ST - I have other words for it...I just can't post them here. OW has made him the worst he has ever been. He feels entitled to anything and everything. His relationship with his parents has diminished and that with his brother. H is closer to OW's family. Little do they know it's all an act. He needs them to like him. He needs to be charming and warm and helpful....god forbid someone tells OW to dump his a$$ (not that she would). But, I don't think he feels confident enough in their relationship to do anything that might rock the boat .....not with her or her family.
Sorry about the kiss. It was a weak moment...just wanted to say good-bye. But, somehow, today I feel like it should have been "good-ridance" (sp?)
We will be going back to court. He wants to take me back to lower his CS and at that time I'll file an OSC also and add some stuff to the custody order. There are things that need to be in there that I was unaware I needed to bring them up. They were in the original custody order and I thought they got carried over...but, they do not.
Question for anyone...K has been waking during the night the last few weeks. Could be the heat, could be the change in custody, who knows what it is. But, the sad thing is she cries hysterically. It starts in her sleep...like she is having a nightmare...then it just grows until she is bawling. I go to her and try to comfort her, but sometimes I just can't get her to calm down unless I pick her up. I worry that I may be setting a pattern by picking her up and on some nights I put her in bed with me because she just wont stop and I get up at 5am it's tough to get a couple hours a night, sleep.
So, I do worry that maybe I might be babying her too much. But, my biggest concern is the crying in her sleep. Is this normal? It worries me like there is something else going on that is disturbing her.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
Not sure on the night waking. I still do think that the visit schedule is alot for a one year old! All weekend with H? Especially when he doesn't see her inbetween visits? From everything I have read and understand court guidelines don't even advocate a child going overnight until they are at least 2. This may be too much for her.
Will be interesting to see what happens when your D is final. I bet OW will definately be turning up the M heat. Just a matter of time before he runs again.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
His behavior with your child sickens me. Does he expect her to feed and clothe herself too? Does she change her own diaper? He needs parenting classes and needs to start at the basic level.
I would be very concerned about Kendall's change in sleeping habits. Talk to your pediatrician soon. She could be suffering from seperation anxiety due to the recent change in custody arrangements with her not being old enough to handle them. What she is going thru is not normal and you should consider that she is trying to let you know something is wrong in her little world. Either have the doctor write up a report that you can take to the judge or have the doctor call her father directly to discuss this with him, not that it would do any good but maybe coming from a third party???? Then if he ignores the doctors suggestions you have more ammo to get visitation restricted. Again talk to Kendall's doctor but I dont see anything wrong with holding her or trying to soothe her when she cries at night. She needs to feel safe. Letting her sleep with you could result in her thinking she can cry and sleep with you everynight but I still think the good it will do outweighs the bad. When she gets a little older you can reason with her to sleep in her own bed. Theory is when your child needs you at night that you should sleep in their room until they fall asleep. That is a little hard with a baby in a crib.
The two of them getting married is a foregone conclusion. He has nowhere else to go even though his actions show he isnt happy there either. Let is go. They deserve each other and the pain they will cause.
Thank god your BIL is there to watch out for Kendall.
His behavior with your child sickens me. Does he expect her to feed and clothe herself too? Does she change her own diaper? He needs parenting classes and needs to start at the basic level.
I would be very concerned about Kendall's change in sleeping habits. Talk to your pediatrician soon. She could be suffering from seperation anxiety due to the recent change in custody arrangements with her not being old enough to handle them. What she is going thru is not normal and you should consider that she is trying to let you know something is wrong in her little world. Either have the doctor write up a report that you can take to the judge or have the doctor call her father directly to discuss this with him, not that it would do any good but maybe coming from a third party???? Then if he ignores the doctors suggestions you have more ammo to get visitation restricted. Again talk to Kendall's doctor but I dont see anything wrong with holding her or trying to soothe her when she cries at night. She needs to feel safe. Letting her sleep with you could result in her thinking she can cry and sleep with you everynight but I still think the good it will do outweighs the bad. When she gets a little older you can reason with her to sleep in her own bed. Theory is when your child needs you at night that you should sleep in their room until they fall asleep. That is a little hard with a baby in a crib.
The two of them getting married is a foregone conclusion. He has nowhere else to go even though his actions show he isnt happy there either. Let is go. They deserve each other and the pain they will cause.
Thank god your BIL is there to watch out for Kendall.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I go to her and try to comfort her, but sometimes I just can't get her to calm down unless I pick her up. I worry that I may be setting a pattern by picking her up and on some nights
Read about early attachment. She needs you to pick her up and hold her close.
My kids slept in my bed as babies and transitioned fine to their own room (besides, I am well aware that they wont want to sleep in my bed as teenagers)...Babies cry for a reason. She should not learn this young that she is on her own. She should be held and nurtured and given an opportunity to feel safe and responded to.
I go to her and try to comfort her, but sometimes I just can't get her to calm down unless I pick her up. I worry that I may be setting a pattern by picking her up and on some nights
Read about early attachment. She needs you to pick her up and hold her close.
My kids slept in my bed as babies and transitioned fine to their own room (besides, I am well aware that they wont want to sleep in my bed as teenagers)...Babies cry for a reason. She should not learn this young that she is on her own. She should be held and nurtured and given an opportunity to feel safe and responded to.
IMO.
I agree. She needs to be held. This is a tough time for her with the transitions. She also may have huge anxiety about being in a crib since your H lets her just scream and scream in there and walks away. I imagine its not good memories and feelings about a crib.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
that oughta soothe her some