Brave, I have not read this entire post, so I may be missing things, but..... most everything can be found online anymore and printed. Bank statements, cell bills, debit transactions. From there you can piece lots together, trips out of town with gas station fillups off credit cards. Just a thought to start with.
Let me ask you about documenting everything. I started in the past but quit. What's the quickest way to get it done? I'll be pulling from memory and text messages for much of the dates and such.
If you are refering to the things she does and the dates, etc., then I would say the best way to keep organized would be to get one of those pocketbook calendars that you can carry around with you and pencil in the activity on the calendar date it happens. If you have any solid proof.....like any receipts, etc.....then you could keep that in a safe filing place that is not in the home or that she could not find. Those would be two separate records to maintain. I don't think it would be as difficult as it may sound in writing.
I would like to suggest that you not continue to ask her about an A or OM. You've made your suspicions known to her, so now bid your time and wait until you have some type of proof before you bring up the subject again. That's just MHO.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
My W hasn't been using our bank accounts as far as I can tell to buy fuel or anything like that out of town. All I have are the cell phone records that I pieced together.
M (46) W (45) S (17) D (14) D (6) T (20) M (17) Seperated 3/2009 . When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2
I would like to suggest that you not continue to ask her about an A or OM.
I have not said a word to her about this since mid-May. I'm just venting, letting the gears in my head grind away and hoping to find a way to purge this BS out of my life!
M (46) W (45) S (17) D (14) D (6) T (20) M (17) Seperated 3/2009 . When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2
Well, there are GPS trackers you can place on a car. You can get the type that give you real time on a computer, or ones that you can retrace back on a computer afterward. $100-200 on ebay.
I did looked into one of those a while back, but figured I'd give it up to a higher power for a while. It just seems that it doesn't stay up in orbit long enough.
Thanks
M (46) W (45) S (17) D (14) D (6) T (20) M (17) Seperated 3/2009 . When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2
I cannot control her period, never tried in the past. She has just gotten under my skin the past few days and I'm irritated with her.
I'm trying to find your thread a take a look.
You seen to be up late, I usually don't get many post at this time of night.
M (46) W (45) S (17) D (14) D (6) T (20) M (17) Seperated 3/2009 . When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:2
Sounds like we are feeling a lot same right now. My W is in the process of moving out and it is putting a lot of strain on the family. The kids are totally unsure of how to react, I am trying my best to take their minds off of everything, but D10 is an emotional wreck.
My W only has duty to herself and appears to think about the kids only if something better isn't going on.
Your POV - What is hers?
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Also, I believe I read in someone's post, that you think the LBS should bust up EA/PA if they can. My W has claimed several times she is not under the influence of anyone (man, woman or friend) and denies any involment in a EM/PA. I feel otherwise due her lack of willingness to communicate with me and the slight contact she has with our children.
Your feeling - what is hers?
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Her cell bill shows streaks of activity with calls and text to OM. They can be daily or upto a week or more apart, lately (I only know this after Coach asked me about cell bill last week, I looked on Friday for the first time since May). Also it appears that call are originating from the city where OM lives every other weekend.
She In the past, the way she responded to me when I asked her about an A with someone else to her face says otherwise. She won't look me in the eyes, sideways body position, deflecting it back to me, the usual BS. How does this work and is it worth it to attempt to do? Are the results favorable?
Maybe she thinks about it when you bring it up. She may believe OM is only a supportive friend right now. She may wonder about the possible future, but only when you bring it up.
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I do have some intel on suspected OM.
And what of it? You mentioned it before. Is he the Dark Knight waiting to swoop in? Is he your target now?
I am not attacking you, my dear. An OP is only a symptom of problems in the m, not the cause, in most cases.
Last edited by The Wifey; 07/22/0902:17 PM.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
