I make jewelry and cubic zirconia has great beauty. It's just not a diamond. The description of your ex sounds like rhinestone.. but there was enough between the two of you to be together, make beautiful babies and be a family at one point. It's like any gemstone. Not all angles are flawless. And on the emotional side it takes two to get there, Kerr-Bear (tee hee)
I'm just now getting caught up on your thread and I have to apologize for missing your first post here. You didn't have one up for a while, so I missed when this one started. Oh, well.
Anyway, good job w/the GF. Not going on vacation w/her is the best thing. She has some definite family issues that have come to light as well as her personal demons that came out to attack you and your D once you had "called it off." Makes you wonder what else she may have lurking for you had you stayed.
Oh, yeah. The "chaperone" thing is just too creepy. That alone is a "Run Forrest, Run!" signal to me.
On the subject of the vacation, is ANYONE going to use the tickets? I mean I completely understand your not going, but did you think of buying out her share and taking the kids yourself (or have her do the same) just so the money isn't completely lost? Just a thought and I'm sure you've done this. I'm just curious as to what you ended up doing.
Ok, now on to the golf and the Asian fascination. I too think it is personal taste so if you like Asian women, go get a good one. The Asian population in the PNW is surprisingly very high. As a historian, I'm guessing it was because of all the Asians who went to Vancouver, Canada when the US wouldn't let a single one through the gates in the late 1800s and early 1900s. Only makes sense they'd migrate down to Seattle and Portland. I think people are surprised to know how heavily populated these regions are w/Asians. So, in short, that means nothing but good things for you, my friend.
As for golfing, the hardest thing to do is to get out and play w/people you don't know. Have you thought about finding yourself on a course during the slow time and just playing alone? I love doing this b/c it allows me to practice from the course when it is really slow. In those times, I can "re-hit" a shot (not counting the 2nd one, of course, but just practicing), or even play two balls from the tee to see which one can beat the other. It is easy to do here in Arizona b/c the courses are ghost towns after 3 pm and it is light until 8, but I'm not sure what the landscape is like in Oregon.
The day you can walk up as a single and not be bothered by playing w/someone you've never met is the day you'll know you've taken your biggest step as a golfer.
Man, all this golf talk has me wanting to get out myself. I may try to sneak on to the course next door this afternoon w/D and pitch and putt a bit w/her on the 2nd and 3rd holes.
All in all, you sound good, as usual, my friend. Keep it up and I'll be following along again now that I know you are up and running.
The tickets were part of an online package and were non-transferable and non-refundable. I canceled her and her daughters air reservation through the airline, but was able to still retain the tickets for her if she chooses to use them at a later date up until Mar 2010 with a rebooking fee. I refunded all her money and it is up to her whether she wants to do that trip in the future with her daughter. My kids and I are still making the trip this August. I'll send you a link to my travel blog in the alternate universe - no pictures of my non-6 pack belly though.
I remember back in the early 80's that a lot of Vietnamese boat people settled here in Portland. They still seem to be a pretty tight knit community. It probably takes a generation or two to fully assimilate to the American culture.
Yes, I should look into my little 9 hole par 3 in my neighborhood. The problem is I always have something else planned or todos around the house and yard.
The putting game I learned yesterday is fun and challenging for playing even by yourself. You stick 3 tees at roughly 5, 10 and 15 feet from the hole. You putt 3 balls from each tee. Sinking all three balls from the closest tee is a par, sinking 2 of 3 from the middle tee is par and sinking 1 of 3 on the farthest tee is par. When I played yesterday against my instructor, I won by a stroke (but he was not aiming his balls)! I can see this game helping me to gain much confidence on the greens. Plus, the great thing about where I take lessons is they have 3 practice putting and chipping greens that are free to use.
I had a nice introduction walk through some connecting parks with lady #2 this morning. She seems very nice, cute and a simple girl. Her apartment is close to my house and her work is a couple blocks from my work. I saw her again later at the Korean super market behind my house. Next weekend, we may go to a Chinese hot pot restaurant I know of that is very good. Maybe she is not interested - it is hard for me to read women.
I've been keeping in touch with XW and the kids in Thailand. They are now back in Bangkok after being in Phuket for a bit. They tried to go snorkeling in beautiful Phuket, but the conditions were not right. Oh well, the kids will get more than enough opportunity for that when they are in Kauai with me. I asked how D6 got along with her girl cousin of about the same age. Apparently, when the 2 girls are together, they torment S8 just like when X-GF's daughter and D6 were together.
I am very excited to see the kids next Friday. X has said that she will drop off and pick up the kids and I at the airport when we go on our trip. She may even water my garden. And the day before we leave to Kauai is D's 7th birthday. We are all going to do a girl scout thing at a rose garden and then I may ask XW to go out with us somewhere to on behalf of our daughter.
So I was going through a huge amount of photos and cards tonight to divide up acccordingly. I thought I had already given the XW all the sentimental photos and cards, but there was still a bunch in there. I sure did write her a lot of cards to her (some self made with photos) when we were married. I cant help but still have some good memories of our marriage. But, I am very content to have divorced myself from her selfish and cheating ways.
I've come across many a card, letter, photo full of love, laughter and joy between ex and me while cleaning out the house. Ex asked once for pictures for the 'memories'. You're a better person than me going through it all to give to yours.
It is strange how we can hang on to the good memories and at the same time realize that our Xs are cheaters and liars. I for one have difficulty (still) believing that the mother of my child turned into the person she is. I sense that you are more sure than I am of your X's character flaws. in spite of that you remain accomodating (as do I). I wonder how all this would have played out if we were the WASs....anyhow, glad you had a good time with lady#2. You will know in time if their is mutual interest. For the time being enjoy the ride. That should be our motto in life in general......
The main ride I care about now is the stunningly beautiful green paradise of north Kauai. I have read many travel summaries where people actually cry when their Kaui vacation ends.
I'm glad to hear someone is going to be using the tickets to Hawaii after all.
As for the putting game, I really like it and will be trying it soon. I need to get out and as soon as my dog situation is settled, I'll look to do that for sure.
It is strange how we can hang on to the good memories and at the same time realize that our Xs are cheaters and liars. I for one have difficulty (still) believing that the mother of my child turned into the person she is.
Kerry, I have been dividing things up myself this past week. Sorted the BIG box of cards/letters into his/hers piles. Then found a box marked "dresser" and lo and behold, some more cards and letters and a couple pictures he had been keeping in his dresser drawers before the move. Always bittersweet. I am keeping my half because they were real at the time. And because someday even if we are divorced, I want the kids to see and know that their mom and dad truly loved each other and that they were born of love.
