has OW, and it has been so hard watching him come and go while living under the same roof. At my lowest times, outside of reading my Bible, I go to the Rejoice Marriage Ministries website. That website has given me so much comfort, especially when I read about the restored marriages.
There are times that I have been angry, hurt, furious with DH. It is all part of an ongoing cycle of healing. They have dealt us a horrible blow to our very core knowledge of who we thought we were--as women, as wives. I do not know how you can live in the same house with your H blatantly disrespecting you like he is. It is time to set some boundaries of what you will and will not tolerate.
In the beginning of this, I spent all of my time on websites for restoration, listening, reading, whatifing. I still spend way more time than I should, but I have worked on GAL during the day, so it is mostly at night and I just stay up too late. I have taken to praying prayers of thanks for the many things that God has blessed my life with on a day to day basis. My kids, my health, the roof over my head, working vehicles. Then, I thank him for the blessings i am waiting for--but thanking as if they have already occurred. If we are going to believe that the blessings are going to happen, we need to also believe that they are a done deal and merely waiting on the perfect timing. Therefore, we can begin to thank for them now, instead of waiting until after the fact.
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I am on my second week of a three week vacation. It has been so good for me to be away from the madness for awhile. I do feel animosity setting in though, which I don't feel when I'm at home. I start thinking about how much he must be loving that I'm not there. He can come and go with OW freely. I start wondering if she's been in my house. (sigh). He texted me twice the day I left. I answered the first one, but not the second. I made up my mind to have NC. I was hoping he would miss me, but why should he if he has OW. (sigh again).
Do not give him that much time in your mind. Enjoy the time away as a time of growth and change for YOU. You have no control over him, his thoughts, his actions. I have always tried to believe the best in DH. If I believe in God's restoration, I do not need to worry about how often he thinks about me, whether he thinks about the OW or proceeding with the D. I am not perfect in this and I do lose faith, but God will pick me right back up again when I seek His face. Another good website for learning how to be a True Woman of God is www.reviveourhearts.com. It has helped me alot since i found it. If you visit it, look back to past teachings from the week before Valentine's Day, where there is a wonderful story of marriage restoration.
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I do love him, but not who he has turned into. I pray for him all the time. I also pray for OW, that someone would come into her life that is available and not already married. That is hard. I also wonder if this prodigal were to come home, if I could forget. I need to forgive, I know that.
I have prayed the same prayer for the OW. I pray for her conviction in the HS for the damage she is doing to innocent children. I pray for my husband and I pray not only for conviction, but for him to truly remember the past, not his rewritten version. I pray for him to regain his salvation in the Lord. I pray to see love in his eyes again for me, not just our children. I pray to feel his touch, to have him sleeping beside me at night and holding me in the morning.
Forgiveness is tough but the best thing we can do for ourselves. I read on here once that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. The bitterness will eat at you forever until you let it go. As far as forgetting, it will fade in time as the rebuilding occurs, until you remember the incident, but the pain associated with the memory is gone.
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We need to remember the power of prayer, and HIS timing. The patience is what's getting to me though. And him acting like a teenager! lol
Keep standing strong girl, MJ
I am not a perfect prayer warrior and am grateful that others are willing to hold my arms up for me when I can't do it alone. I understand about struggling with patience--it was never a strong point for me and the kids still live with the struggle i have with it, but I am SOOO much better than I was even a year ago. I learned not to ask God to grant me patience--He would just give me more trials to build it. Instead, I thank Him for the patience and grace He has given me to deal with things and thank Him for being there to guide my heart an tongue when it starts to get out of control. Since I am already dealing with one obnoxious teen, adding a second one in the body of my husband has not been easy, but it is easier than believing that he had all of this spew hidden in him all along and I never saw it. Instead, I think of it as a phase that he is going through, much like the kids do.
I am standing strong, but know to bend when the winds blow to hard. I pray the same for you.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Well crap! I walked in the door 20 minutes afte DH was supposed to be back, only to have the phone ringing and him saying that thy had just left and would not be here until almost 10. S3 is going to miss all the fireworks, except for what he sees from the window of the car.
Oh well, I guess I will go put the T-Tops back on the car and get a cup of coffee. I hope S3 is not too crabby at the late night and still gets up for church in the morning.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
I feel the same way! He's using whatever means He wants to communicate with us.
I appreciate and admire your faithfulness. I know you give the credit to God, as you should, but feels good about your contribution as well.. you are standing strong when many others would give up.
I appreciate your posts and your perspective. Take care.
MD--
Thanks for the positive strokes. Part of the driving yesterday was to get perspective on my situation and determine where I am in all of this. In fact, a supportive friend even recommended I tell DH that I am ready to file and get it over with, to see what his reaction would be. While I could handle the outcome either way, I am not willing to file. I guess I am not as detahed as I should or need to be, if I am not able to file yet. Limbo continues.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
SMW -- you might recall that I'm writing The Great American Divorce book. Or at least a snarky, Smiley's Person-like version of it.
And as you know, Smiley's Person is not a man of faith. But I am a man who can be inspired (though perhaps "is inspir-able" is a better, if grammatically incorrect, construction).
And here's what Smiley's Person thinks: SMW should write a book, published by a Christian publishing house, on being a Strong Marvelous -- and Christian -- Woman coping with divorce.
I'm very serious about that. Much of it -- certainly the book proposal -- could simply be cleaned-up (grammar, spelling, etc.) past posts. Nearly every publisher has a link on the web where writer's guidelines, proposal requirements, etc., can be found, and the easiest strategy would simply be to hie yourself down to your local Christian bookstore and write down the names of the companies that seem to publish the most in "your" field (i.e., family and marriage) -- or, if you've read as much as you seem to have done, simply look at the books on your shelves.
One writer to (another) -- I think it would be the ultimate GAL. You have a lot to offer and not only to the Maximally Heathenic like Smiley's Person -- it's obvious in your fellow Christians' responses to your posts.
-- it's obvious in your fellow Christians' responses to your posts.