CB - Don't give up telling her how important this is for you and for the both of you. My W never really saw how important this was for me until after many discussions. DQ said long ago that the R-talk wouldn't happen all at once but through many talks. She was so right about keeping the conversation going... It's still not easy to do, I know that first hand.
It took Jayce and me over a year to get things moving with our spouses. So don't give up man, it just takes time to get through. You love her... let her know in every way that you can.
Cinco - Really, that's what they're called. Like my suspense/mysteries are called "whodunits". Sooner or later, Lance can't stop himself & he ravishes the raving beauty, tearing her low cut blouse off her heaving (always heaving) breasts; she's hot for him too & he's - um -throbbing against a. his tight, butt hugging pants, or b. her arching -um- ah - venus mound, or c. both. (for those who love romance novels, sorry, but it strikes me funny) Extra points if it happens before the 5th page LOL. So, bodice ripper. I think there's a similar kind of descriptive name for sci-fi novels also. glad it gave you a chuckle. Jayce
me: 66 H:60 2 adult sons 2 grandsons adult daughter deceased 5/05 me:Part time trainer H: plant suprv.
Everyone this is BIG news. My A's were revealed in MC yesterday. The good news is my W wants to move past this and keep working on us.
As many of you have told me before... she knew all along or at least suspected something. W was the one to bring it up in MC. For us to move forward and really open ourselves to each other she had to know. It felt awful telling about it but at the same time lifted a weight off of us.
The best part is that she still loves me. My worst fear was losing her if it ever came out. I know now that there is hope to continue on our path of building a wonderful marriage. She expressed that she wants this now.
Cinco
Me49 W49 D17 M23 Sep01 Me PA 1 Jan02 filed D Mar02 ended A 1 reconcile Apr08 Me PA 2 May08 ended A 2 Aug09 A's revealed My latest thread Drive
Wow, that is BIG news. And, in my opinion, really great news. I think this will allow you to take your relationship to a level you never would have been able to. This was probably one of the toughest things you have ever done and I congratulate for going forward with it.
CB
Me; 42, W; 43 M; 16 yrs S12, D9
3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure" 5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
Cinco - you know how I feel, that this is actually an answer to a prayer.
Before now, you would have always worried and wondered "she loves me, but would she love me if she knew what I had done?" Now you will get to find out and not be worried about that. Now she has a chance to prove just how much she DOES love you, by accepting and forgiving you. It makes me almost cry, because the depth of this kind of love and forgiveness is humbling....
I'm so happy for your continued progress. It is so inspiring.
Cinco - I don't know you as I've just now popped into your thread, but I'm glad for you. I know I've forgiven my H for his A, and hopefully, he will return the favor. Even better, I love him more now than I did before, mabye more than when I married him.
Healing *is* possible.
Cheers,
Dia
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
Thanks for the encouragement Dia. It is an answer to prayers to find true love with my W again. This was the wall standing between us and the reason for her resentment and mistrust of me. I want to share myself with her, all of myself, not just part of me.
Gosh it felt like an intervention when she and the MC confronted me on this issue (the A's). It was what I needed though, I needed a push. I was so scared of what might come out of my confession to her. Before now though, I don't think she was ready to hear it - I wasn't ready to tell it - so in that sense the time was now *right* for us to both face this together.
Now we have another mini-crisis... I am out of work again as of Friday. My contract position ended early (not sure why they even call it a contract). I was supposed to go another 6 weeks but they cut it short. We had a bunch of projects fall through and well, it's easy to cut the contract guy when money runs short. I don't miss the manager I was working for (what a total dysfunctional jerk!), but I do miss the paycheck and many of the people I was working with.
Anyway please send your positive thoughts and prayers my way while I look for work once again.
The worst part is that W is worried about not being able to MC due to money issues. She told me last night that she really needs our MC. This woman has helped her so much - She has helped both of us so much. I assured W that we would continue no matter what it took. We will talk this over at MC Monday. Even if we have to go to every other week we will continue.
Hi Cinco! I am sad to hear about your job ending...but I know you will hang in there. Gosh it is so much different for you now than it was a year ago, huh? You have come so far!! I am so happy that the W wants to make sure you can/will continue counseling...its heartwarming really, to know how far you two have come.
Would everyone please send some good thoughts and prayers my way at 1:30pm CST, Tuesday, 9/8. I have a job interview tomorrow and it would be great to land something this quickly.
I know all of your thoughts and prayers have also helped with my M too. The support from all of my friends here is so wonderful. It is such a blessing to have all of the friends that I have met here.
