Still smoldering......

[blindsided1]

I agree. What you have all said, makes perfect sense. I think the crib makes he anxious. But, I have to say, she's pretty good about going to bed in there. It's the middle of the night when we have an issue. And, she screams bloody murder. So, I put her in bed with me last night and we BOTH slept like a baby.

I'm worried about her. The crying in her sleep and whimpering concerns me the most. I have a call into the doctor.

So, MIL calls me today. Asks how things are going. I say "fine" didn't even mention the blow up with H. Until....she did. Aparently, H called her and told her she can't talk to me anymore. She basically hung up on him and told him to grow up and learn to deal with me in a civil manner. H also told BIL he couldn't talk to me or they would kick him out. He laughed and said "go ahead, that's $600 less you'll have a month and I have other places I can stay". So, I think H is losing it. Basically, H told MIL that she had to choose between K and her brother (their son). I know this wreaks of OW. I can only suspect that she resents the fact that he has another child. Another reason I am unhappy about her going to her dad's house.

So, I have kept myself as removed from his as much as possible. I have no plans to talk to him unless it's an emergency. MIL asked H how K was (because she was sick), he told her that he didn't know. MIL asked him if he even checks up on her between visits...his response: She can't talk, yet. What's the point of asking her?" Huh????? Um, how about asking ME how K is? I can talk? He's a moron. Sorry

[Startingover2]

Keep me posted on what the doctor says.

Nothing your H (and my exh)does at this point should be shocking...but we always are. He is so self absorbed. He doesn't deserve children. Obviously they frustrate him and he only has so much patience.

Good job on the MIL situation.

[His Wife]

His world is imploding around him. No one is buying into his crap anymore. Not you, not MIL or Bil and most likely OW is catching on. Unfortunatley she is desperate for a man,.any man so she will still hang on. Who cares at this point.

Keep that baby safe. He is a moron. I dont call because she cant talk? What is that about. Is he 12? He cant call you to check up on his sick daughter but he can call you for sex?

Hopefully the doctor will call you soon so you can get some feedback on how to get to the root of what is causing this change. If she needs to sleep with you to feel safe, then let her. I really cant see a downside to it. Your instincts have not let you down yet.

I am so sorry this idiot continues to cause you so much grief. Somedays I wish he would just let Kendall go so you and she can heal and get on with your lives. I know that is rotten but you dont deserve this garbage.

I think of you and that sweet baby everyday. You really are amazing and strong. You just shouldnt have to be........

[S.T. _I Made It!]

oh I am SO so happy reading everyones comments about the baby's sleeping arrangement. most people tell parents to let them cry it out, and I am so against that..as you already know.

I totally understand that you don't want to change the routine and for her to be totally "stuck" in your room, but unfortunately this is your situation. you can't do much about it right now until you go back to court, so whatever you can do to keep her as safe feeling as possible is the best thing, no matter what. Most the time I'm for keeping the kids in their own beds when it interferes with the parents ability to do you know what, but at this time, that is not an issue and I would think you may even feel comfort having her sleep by you. I would almost suggest to put her in her bed each time to keep that routine going, and as soon as she starts to cry, get her immediately, and either calm her to put her back down, or put her in your bed. She needs to know that you will be right there. I totally believe that his thing of making her go to sleep and crying for an hour is causing this, and I'm sure it is happening at night too.

I am so sorry, but definitely go to your doctor, get it in writing, for the courts, or for H.

don't feel bad about being there for her when she needs you. she IS a baby, not a 5 year old that understands it's bed time and why we go to bed.

your doing good B.

[blindsided1]

Hello everyone. Sorry I haven't posted. I had a nice, sunny weekend with my daughter and my family.

So, H keeps getting more and more ridiculous. Friday he was supposed to pick her up and have her overnight, but bring her home Sat before noon. He had asked me for the extra night since he wouldn't see her for three weeks. Well, 4:30 comes around, the school calls and asks me if he is coming. K is still at school and no sign of H. I text H asking if he is picking her up....no response. I text again about 20 min later...are you getting her or do I need to pick her up?....no response. I call him....voicemail "what's going on. Please let me know if I need to go get her." No return call. I call BIL...he calls H AND OW - no response. Finally, I call H, again..leave a message that I am going to go get her from school and he can just pick her up at the house....please call me & I hope you're okay, just worried that I can't get a hold of you. Well, and hour later, I get a call from H, "What's up" he says (noise in the background). I ask him what is going on? Why didn't he pick up K? He says that he forgot he was taking her that night. So, I asked if he was coming to get her and he said "no" he had made other plans. I just said, "bye" and hung up.

He better get his sh!t together...I am not going to allow him to let his daughter down when she gets old enough to know that he let her down...again and again.

Haven't heard from him since...boo hoo NOT. I always feel better when i dont see him.

[Startingover2]

I still think you should revisit letting him have K overnight. She sounds like she isn't handling the change of routine well and he is such a flake anyway.

Hope you are doing ok.

[blindsided1]

I wish it were that easy. I know I haven't been posting much....trying to stay semi-drama free...especially between seeing him. I haven't heard from him and that is just fine with me. I just feel sad for Kendall and his lack of involvement in her life. But, time will tell. This may be exactly what is supposed to happen.

[blindsided1]

It's amazing how much better I feel each day that goes by without contact with H. I just feel more relaxed and at peace. This is a good thing. I can't say that being without my H is what I initially wanted. But, now, I know that maybe, just maybe...it's what I needed to get back to who I was. I have been doing a lot of reading on codependancy and narcissism. It has helped quite a lot. I understand better. And, the idea that H's parents and brother are being treated poorly by him and always have....listening to BIL tell me how H made their lives hell when they were growing up...how much strain he put on their family and how they continued to be there for him and love him through it all...it has made me see this on not such a personal level. He isn't doing this to me because I'M not good enough or because I deserve it or I'm a bad person...this is who he is...this is who he has always been and most likely...this is who he will always be....even with OW and their fake family.

So, enough Debbie Downer talk...I had a weird dream last night that I cut my hair myself and I did such a horrible job that I ended up with a mullet....WTH?

Have a good day.

[Startingover2]

I feel the same way....I just don't get to go as long without contact with exh. He will usually text once a day, but his visits are getting fewer and fewer. Fine by me.

I agree this is nothing personal or because of a shortcoming of yours. Your H is majorly flawed! Big time! Most likely this will be a pattern.

Lets get our beach chairs, popcorn, soda, and candy and watch our H's go from one mess to the other! Love ya!

[blindsided1]

Love you too. Hope you're well.