I think it would be for the "I'm thinking of getting married, what should I know?" crowd, which should be EVERYONE.
But as for SP's book, it still needs to be in there, so people reading and really honestly ask themselves if they are marrying for the right reason and if they have been educated.
I actually think it can make it tougher in some ways. I mean once you realize you made an iffy choice, what do you do? So, that needs to be addressed. Most men wont pick up the book until their backs are against the wall IMO...
The questions at that point are how and what do you do to get your marriage on track and/or function through D?
since this book would be targeted towards left behind husbands, quite a few things come to mind:
1. staying in shape, getting in shape, staying healthy: being a man and maintaining your masculinity means keeping that testosterone pumping even as you get older 2. learning about attraction, learning what traits & behaviors you possessed before you got married, those things that attracted your wife to you in the beginning, those things you lost when you became married and replaced with traits & behaviors that wives found unattractive 3. never losing respect for yourself, loving & respecting yourself above all others because once you let your wives disrespect you, they will lose all attraction & love for you and seek out other men 4. personal development, always pushing forward, continue learning, growing, evolving 5. maintaining your individuality, never losing sight of the fact that you were an individual before you got married and you still remain one after you get married: losing sight of this fact places alot of pressure on your wife to do the same and not having your own thing(s) to do outside the marriage causes you to be come boring - creating some space in the marriage so that you have time to miss each other 6. never getting caught in the trap that you have do everything in the world to please your wife when she starts doing less & less for you and starts losing attraction for you - when you get caught increasing your responsibilities, duties, generosity & devotion to your wife while she simultaneously does the opposite: nothing good can come from this, always remember to respect yourself. 7. never become anyone's doormat 8. always maintain a great attitude & composure 9. You are responsible for your own happiness, don't get caught in the trap that you are responsible for someone's else's happiness: it doesn't work that way and you'll feel like a failure when you aren't able to make someone happy and the opposite is also true: your wife isn't responsible for your personal happiness, you are responsible for your own happiness, you control this. 10. Always be confident and if you aren't confident, learn what it takes to be confident. Being a confident man is necessary for healthy relationships: some are born with this, some learn it but either way you can be confident - it is attainable by all men 11. Don't whine & be insecure about anything. REAL MEN don’t whine about ANYTHING, EVER. They’re extremely secure. Saying things like “I’m tired”, “I don’t feel good”, or “I’m worried about the future” in a way that says I need sympathy from my wife and anyone else around me smacks of huge insecurity. Women are not attracted to insecure men. That attitude a man should have in life is this: whatever happens, I will deal with it and get through it successfully. Playing the role of a victim or martyr is not attractive. Wuss-like behavior is just plain not attractive. 12. Be a leader in your own life, chart the direction and go for it: win, lose or draw - you will always be a better man for it. 13. Male logic will never trump Female emotion. Emotions aren't logical and trying to reason with an emotional women on why she shouldn't feel a specific way never works. Learn to be sensitive to a women's emotions while still maintaining your masculinity: Sometimes women aren't looking for direct answers to their emotional problems, sometimes they just need a strong wall to lean on. When women go through extremely tough times in their life and try to lean on the men in their life and find that their husbands aren't strong enough to provide this emotional support, this will kill the attraction. Men need to be strong & supportive so that their wives feel secure with them: when this isn't there, it will damage a relationship. 14. Have goals & ambitions and pursue them: give your life purpose beyond raising a family & being married, it's extremely attractive and really gives life meaning. Staying at home and just getting by, ie. going to work and paying bills is boring and not attractive at all 15. Composure, be a strong wall for your partner(a good friend on this site taught me that one ie. "strong wall" and I've never forgotten it). Keeping your composure will bring amazing results, maintain your composure when your wives get emotional and start to push your buttons. Joining in the emotional chaos when your wife pushes your buttons communicates that you aren't strong to your wife. Women test men: it's a subconscious, automatic process that people need to acknowledge and deal with by not ignoring it. Women have to test men, it's a survival mechanism/instinct that hasn't been phased out by 1000's of years of evolution. It will always be there. How else can women know for sure that you really are the real man you appear to be? How else can they feel secure around you enough to invest time in you, have a family with you, raise children with you, etc. They can't take your word for it, actions speak louder than words (body language is so much more important than the spoken word). Losing your composure is one of the fastest ways to lose your wife. Being upset or angry is unpleasant to be around and reveals insecurity in yourself. Women always test and challenge men with questions and behavior to see if you’ll let them control you. When a woman knows that she controls you, she loses respect for you (we've posted dozens of variations on this specific idea on this forum) and when she loses respect, she loses attraction, stops loving you, ie. "I love you but I'm not in love with you".
As a confident, secure, independant, strong, wise & masculine man it is your job to welcome these tests, know that they are not done purposefully or consciously - these behaviors are subcionsciously driven, knowing this you should maintain your composure: expect the tests, be charmed by them, smile when you experience them because you know they are coming and won't stop even if you ask her to stop, see through the tests as your partner's way of knowing she can be secure with you, disarm the tests by remaining cool & calm & attractive under pressure. Enjoy them - it's part of being a man.
Man there is so much stuff I could write about this, SP you definitely will have enough info for several books.
I look forward to it, publish it please, that would be my choice.
On scratching the itch I saw you post earlier?? Still a bad idea. Let me tell you why.
Woman in question and man in question may only think that they are "scratching an itch" and know what they are getting into. That's far from true usually. The issue is that you have not had your emotional needs met in a long time by your wife (not sure what their sitch is) and anyone that meets those emotional needs- and surely the most important ones (sex) you will most likely think you're falling in love with. The same chemical reaction that happens to the wayward spouse will probably happen to you.
Many women would say whatever to get a good catch when in reality they are hoping that person will fall in love with them. Not saying that's with every women just some. And, I'd question anyone who told me right off the bat "I've always thought you'd be good in the sack".
Jeeeyah! Totally! But that's a book written by a woman for men.
This a book written by a dude for dudes -- hey, dudes, I went through this, this is what it's like, this is what you need to consider.
And without any Deida-esque shafts of manitude penetrating the rose of consciousness....
Because I think you know my policy on that.....
No, this is the "survive your divorce" book for guys. Like an emotional companion to the MWD books. She's got the how-to covered; this would be more by way of the "what it was like."
