Just remember it is now about you and your children and if your wife scomes along for the ride, that is an added bonus...
If not you WILL be a better man because of it..
That is what I am told at least once a week...
I do know this is very hard to see and every instinct you have is screaming out to go to her and beg, weep, cry, plead, promise her the moon etc...
Just breathe and do what I do...
Before I do anything concerning hubby, I come here and post it first - Trust me - 98% of the time my reaction or what I am planning to do is wrong...Told you it takes me time to get it. lol
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Have you been seperated from your wife? I find it hard to navigate with such a distance between us. She has been communicating with me more than usual the past couple of weeks. Last week she ask if myself and D 6 wanted to go to the movies Saturday after she was off from work. I agreed, but it feel apart Friday when I was talking to her about us. I find it difficult to talk with her sometimes, she keeps it so generic (more so than when I talk to a neighbor). Should I just go with whatever.
M (46) W (45) S (17) D (14) D (6) T (20) M (17) Seperated 3/2009 . When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2
Don't let her get to you with her comments. It took me a long time to get over them and they took a terrible toll on my self-esteem. What it comes down to is that they are afraid and are saying anything hurtful as a defensive mechanism.
When my W kept saying she was afraid of me because she had never seen me so angry before after I found out about her A, I asked her why did she think I was so mad? She wouldn't answer, just saying how she was afraid of me. She couldn't get to say that it was because of her A and that she cheated. She still has never admitted to it.
Just take it one step at a time. What are your goals as per DR?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I have not read your sitch. Are you in the same boat as me? Do you have a WAS or MLC?
I just keep trying to "fix it" that's the contractor in me I guess. My work is so slow where I live, I find myself trying to repair the situation almost on a daily basis. I have spent a lot of time with my girls, but my son has become very distant, it may just be the age. I seem to be fine when I have work or out with family and friends, when I don;t my mind starts to drift back to my sitch. I fall into a trap every couple of weeks when I see her making some positive steps forward usually towards the kids. I wrote here a letter and took her some flower on sunday after church. She texted me the following day that she did not know what to say. The flowers are beautiful. I read your letter and will think about everything. Have D(6) call me tonite. I have quit making D 6 call her unles D 6 ask to call her. The W 9 times out of 10 won't pick up the phone and that leave D 6 crushed. For me the letter was my last attempt at saying how I felt.
Last edited by Bravehardt; 07/16/0911:06 PM.
M (46) W (45) S (17) D (14) D (6) T (20) M (17) Seperated 3/2009 . When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2
My goals are lacking. I had three set in April and did not meet all of them.
M (46) W (45) S (17) D (14) D (6) T (20) M (17) Seperated 3/2009 . When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2
Well my W and I physically separated last year in June. She came back in December to help me with our D who was getting a bad rash from the place she was staying at.
When she first moved back, it was tense beyond belief. But now it's pretty good and if you it wasn't for the lack of intimacy, you'd think we were a happily married couple.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
That is so inspiring to hear. What do you think lead to her change of heart? I have a unwavering determination when I've needed it in my business, I'm trying to channel that determination in to my personal life, I never thought I would need it here. Patience and a desire I guess.
M (46) W (45) S (17) D (14) D (6) T (20) M (17) Seperated 3/2009 . When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2
I think he started showing signs of MLC 2 years ago and last friday he packed his stuff while I was at work and moved...
No word, no note nothing - Try explaining that to your kids when they get home...
It took him 7 days to contact me (today) and even though I was happy to see him texting me, I still waited to get back to him...
This IMHO is worse then when he told me about the OW...
Absolutely devastating and up until a few days ago, I honestly didn't want to live but with the help of Prayer, my Pastor, my 2 boys and this board, I am ok today...
Some days are so much worse then others but as I told Alexen this morning, today I choose Joy
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
You know we might be the lucky ones! Something to think about.
M (46) W (45) S (17) D (14) D (6) T (20) M (17) Seperated 3/2009 . When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2
