I am a horrible procrastinator, also start all kinds of projects that never get finished. I think part of my problem is perfectionism-- if I can't do something perfectly, I get frustrated and just give up.
I do the same and I also put things off until I have what I believe is adequate time to do them.
Do any of us ever have adequate time to do anything?
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12 Bomb and OM 12/15/06 Separated 01/02/07 Divorced 05/13/08 X married OM(OMH) 08/2009 Married 06/09/13
I think part of my problem is perfectionism-- if I can't do something perfectly, I get frustrated and just give up.
If you haven't yet, go on over to the Procrastinators Anonymous thread and check it out. I mentioned Flylady on there, and she is really big on perfectionism being a major driver for procrastination, and she has a lot of ideas for dealing with this.
I'd really love to see that thread get more posts from people who want to help and be helped in this arena of life.
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
Just a question. Do any of you find yourself always thinking too far ahead or looking at the big picture as a whole instead living in the here and now? If so try to remind yourself reaching any goal is done in steps...sometimes small, sometimes large, and perfect is an illusion along with many of our so called "problems" that we create in our minds that always seem to get in the way.
Move toward what you desire.....stop giving these so called road blocks that WE create any power over you. You are much stronger than you realize. Push yourselves in one way, shape or form everyday. Make an effort to change your routine just a little everyday.
You may just be surprised in time. Instant gratification is fleeting. Something worth while takes time and hard work but LASTS and can never be taken away.
DON'T STAND STILL.
BTW....Hi my name is Trapt and I am a recovering procrastinator....and yes it's a never ending battle you must fight.
Trapt, this is a great post, thank you! I hope you will go on over to the procrastinators anonymous thread and add your wisdom there!
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
Trapt, now I'm laughing at myself, since as soon as I posted that last item, I saw that you had done exactly that. Sorry, it seems like you are a couple of minutes ahead of me!
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
Today was a bit of a wash, as I didn't accomplish much except to mow the front yard. I live in a neighborhood of maniac gardeners--lots of retirees with time on their hands--so I can almost hear the tongue-clucking when my lawn isn't dealt with on a timely basis, like this week. I still need to do the back yard, which is so small it takes less than 10 minutes (the pool takes up most of the yard), but it was getting dark by the time I got that far. Maybe tomorrow. At least the back is still long for the bunnies to enjoy it, and so the cats and I will enjoy watching the bunnies.
Interestingly enough, something came in the mail today from our bank, addressed to H, and I opened it (he has told me to feel free to open anything that comes to the house). It was a check, returned for insufficient funds, that he had deposited to the account he opened when he moved out, and it seems to be payment for playing his guitar at a coffeehouse nearby. (I had heard through the grapevine that he has started playing out, which is a little ironic considering how many years I spent unsuccessfully encouraging him to do that, in addition to his involvement in various bands, thinking he would really enjoy it and it might lead to some extra income. <sigh> )
It's not for a lot of money, and I imagine he keeps pretty close tabs on his account so he will figure out on his own what happened, so I am not inclined to contact him about it. It is curious, though, that he still hasn't changed the address on that account. Shortly after he moved out, I started getting stuff here at the house (like his box of new checks) for his new account, the one he opened (at the bank we have been using for 20 years) on his own so that I wouldn't know what he was up to, and he said he had tried to straighten out the address thing but stopped because he needed the checks to start paying bills. Well, that was over seven months ago, and apparently the bank still has the address here at our house as being the one on file for his new MLC account. I don't know if he just didn't change it because he didn't want me to somehow find out where he is living...but, hello, this is a BANK, and they have pretty good security, so why would they give out the address to someone (i.e. me) who isn't listed as a co-owner on that account? I did have to sign a paper when he opened the MLC account, to allow him to transfer money from our joint account into the new account, because I'm not listed on the new account so I guess they have to have proof that he's not stealing money from me without my knowledge. Thank heavens for small favors.
I guess I'm not really looking for advice, athough I will take it under advisement if someone has some, it's more that I am just documenting the cuckoo state of the MLC brain, and wondering if anyone has any thoughts on what he might be thinking that inspired this course of action (or in this case, inaction).
I mean, doesn't he want to be notified by the bank if there is a problem with his account?? Why would he rely on me for that? 'Cause I really don't want to call him up after two months of complete darkness between us and tell him that he had a check bounce. I don't want to talk to him regardless, to tell the truth, not as long as the alien is in residence, and I have no hope that the alien has suddenly decamped in the last two months. <double sigh> I wish I could just put in an order to have him removed from the planet until he regains his senses...send him to live with the Vogons! Make him listen to their poetry until he either straightens out his head or throws himself out into the vacuum of space, sans spacesuit! (Yes, I am a Douglas Adams fan!)
Sorry, just venting a little. You may now return to your regularly scheduled travels around the net.
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
Dawn, you just cracked me up. Who knows what goes on in their minds? My h, two years post bomb, living with OW's mother, still has on his wedding band that is falling off from him losing all the weight.
I guess they want some kind of connection, just in case that big life doesnt work out.
We are just spinning our wheels if we try to figure out the MLC mind.
